Welcome to a new feature on Ask Grandma J!   By new feature, she's talking about a recent attempt at domestic violence  training here at the weed infested ghost town  known as the Spa.

Grandma J was looking at her old Cutco cooking utensils, and realized she's schlepped these sturdy reliable tools across rivers, valleys and state lines.    She bought these tools as a young bride from a door to door salesman, who was her husband as she sat drinking Folger's instant coffee with her neighbor Wilma.   The year was 1965.

Grandma J has had  several hundred sets of spatulas, ricers and masher stuff over the years,  hey where's the masher? like the plastic stuff in that container.  Nothing has lasted and served her as well as the Cutco utensils. 

Lately, Phillip Johnny Bob has been hanging around and showing some interest when Grandma J nukes popcorn cooks, so she thought she'd broaden his horizons in the kitchen.

Grandma J handed PJB her old cookbook, that served as her bible for many years.

Phil started thumbing through it.......

But found it disgusting  hard to figure out with all the references to measurments and foreign phrases like filet and ala carte.

So, Grandma J thought she'd try the hooked on phonics for cooking method of teaching PJB.  Or, simply put....hands on!

Oh, for crab's sake!   Crusty has his eye on Grandma J's spoon rest!  Could it be possible that Crusty thinks it's an aquamarine friend from the Chesapeake Bay?  

Phillip Johnny Bob decides to take matters into his own hands and put Crusty in his place.    Thank goodness Grandma J was there to save Crusty....and try to salvage the family unit and go back to square one with the cooking lessons....by eliminating the seafood section of the old cookbook.

Name That Tune  Bloom

****Update****

Thank you all for your input on my mystery weed flower....which turns out to be a weed afterall.   While it really is a weed, and an invasive one that's hard to get rid of....according to many of you, it is a distant relative of the Morning glory.   If there were a prize to be given out, it would go to Jen who sent me a link with pictures of all five zillion weedy wildflowers in Texas. 

This is the photo that won...the flowering weed is Purple Bindweed.

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As you know, there aren't too many old farts  tennants living here at the Spa yet.   So when Grandma J goes walking down through the far end of the  property....she sees a bunch of weeds and other wild stuff growing all over the place.   It is like a ghost town down there except the ghosts haven't found it yet. 

It's not just a matter of vacancies....it seems construction pulled out with most of these buildings unfinished on the inside.   Money problems?   Who knows, but the landscaping isn't in and anything growing isn't something that was intentional by design.

There is this flowering stuff growing like crazy across concrete walkways and driveways.    I think it's kind of pretty...and of course it's very drought resistant since we don't get rain around here

Thel blossoms are a nice shade of purple, or would that be lavender.  If there is a fragrance, I wouldn't know because I don't get close enough to smell them.   If this is a poisonous flowering vine, I don't want to find out the hard way.

I have looked high and low for some answers.  High being glancing towards the heavens for a divine answer, and low....well, low would be the anals of the internet.  I've searched the following: Texas flowering vines,  wild Texas flowering vines, poisonous Texas vines,  pretty Texas weeds.   I've scrutinized the bazillion photos that pop up but nothing looks like this vine of mine.    I made that part up because it rhymned.

My question is this.  What you ask?  You didn't know there was a question?   Yea, there is.  So, who amonst the three of you can tell me what this is?  Can I touch it, will it make me sick?  Should I take some home and plant it in a pot? Maybe chop it up to put in my soup?  Who knows?

A to Z Monday

brought to you by the letter.......

O

as in OATS

I love OATmeal, always have.   I buy the instant stuff, but not the flavored ones.   I put sugar on mine, but not milk or anything else.

There are several brands out there, but I'm sticking with the Quaker brand as far as pictures go, because it was easy to find the vintage ads and pictures.   Any brand is good, just look at the label and if there is only one ingredient...rolled oats, then it's good!   Here's what wiki has to say about Quaker Oats Company.

Here is one of their first ads, circa 1901,  for Quaker Oatmeal....or as it was called then rolled oats porridge.

This is a Quaker OATS ad from 1905.   Funny how mom's still serve Oatmeal porridge.  I wonder how many cook the original rolled oats.   

I thought this was a strange advertisment for Quaker OATS....but you be the judge.

I know nothing about these OATS....but it popped up when I googled OATS...so here it is.

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AND...I have to tell you there is a town not far from me here in Central Texas called Oatmeal, Texas.  I kid you not...check it out.


Now, head on over to A to Z Mondays and check out the other O words!   Hey, maybe you want to join us?

What JJ Wants
from Santa this year

The Informant!
....a Friday Matinee review





Fat Matt Damon plays the real life Mark Whitacre, a young rising executive with Archer Daniels Midland (ADM), the agricultural giant that can make anything from corn.

Mark is bright with an education in biochemistry, and well liked within ADM. He discovers that ADM is engaging in international price fixing of a food additive, and turns informant/whistle blower.





He has a beautiful wife, Ginger, played by Melanie Lynskey, and three kids, living in Suburbia Illinois.





He spends two and a half years recording meetings with competitors around the world for the FBI. He considers himself a hero of sorts, and has visions of becoming the CEO of ADM once the hammer falls.




The inconsistencies in the details starts to turn the tables on Mark, and the FBI have him submit to a lie detector test. I don't want to go any further with the details or results of this test because the movie takes a twist ........





FBI agents Brian Shepard (Scott Bakula) and Bob Herndon (Joel McHale) who were instrumental in cracking this corporate corruption, became close to Mark Whitacre for the two and a half years of working on the case for the Bureau. They liked Mark, but were taken off the case once things twisted and turned.

I hesitate to go into further details because I really liked this movie, and don't want to spoil it for any of you who might decide to see it. It's rated R and I don't know why. There is no nudity, no F-bombs or other foul language that I noticed. Maybe the corporate corruption? This movie is a comedy, but it's not what I would call ha ha funny, just Mark Whitacre being naive and a bit unsophisticated in the role of a secret agent.

I give this movie five stars....because it's a true story, and I liked it.

FRIDAY MATINEE
on Friday

This week I've already made up my mind. I'm going to see a movie based on a true story, that is also a comedy. Does it get any better than that?

The Informant! I really wanted to see this movie last week, but the first showing isn't until one PM and I had to be somewhere by three. This week, there's nothing holding me back!

Check back later for my review

Yet Another PSA
.....with a side of beef jerky


Now, let's get serious here. Fall has fallen, and it's time to break out the flannel PJ's and put up the storm windows. It's also time to get your flu shot.

So, Grandma J is going to mosey on down to the doctor's office and have him check out her foul ball injury see about getting her shot .

Not the swine flu shot because she falls into the age bracket that doesn't need it. By age bracket she means she's too old for it, and under the new health guidelines, there's no sense wasting valuable resources on older Republicans patients.






Have you had your flu shot? Are you planning on getting it? Are you afraid of shots? Will you cry?

How Does This Happen?


When Grandma J visits her daughter's house, she follows all the strict rules....like taking off her shoes in the entry hall.


Take today for instance....she had to run over and get something A-Ron needed for school. So, ever obedient, and a rule follower, she kicked off her flip flops when she entered the house.

BUT......




Upon leaving, she only found one flip flop in the entry hall. She was really in a big hurry and couldn't figure out where the other one could be. She retraced her steps all the way to the family room and back.....no flip flop.

Could the fact that there was one yellow shoe in the hall mean that she wore one flip flop and one shoe? Ummmm, the yellow shoe isn't Grandma J's.


She decided to sit down and call the mental health clinic rest a minute because obviously, she wasn't getting enough oxygen to the brain. All of a sudden, out of the corner of her eye, she sees something familiar.




Her missing flip flop! Looks like JJ decided to sabotage Grandma J to keep her from leaving. Funny how he always tries to take things out his doggy door sideways....and they never fit.





Unfortunately, she had to leave......but she promised to come back. Why do dogs look so sad when you leave them?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Did I tell you A-Ron plays football too?

Let's Play Ball
all year 'round

A-Ron started another baseball league twenty miles from home. The season openers (doubleheader) were Saturday.





Getting a good luck hug from JJ........

But here's something I want to know from other dog lovers. Just don't judge Grandma J on her manners....




....but does anyone else's dog stop what they are doing and stare at you if you burp? Not that Grandma J is a burper by nature, it's just the occasional belch that slips out that catches JJ's attention.







Here we are....on deck getting batting pointers from Grandma J. A-Ron is trying out his new bat the Sgt John bought for him. Yeah, isn't it great that our soldiers can shop on the internet from Iraq?

A-Ron hit a stand-up double, driving in two runs. This is A-Ron on third....leading off and taunting the pitcher as the third baseman yells for the ball. He's being ignored.




And, A-Ron is going....and the third baseman is wanting the ball!





Grandma J missed the slide at home...but A-Ron scored on a steal home.

The excitement didn't end there.....

Grandma J got hammered by a foul ball.





I know you are confused...how does someone get nailed on the inside of their arm? Maybe if they put their hands on the back of their head.

The next question you probably have is, What bruise? Well, it happens to be a deep tissue bruise. At least that's what the doctor said. Ok, so the doctor didn't say that, but his wife was at the game and she said he would say that if he was there.

It's A to Z Monday

This week is brought to you by the letter

Grandma J searched high low for the perfect P word without using body parts like peepee pinkie or posterior.

She came up with a blast from the past.

The invention that would put checkers and yoyos on mothballs all over America. Yes, it's the first ever video game to sweep the nation in 1972.....except for the childhood home of Grandma. Oh wait, Grandma J wasn't a child in 1972. But she was a struggling young wife and mother, washing diapers and hanging them on the line to dry while she cooked dinner and fed the dog. So, she got a job so she could go to work and buy her own ATARI Pong game station thing.



It looked like this.....and it was so popular that people were having pong parties where they would throw ping pong balls into little cups, renaming the game beer pong pong contests and tournaments right in their own living rooms.




Arcades and 7-11 started installing coin operated pong game consoles. That was when kids started ditching school.




This is what the screen looked like when the game was in play. Exciting isn't it? Gotta love those graphics. You may find it confusing......so I thought I'd help explain the whole concept.......




Is this better? You hit the little round white ball and your opponent hits it back to you. The game speeds up the more you rally. Isn't this exciting?


In case you can't grasp this game looks too complicated to understand, you can try your hand at Pong right here.


Now, when you're done playing pong, wander on over to A to Z Mondays and check out some of the other P words.