ask grandma j

Confession of a Negligent Blogger

2011-07-29T11:32:00.000-05:00

As we speak, Grandma J is ~~sipping champagne out of a glass slipper~~ hanging her head in blogger shame. She has neglected her best friends over the last week or maybe more.

But before you hate, just know that she reads your blogs using her Evelyn Woods speed reading skills..........

but alas her commenting skills aren't quite what they should be.

But....things have been hectic, and she can't wait to tell you all about the ~~loose~~ screws her dentist put ~~in her head~~ mouth, and the drugs that made her loopy.

Or, as Rita would say, who put their ~~shoes under her bed~~ duffel bag in her bedroom because that's where he they would be sleeping.......

And you will never believe who waited patiently for their Daddy to get up in the morning. All of a sudden Grandma J was chopped liver.

Yeah, can you feel the love?

xoxo Grandma J

Guess Who's Having a Birthday?

2011-07-28T13:11:00.000-05:00

It's me......ELISE!

Grandma J got me a Payless Shoe Source gift card. Can you guess what I got with it?

Yes, glittery Princess shoes for Kindergarten! I know they will look perfect with my uniform.

And this box of stuff like perfumes, scrunchies, jewelry and a bunch of quarters in a Hello Kitty coin purse. I slept with this box under my pillow.

I love being 5!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T00:57:00.000-05:00

xoxo Grandma J

Three Things.....the afternoon edition

2011-07-21T12:11:00.000-05:00

Has anyone noticed that Grandma J has become a late sleeper? How about the fact that it's been early to bed for her lately too? Well, that's unless her cell phone signals her turn for Words w/Friends.

Anyway, that's a tad off subject, but the truth is, this heat has Grandma J in a slump. A hot Texas slump with an equal part of humidity thrown in to keep ~~Grandma J's face supple and moist~~ the sweat glands working to full capacity.

Grandma J isn't the only one who's wiped out from this heat..........

all photos taken from indoors!

JJ loves to go over to the neighbor's back stoop to lay in the sun.

Day after day.......

Even when the day's heat zaps him of all his energy.

Grandma J is a tad smarter than JJ.

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday....mistaken identity

2011-07-20T00:14:00.004-05:00

That's right, it's a Medicare card!

xoxo Grandma J

As Seen On TV......consumer review

2011-07-18T11:52:00.004-05:00

Grandma J is always on the lookout for the next to die for product that will make her life more fun. Most of those products are under the consumer category known as, As Seen On TV.

So, Grandma J wasted no time jumping on that bandwagon

It's been a while since Grandma J saw a TV product that could compare to the Shamwow that she thought she couldn't live without.

More recently, Grandma J laughed at and showed some interest in The Bango, and inquired if either of her readers had bought it.

She did buy the Microfiber Cleaning Slippers for certain family members for Christmas one year.

Over the weekend, Grandma J decided she needed a break from watching Big Brother 13 life feeds for hours on end. So, she ~~updated several of her Words With Friends games~~ ventured out to buy her lastest As Seen On TV item that she just had to have.

The Easyfeet foot scrubber, massager. Since Grandma J is a barefoot contessa, she knew she'd la la love this product. She also knew that Michelle, her nail girl would be thrilled too.

This looks like a drive-thru car wash for feet.....look at all those bristles. And a cracked pumice stone for the heal.

Look at those suction cups on the bottom! This is the best part, because they will hold the Easyfeet steady while you work the scrubbing action.

So, looky hear! Grandma J is really working it....and almost went flying on her hind end. Seems those little suction cups wouldn't suction onto Grandma J's shower floor! You would think that once she put her weight on the Easyfoot, it would suction on to sand, or just about anything!

So....warning, if you buy this product, make sure it is steady and the suction cups work in your shower.

xoxo Grandma J

The Ball

2011-07-14T13:50:00.002-05:00

Have you ever been to a ball?

Not a prom, not a dance, but a BALL!

Grandma J never has, but used to dream about being a Princess and going to a Ball.

But these guys went to a real Ball.....

click on photo to enlarge

Yep, Grandma J's middle daughter the one who risked her life helping her move, and SMG John went to a Signal Command Ball.

But then again, don't they look like they belong at a Ball?

xoxoGrandma J

Wordless Wednesday...with music

2011-07-13T00:29:00.000-05:00

xoxo Grandma J

? Question Of The Day ?

2011-07-12T10:09:00.000-05:00

Who hasn't seen the Chick.fil.A cows on billboards and sign holders? You know silly ones and funny ones. Even ones offering free chicken like this one. Grandma J thinks they are cute and clever but she doesn't pay much attention to them like some people...

You know, like Elise who stops in for some chicken and a game of chess.

Last week Grandma J and JJ drove through Chick.fil.A and noticed this sign on the window......

Now, who doesn't think Grandma J and JJ could use some free Chick.fil.A? I mean think about it.
JJ and Grandma J are both white.....even though Grandma J is a weird shade of white paste. Just add some black spots to the mix and we're in! How easy is that?

Ok, so Grandma J checked out the Chick.fil.A and found out that yes in deed, Cow Appreciation Day was over.

Darn it, another disappointment in the land of milk and chicken that makes up Grandma J's world.

Off subject, ok quit rolling your eyes, did Grandma J ever tell you that one of the California Happy Cows was named after her or vice versa?

Seriously...and another one has her middle name. Who does that to their ~~cow~~ child?

By the way, California Happy Cows aren't for eating, they are cheese cows....that's why they are happy.

But....there is a sliver of light in this hour of darkness.......according to the Chick.fil.A's website, you can submit pictures via iPhone.

Here's the question.....should Grandma J and JJ dress like COWS and submit a photo via iPhone?

xoxo Grandma J

What Champions Are Made Of

2011-07-10T23:01:00.000-05:00

Just when you think you've had a rough week, someone else has a rougher one.

Like Grandma J's grandson Andrew.........

He loves to go to the beach and boogie board all day long, or until a humongous wave drops him on his face. But real boarders just smile and get back on their board.

After a quick trip to ~~his home away from home~~ the ER to check out a nose that was a tad painful, a game at the big A was just what the doctor ordered.

With the bestest seats to watch the Angels stomp the Tigers.

xoxo Grandma J

Refuse To Be Ignored

2011-07-08T23:35:00.001-05:00

You all know that JJ has a plethora of toys. Some stuffed, some unstuffed, some rubber, some hard plastic. All the squeakers get dismantled and most of the stuffing gets pulled out. He still goes through and plays with all of them every so often.

Last night he dragged out this old friend. It's a green frog looking monkey that looks like Homer Simpson. JJ acted like it was a long lost best buddy. He played with it all night.

JJ will play solo for a while, but then he decides he wants to play games that include Grandma J. She can only ignore him for so long.....

Once again....when the tail goes faster than ~~a speeding locomotive~~ the speed of light, you know he's getting ticked. That's in case you can't hear him giving me holy moly bologna.

If he were a human I would interpret this smack down as, "I said pick it up NOW...".

So because Grandma J is so good at interpreting dog speak, she did just that.

And of course JJ was right there to make sure she gave it right back. Then the cycle begins again.

xoxo Grandma J

Midnight Special....

2011-07-07T23:27:00.000-05:00

....with a viewer beware warning!!

Grandma J has had an extremely busy week. Hopefully she's the only person in the whole wide world who had to do the following all in one week.

Renew her lease with an increase in rent, an additional fee for water, a jump in the pet rent for JJ. This makes for a huge increase and they can break it up into different ridiculous categories but it's still one big increase. This also means that Grandma J has no problem letting JJ use all the facilities since he pays rent. One of his favorites? The billiard room.

Her car insurance and her renters’ policy came due.

Grandma J's Sirius satellite radio expired.....yeah $179 a year with no add ons.

The new dental insurance went into effect, with all kinds of faxes and scans being sent to the dentist and the insurer.

The laptop got fixed under warranty...thank you Baby Jesus!

But......the free trial of Microsoft Office 2010 expired, so Grandma J had to download the full version because she couldn't access some of the docs she had in Word until she did..... $149.

Big Brother 13 premiered, and Grandma J figured since she pretty much broke the bank she might as well buy the three month subscription for the 24/7 live feed.

It's time for the viewer warning...which means you should stop reading now if you have a weak stomach, or maybe even a full stomach. Grandma J suggests that you ask all children and pets to please leave the room as a precautionary measure. She will not be responsible for any psychological issues caused by the viewing of the following photos.

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Once in a while, when the moon becomes a mere sliver of a crescent, Grandma J will decide to give herself a facial.

JJ has a very hard time recognizing her.....and the image scares the beegeezus out of him. Can you tell by the look on his face? Are you starting to get a bit queezy yourself?

Then he takes a taste just to make sure it's his Grandma J. Gotta love this guy.

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-06T08:46:00.000-05:00

......with plenty to say

Grandma J has been AWOL in a sporatic sort of way lately. Her almost new laptop had a bad hard drive. Which ironically is the reason why she even bought a new laptop. Thankfully it was covered under warranty, but there was no compensation for lost blogging time. Grandma J did her best to utilize her iPhone to ~~play games~~ connect in a small way on Facebook and post a brief July 4th post that took her several hours to do via phone!

Speaking of the 4th of July.....it was nothing short of high level excitement around the Spa.

As you can see, JJ was over the moon.

Then Grandma J checked in on her granddaughter in Florida......

But the most fun was probably had by Elise......

Surprise, surprise!!   The bungee queen.

Now, let's talk about something really special, shall we?

Big Brother 13    premiers tomorrow night, and Grandma J is chomping at the bit for her favorite reality show to get rolling.    Is anyone else getting ~~palpitations or weird rashes~~ excited?

Grandma J is debating about getting the live feed, or Showtime so she can watch Big Brother After Dark.....BBAD. Last year she had the BBAD, but the house guests seem to just lay around and ~~have sex~~ drink late at night. It gets boring.

Now, the live feeds are 24/7 and supposedly there won't be as much blackouts this year.   Today is the last day to purchase the live feeds at a huge discount.    Of course then Grandma J can also get the live feed app for her iPhone too!   When will the fun end??

There will be four pairs from previous years returning. Grandma J is not a fan of returning house guests because she thinks they have a sense of false superiority over the novice players.

Most of them were either winners or completely obnoxious in a Jersey Shore sort of way. But then again it might be interesting to watch Rachel hanging out with Evil Dick while Daniele latches on to Brendon. hummmmmmm

Brendon & Rachel

~~Dr. Will & Mike Boogie~~

~~Jessie & Natalie~~

Evel Dick & Daniele Donato

Jeff & Jordan

Hayden & Enzo

Let Grandma J know if you will be watching BB13, and if you will be getting the live feeds. Oh dear, there goes the heart racing at the mere thought!

xoxo Grandma J

LIving the Life on the 4th of July

2011-07-04T08:12:00.000-05:00

Grandma J loves how excited JJ gets on holidays.....

It prompts her to make Rice Krispies treats.
Happy 4th of July.

A Close Encounter

2011-06-30T23:28:00.000-05:00

Don't let the title of this post fool you.   Grandma J hasn't had a close encounter in years, and you can interpret that anyway you want, and you'll probably be right.

Today she snuck into the clubhouse to use the computer and honestly, you would think she was there all day playing games.   People pace and then sneak up to try to see what Grandma J is doing.   She almost turned around and said BOO.

So, just to keep a certain blogger from thinking she bit the dust again, she wanted to touch base and let you all know that she should have her own laptop back by Tuesday.

For now, she will share a tidbit of news with you.......

Her doctor has moved his office closer to where she lives, and Grandma J couldn't be happier.

She shot this picture of the inside of his office without his permission. Well, she had his permission but she told him she never blogs about him and he believed her!

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday....

2011-06-29T09:27:00.002-05:00

With a whole lot to say........

Grandma J has been busy with a plethora of things on her plate. Things to do with lemons, and laptops, which can be considered one and the same.

She wants to take the time to share a couple of birthdays with you via one of the computers available at the Spa. It doesn't matter that there are people pacing, waiting to use the same computer that Grandma J is using. It doesn't matter that they think updating a blog is trivial because we all know that they are full of prunes! Does anyone else say that anymore.....FULL OF PRUNES?

Grandma J's youngest daughter turned 40 yesterday! Sweet Kelly is still a baby in her mom's eyes. She lives in Denver and is celebrating with her boys husband and two boys.

It's a bittersweet day when you realize all four of your children are over forty, with a couple of them chomping at the bit to join AARP. Not that Grandma J ever joined.

The other birthday is Ry Ry....well that's what Grandma J calls him. He's one of her CA grandsons, and this is one of his cool pictures he took of himself.

This is Ry Ry's new kitty named Tiger! Happy Birthday, Ry Ry! Tiger is cute and the best gift ever.

xoxo Grandma J

Bad Teacher....the review

2011-06-25T12:18:00.000-05:00

Just have to say, It's really bad when Grandma J goes to a Friday matinee, and then doesn't do a review until the next day. Just saying. But, it's the next day and she's had her coffee, donuts ~~and nap~~.....

Before arriving at the theatre, Grandma J stops off to get some snacks and lunch, which fits neatly in her purse.....

As much as she la la loves Cameron Diaz, and as much as she thinks she's super funny, Grandma J wasn't over the moon about Bad Teacher. Yes it was funny......but it was too raunchy like Bad Santa-ish.

Elizabeth starts out as a so-so teacher with a rich fiance' and can't wait to be a lady of leisure. He ends up dumping her, with high marks going to his mother for this decision. Elizabeth is totally ticked that she's lost her meal ticket, and her luxury living accommodations, and has to continue teaching....

Yes the cast was full of so many of Grandma J's favorite funny people......and she laughed like a hyena. "..laughed like a hyena", is something Jack used to say. But just know, Jack laughed like a hyena every time he saw a Jerry Lewis movie, or Soupy Sales.

Back to the review...

Cameron Diaz as Elizabeth Halsey, is a school teacher who doesn’t bother to learn her kids names and spends class time showing them movies, and guzzling from airline-size bottles of liquor she keeps hidden in a false bottom of a desk drawer.

Teachers don't teach because the are looking for a rich husband. And teachers don't rip off their school to pay for a boob job. And, teachers don't utter the F bomb in the classroom, ~~unless they are driven to do it~~ for no good reason.

All in all, Grandma J did like the movie in a crappy sort of way. That being said, she doesn't like the idea that every teenager in town was in the theatre, and it's even more astonishing that they were up and out of the house at 11:00 A.M. Plus....can you just imagine being a teacher and going to a matinee on a Friday and running into ~~Grandma J~~ some of your students?

So, because the movie was funny, and she would have enjoyed it more if there weren't so many kids in the theatre, Grandma J gives Bad Teacher......

Three out of five stars.

xoxo Grandma J

Back By Popular Demand

2011-06-24T00:02:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow is Friday, and you might remember that Grandma J used to go see a matinee every Friday for three weeks in a row.

Lately there haven't been too many movies that Grandma J wanted to review on her blog because she has a zillion grandkids, and she tries to stay within the family friendly perimeters of PG movies.

For instance, a couple of weeks ago she went to see Hangover 2, and if she had given a review on her blog, and her grandkids saw it, ~~they would probably correct her~~ she would have gotten in trouble.

This Friday she is going to throw caution to the wind and go see ..........

Grandma J saw the trailer for Bad Teacher when she was in the theatre to see Hangover 2. It looks a little racey, but come on, if Grandma J looked like Cameron Diaz there's no telling what she'd do. Ok, that's just a hypothetical comparison or something similar.

Besides, Grandma J really likes Cameron Diaz's carwashing and acting abilities, and she thinks she's funny.

So, check back later in the day for the review. If you happen to go see it too, be sure and share your take on it with Grandma J.

xoxo Grandma J

Accidental Interruption

2011-06-23T00:04:00.002-05:00

I was feeling blah, so I bought some flowers for myself.

Then I heard my phone summon me for a new text message.....

Maybe company's coming over.....

Maybe it's an invite, or an old friend ......

Or maybe it's none of the above.

Back to the flowers.

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

When zipping through the town of Shiner, TX Grandma J came across this sign.

xoxo Grandma J

Bang Bangs

2011-06-21T00:21:00.000-05:00

Lately some bloggers have been posting childhood photos. Most are pretty cute, and in retrospect, even a tad bit comical.

Grandma J shared this photo of her First Holy Communion a while back. She focused on the home permanent, and the humongous curl in the middle of her forehead. It was not much of a fashion statement by her mother, Rita, but rather the only option besides cutting Grandma J's hair into bangs.

That's right.....bangs.

The curse of the chopped crooked bangs. Bangs cut with the precision you can only get using pinking shears or hedge trimmers.

By fifth grade, Grandma J's worse nightmare came to fruition! The dreaded bangs. The ones that half the mothers in America insisted that their daughters sported.

But come on! Who does this to a baby? Seriously? A six month old Grandma J had her hair whacked off to the point of stubs, and then had her picture professionally taken.

Anyone else want to share their bang pictures?

xoxo Grandma J

The Other Good News is...

2011-06-20T09:09:00.001-05:00

Actually it's the real good news......

the best good news.........

Andrew saw his urologist last week to find some resolve about his terrible pain that had him in the ER ~~almost daily~~ too many times, and it wasn't kidney stones.

According to his dad, this is what they discovered:

"Doctor feels one of his chemos, cytoxan, damaged his bladder causing hemorrhagic cystitis - a bleeding condition that is worsened when he does not hydrate enough. His urine gets particulates that act like sandpaper causing bladder irritation and pain. Hopefully hydrating him more will help. Thank you friends for all the prayers, emails, notes and concern over the last week or so!"

So, Andrew has to drink, drink, drink and stay hydrated. Hopefully this will help prevent the pain.

Besides that, he has to get some more Cub Scout camping trips under his belt with his dad.

Who wouldn't want to be at their campsite when dad and Andrew make cinnamon french toast, bacon and hot chocolate for breakfast. Are scouts allowed to use butane stoves? Aren't they supposed to rub two sticks together and cook over a fire?

Catching frogs on the endangered species list is OK as long as you are a certified Cub Scout, and you release it back into the wild after the photo shoot!

xoxo Grandma J

Remembering My Dad

2011-06-18T23:06:00.002-05:00

Grandma J's father died in his early 50's. He was a smart but quiet man. He was funny when you least expected it. He loved his family.

Like so many fathers, he took most of the pictures that end up on the family albums, so there are few of him to enjoy.

Grandma J has his Army picture.....somewhere. But, she wants to share this worn and tattered one with you, because this is how she remembers him the most. Relaxing at the beach. The best memories ever.

click on photo to enlarge

This particular one was taken at Hampton Beach, New Hampshire in the early fifties. When they still lived in Rhode Island, Grandma J's family spent their vacations there every summer. Grandma J's uncle owned several bungalow cottages and let them have one for a couple of weeks every year. She remembers all the fun times with her cousins on the boardwalk at night.

Grandma J loves the old ice truck in the background, and her dad's Sperry Topsiders with his cigarettes tucked inside.

Is it any wonder Grandma J's father moved his family to a beach side community when they moved to CA?

xoxo Grandma J

The Color Purple

2011-06-18T00:01:00.002-05:00

It's Saturday and the temperature is supposed to be reach 104 degrees today. Yesterday was supposed to be 102 but ended up being 105 degrees.

Central Texas is in the middle of a severe drought. No rain to speak of in months. Well, one good downpour that flooded my den back in May, but that lasted an hour or so...no much good for the lawn or plants. I'm not complaining, just wanting to see some color blossoming.

Back in Orange County CA the Jacarandas are blooming. I always thought they were so beautiful, but never gave them much thought. They were always there, and bloomed like crazy every year. I haven't seen any in Texas, but then it's a big state you know!

Admittedly, there were times Grandma J considered them a nuisance because they could be messy when the blossoms fell causing you to take time to sweep them up.

The were beautiful by a pool and so pretty to look up at against the blue sky.

Grandma J thought everyone had Jacaranda trees. She misses them. Do you have Jacaranda trees in your neck of the woods?

All photos are from the June 17th edition of the Orange County Register. I borrowed them without permission. Amen

xoxo Grandma J

The Great Protector

2011-06-17T00:02:00.000-05:00

Despite the fact that JJ could be considered spoiled by some, and sometimes a bit of a mama's boy, he still thinks of himself as the man of the house.

Seriously, Grandma J had nothing to do with instilling that image in his mind. It's genetic. He's half Mexican Chihuahua, and has that inherent macho mentality.

Yesterday, after Grandma J picked JJ up from Pouncing Paws Daycare, and after their daily romp through the carwash, the arrived home just in time to discover a strange object which could have easily been an evil alien, out in front of their bungalow at the Spa.

JJ bravely walked right up to it, and was about to flex his muscles when the strange object started to spin out of control.....scaring the bee.geez.us out of JJ. So much for Macho Man.

xoxo Grandma J

Don't Mess With My Stuff

2011-06-16T01:13:00.000-05:00

It's his.....and it's his favorite, at least for today, and maybe tomorrow.

Even if he has chewed off all the pointy ends, and dismantled the squeaker.....it's still his, and it's his favorite toy.

It doesn't matter that the whole dang top is just about gone, and the tips have all been eaten, and did I mention that the squeaker has been dismantled? It's still his....and he wants it back NOW!

So, Grandma J tells the J-Man that his toy is in his toy box. He actually doesn't have a toy box, but he used to, so it's still a term Grandma J uses for the place all his toys are located.

Actually, they are piled up on her antique scale and JJ goes through them every day, as if he's counting them. His favorite changes from time to time. He's been known to find something very old and decrepit in that pile and treat it like it's a long lost friend.

But today, it's his yellow rubber cone head toy that he wants. And he can't find it, and he knows I had it....and he's mad as H.E.double toothpicks.

Grandma J put it back in the heap, but she accidentally buried it in the back. JJ hunts, and he grunts while he hunts.

He's getting closer....and the toys are all scattered about....but he means business, and he's not a quitter. He wants his toy.

He finally gets it. He checks it out......

Before Grandma J can say, "yeah JJ", he darts off lickety split! Does anyone else say lickety split? I didn't think so. JJ never looks back, never pauses, not even for a brief second.

He retreats to Grandma J's bed. His domain when the couch gets boring or when he wants alone time with his toy. His favorite toy, for now.

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday...it's a sign

2011-06-15T08:53:00.000-05:00

xoxo Grandma J

Movin' On Up

2011-06-14T00:01:00.002-05:00

You all know Elise, aka Little One.
Who knows how to smile BIG on command.

Who gets all gussied up for a day on the town. To be more specific, a day shopping at Target.

The diva who is so comforable in her own skin, she sees nothing wrong with having breakfast at McDonald's in her Hello Kitty jammies. Yes, she said she brushed her hair.

The princess who not only likes her buns powdered, but likes her little piggies powdered too.

Well, she's no longer that little preschooler who spent the last three years as a Teddy, Penguin and an Owl....

She's moving on up....

To kindergarten!!! Congratulations, Elise!

Grandparent's Day is going to pretty special for Grandma J this coming fall.

xoxo Grandma J

Driving Me Crazy

2011-06-13T00:01:00.010-05:00

Does everyone remember way back in time when Grandma J ~~was still a productive member of society~~ went on a rant about a commercial that drove her up a wall?

This one from Stanley Steemer about Toby the dog, showing everyone his new trick. The commercial was clever and funny, but the shrieking scream from Toby's human mommy was annoying.

Well, the latest commercial that drives Grandma J crazy it the one from Travelocity.......

Where the husband tells his wife she looks like a beach angel, causing her to scream at the top of her lungs.

People....its the scream that drives Grandma J crazy. Just like it was the woman screaming at poor Toby.
Is there a commercial that drives YOU up a wall? Besides the Colon Lady that is.

Windows of Opportunities

2011-06-11T09:14:00.000-05:00

Summer is alive and well in Central Texas. What that means in layman's terms, I love when people say that....layman's terms. Kind of makes them sound like an expert on whatever subject they are talking about. You know, bringing it down to a level that ordinary people can relate to.

So, when Grandma J refers to Central Texas, and she does in almost every post, she means smack dab in the middle of the State.

This morning, when Grandma J started out on her Saturday rounds, it was a tad cooler than it usually is at that hour.

She took advantage of this fifteen minutes of opportunity, before the heat makes it impossible, to open her sun roof....which is currently referred to as a moon roof. When did they change the name?

xoxo Grandma J

Saying Goodnight in Texas

2011-06-10T00:03:00.001-05:00

Honestly, Grandma J hasn't lived in Texas that long.....actually it's been four years since she left the OC to live smack dab in the middle of Texas.

She has blogged about how over the top Texans are about everything Texas. It's not to dis the Great State of Texas, and yes we capitalize that, it's just that no other state gets so crazy about it's shape or size or...well they just don't go crazy.

My Connecticut friend was served this awesome waffle when she got stranded in Texas recently. You will never find a waffle shaped like Arkansas or Rhode Island.

Eons ago, when Grandma J was a newbie in Texas, she was shocked to see so much Texas stuff at Bed Bath and Beyond. Like this complete bed ensemble.

She has always been content with average everyday bed linens. Seriously it's just a bed!!

Just recently Grandma J was in Bed Bath and Beyond looking for some candles and other miscellaneous doodads, when she happened to circle the corner into the bedding department.

Whoa Nelly! Was there a whole lot of Texas going on......

Kinda of blah, but still Texas..ish

This would be perfect at Rawhide Ranch....it looks like real cowhide, and it feels like suede. Of course Grandma J has never seen real cowhide, so she made that part up.

If she had to go Texan, this one would be it. But really? Can you fathom a national chain having four bedding themes for your state?

xoxo Grandma J

Dog Reigns at Wedding

2011-06-09T07:56:00.000-05:00

Grandma J interrupts her blog to bring you this short video about a dog and his day, or actually it's about a dog at someone else's day....their wedding day. She knows this could never happen with JJ.

or maybe it's Dog Rains on Wedding Day

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-08T00:04:00.001-05:00

Totally wordless, for once!

xoxo Grandma J

Summer 'Do'

2011-06-07T00:05:00.003-05:00

JJ likes his hair longer and scruffy. Grandma J can't figure out if he's trying to be macho dog, you know, a real honest to goodness dogs dog.

But, in reality, it's summer in Central Texas. Today the temperature broke 100 degrees. Grandma J decided to get JJ's locks snipped. It was for his own good. And to be honest? When JJ goes to Daycare, they have a few doggie pools, and it just makes it easier to swim with short hair. Grandma J doesn't know why she shared that tidbit with you because JJ is afraid of water.

So, when she picks up JJ from his afternoon grooming, he is ticked.....he won't look at her. He's seething!

JJ's not a stupid dog. He knows he has the upper hand, and as soon as they get home, he let's Grandma J know that she owes him.

He stood his ground in front of the cupboard where his treats are kept.....and howled. Just so you know, the picture is only blurry where JJ's tail and snoot are going a mile a minute.

Then he snatched his new toy that he always gets after grooming to soothe his damaged image, and had a chewing session.

Grandma J did finally get a picture of JJ to show his AZ family that he was ready for summer and not getting fat. This is his summer look, except there is no blue Mohawk like last year.

xoxo Grandma J

Bonding

2011-06-06T00:09:00.002-05:00

Andrew's dad likes to share a variety of exciting and challenging sports type things with him

The latest adventure required special gear and protective clothing.

They geared up, and off they went with the other paintball warriors for a day of fun.

It was another father son memory for the books.

*Thank you for all the prayers for Andrew. He has an appointment with a urologist on the 15th. Praying for some answers.

xoxo Grandma J

Summer coolness

2011-06-04T23:12:00.000-05:00

Here we go, it's only the beginning of June and we're beyond the beginning of summer in Central Texas. It's also beyond monthly electric bills under $100 dollars.

And as the first week of June wraps up it looks like it's getting even hotter. Grandma J has no doubts that the triple digit days are not far away.

Grandma J loves Aquafina water. Yes it's bottled and no Grandma J doesn't refill the bottles with tap water. And for those who think Grandma J is not only un-green, here's another tidbit that will ~~shake you from that tree you're hugging~~ convince you that she's off her rocker....

JJ drinks Aquafina too.

Grandma J didn't mean to get off on environmental issues...she wants to tell you about a product she's fallen in love with....

It's MiO, and she pronounces it my.o. It's about the coolest way to flavor your water without any calories or using messy powders.

It comes in this cute little container with a pop open type top. It dispenses in measured squirts into your water.

Just a squirt or two and that's it! Watching the artificial flavoring and color float through the water gives Grandma J flashbacks to her lava lamp days.

Yeah, this is the picture you've all been waiting for....
But really, Grandma J loves MiO, and it comes in a plethora of flavors including sweet tea, and maybe peach tea.

Have you tried MiO? How are you staying cool in this premature heat wave?

xoxo Grandma J

resilient

2011-06-03T00:01:00.011-05:00

–adjective

1. springing back; rebounding.

2. returning to original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched.

3. recovering readily from illness, adversity, or the like; buoyant.

When Grandma J sees the word resilient, she thinks of Andrew.

After getting home from the ER in the wee hours of the morning, Andrew could have stayed home from school. But even though he was still in pain, there was a project due that he was so proud of.

It's a California relief map. It's a baked cookie with edible topography.....YUM!

Then, this afternoon, he joined his sisters in delivering the prayer blankets they made to CHOC.

Grandma J wants to thank you for all the prayers for Andrew. It really warms her heart.

xoxo Grandma J

** Late Night Update** Guess where Andrew's headed? It's not Disneyland.

deja Jack...from the post office

2011-06-02T00:03:00.000-05:00

Do you remember Jack, the postal clerk at Grandma J's post office?

Grandma J likes the way Jack weighs her packages

Because she has so much fun looking at all his tattoos

Well, look who Grandma J saw talking on his cell phone yesterday? Thank goodness he parked to talk.

**this is the picture no one could see yesterday. It was animated and Grandma J thought it was just swell the way the cows where spilling paint everywhere.

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday, with a real picture

2011-06-01T12:29:00.000-05:00

After spending last night in the ER.....it's not kidney stones.

To quote his dad:

Ultrasound negative. Dr. recommends a cytoscopy, to check for structural issue or other blockage in bladder. This will be done by urology later this week so Andrew is heading home.

Yes, Andrew currently needs prayers.

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-01T00:03:00.012-05:00

xoxo You Know Moo!

Tuesday Trivia

2011-05-31T00:04:00.001-05:00

Grandma J is the mother of both sexes, and has always been aware of the different way a boy acts compared to a girl in the same venue.

Looks like nothing has changed over the years.

Beauty at Chapel.........

Andrew at Chapel

xoxo Grandma J

Lest We Forget

2011-05-30T00:01:00.001-05:00

Memorial Day we honor those who have fought for our freedom, some paying the ultimate price.

Some currently serve, like SMG John, and we pray for their safety every day of the year. It's beyond amazing that everyone serving today volunteered to serve their country.

And finally, a message from your friend JJ

xoxo Grandma J

The Ranch Finale

2011-05-29T00:03:00.001-05:00

Or Beauty and The Beast

When we last visited Beauty at Rawhide Ranch, she was just settling in to her first day of ~~ice cream~~ ranch life, and being a full time cowgirl.

There were horseback riding jaunts down the dusty trail on her horse Foxy.

But.....there were also plenty of ranch chores to learn and perform.

Like feeding the ponys........

And then taking them for a walk, just like Grandma J walks JJ.

Learning how to vault and do other tricks in preparation for the Big Rodeo

All kinds of work goes into being a Rodeo Star

Beauty practices for the Big Rodeo on a real horse.

They say practice makes perfect....

TADA!!!

Beauty's hard work paid off with a second place ribbon!! That's my cowgirl!!

xoxox Grandma J

Mason the Miracle Dog

2011-05-28T00:03:00.003-05:00

Whenever a storm devastates a city or state, there always emerges a dog story.
Either a dog saves someone, stays with someone until help arrives, or does some other miraculous deed.

This is Mason who not only survived a tornado in Alabama, but he crawled back to his owner's home with two broken legs. I heart Mason.

xoxo Grandma J

RAWHIDE RANCH, starring Beauty

2011-05-27T00:03:00.001-05:00

Every year, the second graders at the school where Grandma J's grandkids go, get an opportunity to go to a real live ranch for four days. It's an authentic ranch in the rural mountains in Bonsall CA.

Students start hyperventilating about going to Rawhide Ranch from their first day of kindergarten. It's a long road to haul, waiting for second grade, and then, that day in May when you show up at school with your ranch gear, and board the bus.

Beauty's brother has been to Rawhide ranch, and she thought the day would never come.
There was a whole plethora of things to do, things to buy.....so many preparations.

For Beauty, it all starts with the boots. She really wanted the white with pink trim, but the only pair in her size that weren't already scuffed were the pink ones. She could live with that because......

There was a matching hat in the works. Grandma J has no idea what the problem was, but having been in second grade once herself, she can relate to an occasional fashion meltdown. Actually, just yesterday Grandma J had one when the drawstring on her pajama jeans broke.

Once she got to school, and was able to hang out with her BFFs, she seemed much happier.

And.....by the time they all got together for a group shot, Beauty was flaunting them pink boots all over the place.

Once they arrived, this happened. Grandma J doesn't have any additional info related to this picture so you get to use your vivid imagination!

Here's Beauty kicking it up big time in the corral. Grandma J made that *kicking it up* part up because she has no idea what Beauty is doing besides looking cute with them pink boots!

Grandma J was so proud of all the ranch type things Beauty learned in her first day....like zapping bugs. And, how cool that she has an upper bunk?

In case you were wondering, Rawhide Ranch is a real honest to goodness working ranch. Flaunt those pink boots, Beauty....you go girl.

When the morning chores are done, it's coffee break time!

There's nothing like a nice camp fire at the end of a long day working on the Ranch.

xoxox Grandma J

The Arnold Kiddy Chronicles

2011-05-26T00:05:00.000-05:00

We've all had it up to here Grandma J puts her hand up to her eyes with Arnold and his cheating heart. But more and more stories of infidelity and love children keep surfacing.

The question being asked by dozens of children across the universe is, Whose my daddy?

According to the Daily Mail, there's a plethora of women coming out of the woodwork.

Mildred Baena isn't the only one who betrayed Maria's trust with Arnold. There is plenty of documentation coming down the pike.

Do you know anyone besides Barney, Mr. Greenjeans, and the Chick.fil.a Cow who spends more time with kids climbing all over him than Arnold?

It wasn't all bedtime stories and ice cream. After all, Arnold was appointed to President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports, and traveled to schools to partake in hula hoop competitions.

Luckily for Arnold, half of the world is fixated on the Casey Anthony trial on HLN, and the other halve could care less.

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday....

2011-05-25T00:08:00.004-05:00

.....Don't mess with Texas

xoxo Grandma J

Tuesday's Trivia

2011-05-24T00:36:00.001-05:00

Well, it's that time AGAIN.

Time when ABC picks a loser from the last season of The Bachelor............

..... to become the new and improved Bachelorette.

That would be Ashley H. from last year. She was a blonde then. You remember, she was on the second season with Brad who got to be The Bachelor twice! Ashley is in the final phase of dental school. She attends when she isn't living in a mansion along the Southern California coast.

So, ABC spent some time sprucing up Miss Ashley. New hair color and styling, and probably some yoga classes and spanks.

Grandma J was soooo excited. She got all prepared for the two hour premier. She took an early shower, got in her baby doll pajamas, then made nachos for herself .

When the show started, Chris Harrison was talking to Ashley, and Grandma J couldn't believe what she was seeing. She grabbed her cell phone and started snapping pictures of Ashley to catch what she was seeing with her naked eyes.

Ashley's teeth! Did anyone else notice? her two front teeth were much whiter than the rest of them.

It's hard to see in these photos, but it was very obvious, and hard to catch with the cell phone camera. Grandma J's other cheap camera picks up lines on pictures taken from the TV. Basically she was embarrassed for Ashley....especially since she's an almost dentist.

Now, if only ABC would have left her teeth alone!

Is anyone else watching? Can you hardly wait to see what the guy in the mask looks like? And the big question.....Do you think Ashley H. will find true love?

* Praying for all the folks in Joplin, MO. Most of that city is gone....totally gone. So sad.

xoxo Grandma J

Living on the River

2011-05-23T00:09:00.001-05:00

So many people were devastated by the ravaging floods along the Mississippi River. Some had the foresight and the means to do what they had to do to protect their property.

Like building their very own levy

Becoming an island unto themselves

Protecting their property from total destruction

Hopefully with a boat on site to shuttle the kids to school, go to work, and to get to town and back for daily essentials.

*My heartfelt prayers go out to the people of Joplin Missouri. Terrible devastation.

xoxo Grandma J

The day after the Rapture

2011-05-22T00:02:00.001-05:00

xoxo Grandma J.....I'm still here!

Get Your $1.00 Flip Flops

2011-05-20T21:11:00.000-05:00

Before the impending rapture hits!

That's right it's the Old Navy annual flip flop dollar days sale this Saturday....May 21st.

Here is their really cute Flip Flop Video. That's how I'm gonna wear my flip flops from now on!

If you miss out on Old Navy's sale, you can always go to Payless Shoe Source for same hot hot fun flip flops.

Here's a printable coupon just for you. Ckick on it to enlarge.

xoxo Grandma J

More Wow for your Bow

2011-05-20T09:20:00.000-05:00

Grandma J would love to take JJ and Phillip Johnny Bob on a really cool vacation.

They love going on nature type adventures. You know, like hanging out the window on car rides, looking for cows, birds and squirrels along the way.

So Grandma J has been thinking about taking them on a theme vacation just for them. She opened up the idea to both JJ and Phillip Johnny Bob last week. Now that's all they talk about.

Phil was browsing through some travel brochures and came up with a few really cool vacation spots. Of course nothing tropical that Grandma J would love.

Nothing with water since JJ have adverse reactions to getting wet.

But then again, Phillip Johnny Bob...la la loves a nice relaxing vacation with plenty of water. Virginia, with good friends is his favorite spot.

And of course every time Grandma J's backyard floods....out goes PBJ!!

Group trips are out of the question because Grandma J almost had a heart attach the last time JJ took a bus trip with the daycare bunch.

Then we found out about this place.......

The place is called Dog Bark Park Inn Bed & Breakfast (doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue) and it’s located in Cottonwood, Idaho.

That's right! It's a perfect place for JJ and PBJ to go on vacation. Lots of grass to romp in. A nice balcony to use as a look-out for birds and things.

Nice ear awnings......

Loads of amenities.

Theme bedrooms!

Grandma J has never been to Idaho. This could be a fun vacation.....

xoxo Grandma J

Gadgets for me...or you

2011-05-19T08:28:00.000-05:00

Grandma J considers herself a gadget meister when it comes to kitchen wizardry. Take for example the microwave....yep, she has one. Then there's the automatic coffeemaker....ditto on that one. A hand mixer? Got it!

So is anyone surprised when she tells you she's been looking for something new and exciting to spice up her kitchen?

That's when the kitchen gods created the Yonana! This crazy unique gadget turns overly ripe, frozen bananas into ice cream!! Can you say Yo-yo yummy?

Do you have a Yonana? Would you cough up $50 for one? Should Grandma J?

Or, maybe Grandma J could try out for Yonana mascot?

Perhaps she should go for something a bit simpler to help her with her text messaging and on her iPhone.

Something really cute like the Awethumb. OK, it's not electronic, but it looks awethumb! Grandma J won't have to worry about misspelled words on Word with Friends (jannie) anymore.

Last but not least.....OK, I heard all those sighs of relieve, humor me!

It's the sauna pants. AND just so you know, Grandma J does not recommend these for any reason....and there are many.

xoxox Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday ................ musical edition

2011-05-18T00:01:00.004-05:00

This is The Four Preps singing 26 Miles (Santa Catalina). It was a big hit in Southern California and it's the song that lives on with those of us who grew up along the So CA coast, and traveling to the Island on a regular basis. Today, you can still hear it on the Island at night. Someone is always requesting it in one of the open air clubs.

Yeah, this is my Wordless Wednesday!

xoxo Grandma J

Survivor...Island Princess Style

2011-05-17T09:54:00.004-05:00

As you recall, last Friday Grandma J fled ~~The Great Flood of 2011~~ town, heading down the highway to seek refuge along the muddy Red River in Louisiana.

Well, while she was ~~living it up at the blackjack tables~~ drowning her sorrows, her granddaughter, Beauty, whose official Indian Princess name is Little Dancing Dolphin was having a similar water type weekend with her dad, whose official Indian Princess Dad's name is Big Laughing Shark.

Little Dancing Dolphin and the rest of the tribe, headed 26 miles across the sea to the island called Santa Catalina, or just Catalina for short.

The back side of the Island is where all the camps are, and the place where Little Dancing Dolphin's Indian Princess Tribe travels for their annual Survivor Camp. OK, so Grandma J made that part up. She knows there has to be an official name for this excursion, and she thinks Survivor Camp fits the bill.

So, while Big Laughing Shark and the other dads do whatever Indian Princess Dads do, the Princesses fill their three days with exciting adventures........

Like befriending snakes.....

And enjoying some quality time with sharks!!

You can't be a well rounded Indian Princess if you aren't a good markswoman. Little Dancing Dolphin hit her mark!

So, I suppose you wonder how Big Laughing Shark and the other dads passed away the weekend? Well, of course they had some adult competitions, and Little Dancing Dolphin was so proud of Big Laughing Shark because he won the most important competition all weekend...

Are you ready for this?

Can you tell Grandma J is overwhelmed with pride for Big Laughing Shark?

That's right....As part of the initiation for being next year's Indian Princess Chief or now PC Circle Navigator is the traditional belly flop competition. Big Laughing Shark won!

xoxo Grandma J

Rolling on the River....

2011-05-15T11:57:00.001-05:00

....after the great flood

OK, so Grandma J's flood wasn't anywhere near the flood that has devastated so many along the Mississippi River. Her flood was limited to three rooms in an apartment in Central Texas.

Not wanting to ~~help~~ get in the way of the clean-up process, she packed her bag, then packed up JJ's stuff and headed out of town. She dropped JJ off at his daycare provider's for a three day weekend stay.

Three nights in a hotel room with three TVs, one spa tub, free Internet, ~~500 slot machines~~, and a view of the Muddy Red River was the perfect fix.

beautiful at sunset

and in 1970 according to iphones instagram application.

xoxo Grandma J

When It Rains in Texas

2011-05-14T13:24:00.000-05:00

Grandma J spent all afternoon ~~watching Ellen and Dr. Oz~~ cleaning like the dickens....

paying special attention to her floors.

Because she was expecting some special friends. This is a big deal because Grandma J lives in a community in Central Texas that is off the beaten path that very few friends even know how to find because it's well.....off the beaten path.

Anyway, it started to rain for the first time this year, and except for the fact that Grandma J's friends would be traveling the dusty trail also known as I35, she was thankful for the end of a long drought and brown grass.

Withing five minutes into the torrential downpour this happened.

This happened.......Grandma J's not so shinny, but clean floors became victim to the great flood of 2012 at the Spa. So, she put a crappy make-shift table in the corner for light.

And, she shoved all her furniture into one corner to minimize the damage to her own personal stuff.

Then her friends arrived!

My BFF Baylor Chica, Rachel, aka Snow White. It was so nice to see her! She brought a close friend of hers for Grandma J to ~~hug~~ meet.

That would be James! As you can see, Grandma J was ~~all giddy~~ so happy to see them, and wished them both a wonderful summer back home with their families. And, if you notice in the above photo, wearing black opposed to a top that looks like it's splattered with love bugs, makes a person look so much slimmer!

The visit was short....but wonderful. Can't wait for them to get back to Baylor.

xoxo Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-11T07:37:00.001-05:00

Borrowed from this site.

xoxoGrandma J

True Confessions

2011-05-10T01:31:00.000-05:00

Grandma J knows that today should be her Tuesday Trivia post, but something has been on her mind for at least three days. That would be a lifetime and a half for love bugs.

Anyway, Grandma J was on her way to see a chick flick Friday Matinee, just like she promised she would.

But then she got sidetracked by an early preview of a garage sale. She wondered around with the blessing of the homeowner for what was called an early preview. She found some really good stuff, and was already to buy them when she was informed that early preview meant just that. No sales until the next day.

Well, it was too late to go to a matinee, and she had to pick up JJ at doggie daycare.

So, Saturday instead of going to the garage sale, she decided to spill the beans.

Her penance was to be sure and get to a matinee ASAP!

xoxo Grandma J

The Rita Chronicles

2011-05-08T10:37:00.001-05:00

It's Mothers Day, and to celebrate with all of you, Grandma J wants to share her Mother's Day Post from Mothers Day 2009. The Rita Chronicles. Some of you probably remember some of the memories I've shared, but I'd like to reminisce because Mother's Day without Rita is like apple pie without ice cream, or lawns without sprinklers.

So, please take a few moments to walk down memory lane with me as I remember some of my fondest memories of Rita. And, please let me know which episode you liked the best....or not.

The Rita Chronicles here.

Happy Mothers Day to you, and you , and especially you!

XOXO Grandma J

¿Qué? Fue ayer?

2011-05-06T00:05:00.001-05:00

Just so you know, Grandma J didn't really forget what day yesterday was. It's just that she only knows it's a special day if her phone tells her it is. When you retire, and move to the middle of nowhere, you only have to keep track of the things you want to, like birthdays, Christmas, and tax day.

So, let's just pretend that Grandma J partied like it was ~~the 4th of July~~ Cinco de Mayo, ole!

She explained to JJ that is wasn't Mexico's Independence Day, but the day Mexican soldiers beat the tar out of the French at Puebla, Mexico on May 5, 1862.

Of course this bit of news made JJ very happy because he's half Mexican Chuhuaha.

And of course his day care friend Sofia is French.....

So, now that we have that out of the way, Grandma J is going to see a matinee. The review will follow, of course.

XOXO Grandma J

facebook, we need to talk

2011-05-05T00:05:00.001-05:00

First of all you need to know that Grandma J's needs and wants are ~~beyond your control~~ simple. By simple, she only goes on facebook for two reasons.

1. She likes to ~~spy on~~ stay in touch with her kids, grandkids and close personal friends.

2, She likes to play Bejeweled Blitz. Actually she is addicted to Bejeweled Blitz. She has tried her darnedest to limit her play time....until you tempted her to download the game on her iPhone too.

So fine, she is resolved to accept her addiction but then you start messing with her.

For instance, today she was disappointed to find Bejewel Blitz undergoing maintenance.

You were kind enough to suggest she try one of your other games. Grandma J was tempted to turn off the computer but then she thought maybe she'd try Zuma Blitz because the word Blitz was pulling her in because that's how addicts are.

So Grandma J did it....she clicked on the Zuma Blitz button. It's called a button, right?

This is what she got!! Really facebook, really?

XOXO Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday ................ recycle edition

2011-05-04T00:01:00.003-05:00

Brought to you by The People of Walmart

XOXO Grandma J

Tuesday Trivia

2011-05-03T00:01:00.001-05:00

You know it's been a good week.......

When Naturalist Beauty went on a father-daughter hike, and saw two three week old Red Tailed Hawk chicks. Ten minutes later she saw a wild Bobcat........

......and ends up scoring a Red Tailed Hawk egg.

Going to a taping of Wizards of Waverly Place and getting to hang out with your new BFF.....

.....Selena Gomez. Can you guess who's wearing WWP boots and other accessories?
It's the same girl who is over the moon.

But then again, Grandma J had a little excitement of her own this past weekend........

> > > > >

> > > > >

XOXO Grandma J

From Hightops to Pom Poms and Stilettos

2011-05-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

My beautiful, athletic granddaughter.....

Loved basketball, but .......

She quit shooting hoops.

And running track, and winning metals galore....

Was not uncommon when she lived in Texas.

But last summer the family up and moved to Arizona. All of a sudden, like almost overnight, but not quite......

She traded in her athletic gear for varsity cheer leading. The cool part is, it's at her Dad's Alma Mater in AZ. JJ and I can hardly wait to visit and go to the homecoming game again this year and watch her cheer.

But......tonight it's all about the dress and the stilettos......

It's prom night.

And she's going with the girls.

XOXO Grandma J

While we're still on the subject.......

2011-04-30T00:05:00.001-05:00

.....what the heck does the Queen carry in that purse?

Like today....she carried this cute number to her grandson's wedding. She went straight from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey. Then she went straight home. She didn't drive, and if she needed a hankie she could have tucked one up her sleeve or on her bra.

But, this is something that Grandma J noticed before.......

Like here.........

......and here

and this adorable bag

Must be her favorite black patten leather

here we go again.

So, Grandma J decided to put an end to all the speculation. Especially since no one gives a dang but her. Here is some trivia she found about the contents of the Queen's purse.

**"Enquiring minds want to know: just what does Queen Elizabeth carry in that purse? As it turns out, there is more to the royal purse than its meager contents. It doubles as a signal device. When the Queen is carrying out her royal duties at some function, she uses her purse to communicate with her servants. When she shifts the bag from one arm to another, for instance, it means she’s ready to leave. When at a banquet, if the Queen sets her purse on the floor, it’s another bad sign. She finds the conversation boring and wants to escape. However, if the royal bag dangles happily from the crook of her left arm, she is happy and relaxed."

"One thing that can always be found inside the Queen's purse is an S-shaped metal meat hook that she can place on the edge of a piece of furniture and hang her purse on it." Grandma J bought one once at the Dollar Tree.

"She always carries a metal make-up case given to her by Prince Philip as a wedding gift. She carries a collection of good luck charms, most of them gifts from her children, including dogs, horses, saddles, and horsewhips, reports the Daily Express, and photos of her children. She is never without her mints, chocolate drops for her corgi dogs, and a crossword or two snipped from the papers by her attendants."

**Majesty magazine reports that the Queen carries a comb, a handkerchief, a small gold compact and a tube of lipstick in her handbag. On Sundays, she carries paper money to place in the collection plate at church.

One more thing........

Who dressed Princess Ann?

And when you dis Fergie, she gets even and dresses her girls funny.

XOXO Grandma J

We Interrupt This Blog....

2011-04-29T04:10:00.000-05:00

......at this gawd awful hour of

this would be a.m.

To bring you a royal affair.

The wedding of William and Catherine

Everyone is excited and wide awake

as I was saying.....

Unless they retreat to another room.

Will you be watching The Wedding, live? Are you gonna DVD it and sleep in like a slacker? Or, have you had your fill of all this nonsense? Grandma J wants to know.

XOXO Grandma J

Romeo, My Precious Romeo.......... where the heck are you?

2011-04-28T00:07:00.001-05:00

Grandma J doesn't usually do PSA's for crazy women. No, because she would consider that a PMS alert.
But in this case, Romeo is more than missing....he's been stolen!!

HAVE YOU SEEN ME?

And, the reward is more than a box of Milk Bone treats, so Grandma J figured an all out Romeo Alert would be worthwhile.

Here is the article from the Orange County Register: Woman offers a $100,000 reward.

That's right, there is an all out alert from his mom, because she really thinks this is a kidnapping by some Mexican Drug Lords.

Note: Grandma J isn't sure whether that is an official organization, so she capitalized it just in case.

Carol Rudat, (that's Romeo's mom's name) set up a website loaded with all the details concerning Romeo's disappearance, along with the different tiers of rewards offered.

For instance, if you return Romeo you only get $2,500, but if you can nail a politician and make sure they spend time in the slammer you get the grand prize of $100,000. There are other levels of reward too.

Here Romeo's mother makes a plea, and explains how to go about ~~donating to her campaign war chest~~ collecting the different rewards.

Grandma J, for a brief second considered getting JJ's hair dyed, and putting a Santa suit on him, but seriously, he would run away, then the cycle would start over again.

For your listening pleasure, here is a sample of Romeo ~~pleading for someone to take him~~ singing.

Tuesday Trivia........on Wednesday

2011-04-27T10:17:00.005-05:00

Yeah, as Rita would say, always a day late and a dollar short.   But Grandma J never really gave much credence to such silly talk.   Besides, sometimes we ~~sleep in~~  get sidetracked. So, instead she will continue with her trivia x 2 to make up for her tardiness.

First things first.....Grandma J is humbled by all the well wishes for her migraine.   Seriously, it knocked the beegeezus out of her.   The funny thing is, she gained .6 lbs.    But the point is, thank you all for being there.

Grandma J went to see a "special" headache doctor in Austin because the vet recommended him.   He gave Grandma J some samples of a wonder drug, and a prescription to fill.   Grandma J went home, took the medicine and went to bed. After three doses and plenty of ~~ice cream~~ sleep, she feels fine.

The headache doctor did mention acupuncture as an alternative to drugs if the headaches come back frequently.   Since Grandma ~~J is already overly medicated~~ doesn't like to take drugs,   she looked up acupuncture in her home town. She found one really close to JJ's day care, so she drove by and thought maybe she had the address wrong, so she double checked. The address was right, and this is what she saw...........

OK......raise your hand if you think Grandma J should try acupuncture. AND.....do you think it's cheaper during happy hour?

On the Bumpy Side of the Road

2011-04-26T09:48:00.000-05:00

For the last two and a half days, including the nights, Grandma J had a long lost friend visit. You know how you can forget all about someone who has a profound effect on your life until they show up? Then once they are back in your life for just a short time...like minutes you don't know how you ever forgot!

You know how time can cause you to have a brain fog, or selective memory syndrome? Grandma J doesn't know either.

She thought she had left her friend back in California because she hadn't seen or heard from her since retiring......but she found her in Texas, on Easter Sunday.

Easter morning she arrived and the memories of avoiding sounds and light came rushing back. Grandma J almost forgot how numerous encounters hugging the John were part of the full package.

Her friend's name is Migraines.....

Today it's off to the doctor for some relief, because Tylenol and ice cream don't cut it.

My Easter in a Nutshell

2011-04-25T09:12:00.000-05:00

I made it through Mass......
I'll check for eggs tomorrow.

Monkeys Jumping On The Bed

2011-04-23T00:27:00.003-05:00

Can end up with a visit to the ER.......

With a broken arm. The monkey wants a purple and pink cast.
.

How Green Are You.......or your grass

2011-04-22T00:05:00.002-05:00

It's Earth Day

That's right, Grandma J has another important Green factorial for you. A factorial is a tutorial without any tutoring...or even a tutor. It's just a fact that she wants to share with you.

Now Grandma J isn't the greenest person, but she knows who is. And she is trying to learn more about being green everyday.....in her own way.

Right now things here in Central Texas are dry as can be...an official drought, a real tinder box if you will. It's tough having a lush green lawn this spring, and Grandma J surfed the Internet to find the perfect way to get your lawn to look green in no time flat......

Like this From this

That's right, you can actually paint your lawn green. No water to waste during a drought, no frost to worry about in Connecticut!

You can watch a demonstration of how to have the greenest lawn without calling Grandma J.

HAPPY EARTH DAY!

Boom, Boom, Boom, Baby

2011-04-21T00:07:00.002-05:00

E-Trade Baby bleeping loses it.

Wait til he sees the latest gas prices!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-04-20T00:03:00.001-05:00

I'm Bragging Again

2011-04-19T00:05:00.002-05:00

because I'm Proud as Peaches........

Once again I ask you to indulge me in some bragging.

Andrew flanked by his two sisters, Little One and Beauty

My ten year old, bald by choice grandson, Andrew reads Alex And The Amazing Lemonade Stand to all the preschoolers at his little sister's school. This is quite a large group considering there are several classes, each named after a different animal. This year Little One is an Owl, but there are Teddies, Butterflies, Froggies, Tigers, Penguins and Kangaroos!

The teachers said the kids listened intently as Andrew read the story about a four year old little girl with cancer, named Alex and her goal to raise a million dollars to find a cure selling lemonade. She reached that goal before passing away at the age of eight. Since then, her foundation, run by her parents has raised over 40 million dollars through Alex's Lemonade Stands across the country.

I love how Andrew brings awareness about love, caring and sacrifice to even the youngest children.

Romping Through the Bluebonnets.....

2011-04-18T09:55:00.000-05:00

sixty miles from home

After spending most of the day Saturday driving over Dams and bridges, looking for professed sightings of bluebonnets all over the place, Grandma J, JJ and Phillip Johnny Bob finally went ~~to a cantina~~ home and ~~guzzled beer~~ had some ice cream with fudge topping.

On Sunday, it was off again. I mean really, just because we haven't had rain in months, and just because wildflowers need to wet their whistles, doesn't mean Central Texas can't have some bluebonnets, does it?

With dry winds blowing at up to 40 miles per hour, and terrible wild fires off to the west and southwest, Grandma J continued her quest.

There were plenty of bluebonnets at Old Settlers Park in Round Rock TX. As you can imagine, there were tons of peoplethere. Lots of kids running around, several families taking pictures, and some of them had professional photographers with them. Two young ladies were in wedding dresses. JJ couldn't wait to join the par.tay!

This is a file photo stolen from the internet because Grandma J didn't think it would be right to take a picture of a bride for free when she was paying someone else tons of money.

Much to JJ's dismay, Grandma J moved on, and found a patch of Bluebonnets on a slope away from the crowds. She drove her car up the hill because it was quite a ways from the narrow park road, which is probably why no one was there.

The wind was fierce on the hill, and JJ didn't like Phillip Johnny Bob leaning on him. It was all he could do to hold himself upright and still.

No matter how Grandma J positioned JJ, he kept watching all the activity down the road.

The distraction gave Grandma J a ton of profile shots of JJ. Not knowing how these pictures would turn, she kept switching between her phone camera and her older than dirt digital camera. It was too bright out to see much in the viewfinder, so it was hit and miss until they got home and loaded them on the laptop.

Note to Santa, please a really decent camera would be nice....in this lifetime!

The advantage of going to the hill with the sparse showing of Bluebonnets, was letting JJ run loose and not having to keep him leashed.

He loved it.....he loves running through the wildflowers. And Grandma J was glad, and the whole world was happy.

* My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by the devastating tornados in the Southeast, and the victims of all the Texas wildfires.

On The Hunt...

2011-04-15T23:24:00.000-05:00

It's been a Spring with no showers.....

But this weekend we will troll the hills and valleys in search of Texas' state flower.

Fields of Bluebonnets.....

What are your plans?

I'm Losing Patience!

2011-04-15T10:50:00.000-05:00

Face Recognition........

We go through this every single day, and you still don't know who I am.

You are one slow learner.....seriously.

As Seen On TV.....the review

2011-04-14T10:13:00.000-05:00

This is where Grandma J reviews, uses, ~~cries~~ and recommends some of her favorite products advertised on TV.......or not

She sent away for some official As Seen On TV spokesperson gear. So, now that she is officially attired, let's get started.

Lately, she has been fixated with a plethora of hair products......

Like The Bango! Yes, it's called The Bango.....and it has all the tools needed to prevent you from spending tons of money getting your bangs cut professionally. Your young children won't be humiliated or embarrassed when you accidentally get carried away cutting their bangs.....

leaving them with the ever ~~not~~ popular OOPS cut.

If you think the Bango might be more than you can handle, then just get new bangs....

Grandma J thinks they just Velcro to your head, and we all know how much Grandma J loves Velcro....and duct tape.

Do you cut your own bangs? What do you think of The Bango?

Tuesday Trivia.......evening edition

2011-04-12T18:10:00.000-05:00

Grandma J never brings JJ to Walmart. Even if she wanted to, she doesn't think the Greeter would let him in unless he was dressed up like a kid or stuffed dog.

Obviously, some Walmarts don't have Greeters with good eyes, or else they aren't doing their job.....

Like this cute little doll that looks like a real honest to goodness monkey!

And, I guess as long as your "therapy" dog wears slippers he can help you sniff out your favorite deli items.

But help me Rhonda...........

How do you get your goat past the Greeter?

At least this customer chose to leave his camel outside.

You Call This Fun? Really?

2011-04-10T19:24:00.000-05:00

How was your weekend? Did you have as much fun as I did??

It's Whats For Breakfast

2011-04-08T09:44:00.002-05:00

My good friend M posted on her blog, *, about finding her favorite long lost candy bar. That got Grandma J thinking.....
why do I jump from writing in the first person to third person so much?

What she was really thinking was how much she loves her new favorite candy.

It's coconut flavored, with chocolate. Grandma J loves coconut in any shape or form.

It's this........

Yep, it's yet another new M&M flavor. Grandma J la la loves them!

and.......

Around here, it's what's for breakfast.

Tell me what your favorite candy or snack is? How do you get your sugar high?

She's Not a Gold Digger

2011-04-07T10:34:00.002-05:00

An elderly Georgian woman was scavenging for copper to sell as scrap when she accidentally sliced through an underground cable and cut off internet services to all of neighboring Armenia, That's right.....the whole friggin country of Armenia!!

The woman, 75, had been digging for the metal not far from the capital Tbilisi when her spade damaged the fiber-optic cable on March 28.

As Georgia provides 90% of Armenia's internet, the woman's unwitting sabotage had catastrophic consequences. Now, aren't you glad you aren't a blogger from Armenia?

Web users in the nation of 3.2 million people were left ~~drinking Russian vodka~~ twiddling their thumbs for up to five hours as the country's main internet providers - ArmenTel, FiberNet Communication and GNC-Alfa – were prevented from supplying their normal service. Television pictures showed reporters at a news agency in the capital Yerevan staring glumly at blank screens.

So People......contact the people in the know before your dig!

This is a UNIVERSAL number to call except in the countries of Georgia and Armenia.

Tiptoe Through the Sprinklers

2011-04-06T08:58:00.000-05:00

We all have memories of things we did as kids to cool off.

When Grandma J was a kid we had a little pond that all the neighborhood kids would splash around in. This was without parental supervision. Some of us couldn't swim! We all survived.

There wasn't such a thing as bottled water. When frolicking in the summer sun got us all hot and thirsty, it was the rubber garden hose that quenched our thirst.

One thing Grandma J did was still popular when her own kids were young.

Like playing in the sprinklers with the little boy next store.

This activity isn't recommended for adults. Grandma J knows what she's talking about....she told you all about Rita's incident three years ago. It's a perfect example of why sprinklers aren't for sissy adults.

Tuesday Trivia, or what the........?

2011-04-05T00:09:00.002-05:00

Not that anyone is afraid of the dark....

But, PJB holds the flashlight when a certain family member has to go outside to do his business in the middle of the night.

Just saying.....

Picture This

2011-04-03T13:24:00.002-05:00

Grandma J lives with a boat load of family. When she says family, you know she means JJ, Phillip Johnny Bob, Crusty and Henrietta. Unlike your household, not all things are fair and equal at Grandma J's place at the ~~ghetto~~ Spa.

The love is there for all creatures big, small, wet, chewed, bossy and demanding. Grandma J tries to give equal time and space to all.......

A picture is displayed front and center, with no preferences to any one in particular....stop barking JJ!

Grandma J does admit that some members of the household ~~chew on~~ take advantage of others.

JJ being the Alpha of the group, claims to be an advocate of equality and wasn't happy when I wouldn't adopt the stray cat that he played with.

He invited the cat in the house to play when Grandma J wasn't looking....

but it was cut short when Henrietta started clucking like a ~~hen~~ banshee.

Really, JJ has plenty of playmates at daycare, and of course he loves ~~chewing on~~ playing with Crusty. To show his love he showed Grandma J he framed his very own family photos.

Can you feel the love?

Paper Towels....the new Sham Wow

2011-04-01T10:47:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time, Grandma J had an ~~voyeuristic~~ obsession with Vince, the Sham Wow guy.

OOPS! Wrong picture......

This is the Vince Grandma J is talking about.

She loved the way he took slopping up spills to a new level. He ~~lied~~ had millions convince that the Sham Wow was the next best thing to ~~coffee ice cream~~ white bread.

Well, Grandma J's good friend Hollywood, who she met vicariously through Vince, the Sham Wow Guy....then met up with for coffee at Starbucks in Albuquerque, let me borrow this video ~~that she stole~~ from her facebook page. I la la loved it! I hope you do too.

*Grandma J could NOT get the intro ad off like Hollywood did, so click "skip ad" to get to the ~~meat of the video~~ actual video....thank you.

The Paper Towel Guy

Here Come Da Judge

2011-03-31T00:13:00.001-05:00

Poor Judge Judy was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles yesterday. She had an episode of speaking ~~in tongues~~ gibberish.

That would be gibberish like not making sense. I'm sure it's a scary situation and I can relate because people tell me all the time, "Grandma J, you don't make any sense at all". But Judge Judy, who will check out of the hospital today, isn't the first TV personality to be afflicted lately.

Remember Serene Branson? She was the Los Angeles reporter who had a case of the gibbers too. I found her video, but I didn't think it was fair to put it out there for both of my readers to see. It's all over the internet if you haven't already seen it.

Just like Judge Judy, Serene Branson snapped right out of it and will be OK. They attribute her incident to a migraine.

But the gibberish doesn't end there.....there have been other reporters who have experienced the same speech episodes......

Like Mark McAllister, a reporter in Toronto, Canada. Nothing original about his bout with gibbery speak. He also got a clean bill of health, also attributing his gibberish talk to a migraine.

Call me crazy, because I've never been a "believer" in such things, but could all of this gibberish talk be caused by these guys?

Have they infiltrated the human race as we know it here on earth? Is Judge Judy possessed?

Becoming His Own Dog

2011-03-30T08:42:00.000-05:00

Grandma J wasn't just idly sitting, watching the world go by for the last nine months. No sirree. She spent some of the time ~~on her laptop playing Bejeweled Blitz~~ on her phone talking and texting ~~playing Words With Friends~~ with her family and friends.

JJ spent time with his friends at Pouncing Paws....and somewhere along the line he taught himself how to access my laptop.

Grandma J thinks he discovered the face recognition log-in feature....and from there it was full speed ahead.

He has his own facebook account and probably has more friends than Grandma J. He doesn't have much to say, but seems to relish in the idea of making friends with people in high places........

Like Steve Jobs! You would think JJDog could get Grandma J an iPad!

It scares me that he has contacts with some women.

St. Baldrick's Heros

2011-03-28T23:40:00.001-05:00

They did it to raise money for a cure.

Andrew's Cub Scout buddy's joined him at the St. Baldricks Day event. What great friends!

They did it to stand toe-to-toe with those still fighting for their lives

Andrew loves Zoe. He knows there is no cure for her cancer....another reason to support St. Baldricks.

They did it as a reminder that too many kids get cancer

And because they love each other more than you can imagine.

She did it because....

She wanted to let her brother know that she too wanted to make a difference....

......and with no regrets!

Grandma J suggested that this beautiful sister is mature enough to get her ears pierced.....and shouldn't have to wait until she's a teenager. Her parents agreed!!!

They did it again, and again, and will never forget

Angel legend and Baseball Hall of Famer, Rod Carew lost his daughter Michelle to Leukemia 15 years ago. He continues to raise funds and awareness, claiming to have gained many more children in the process. I'm sure his daughter is proud of him.

They did it for love

The saying, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree", couldn't be any truer! Dad has always been a supporter and advocate for finding a cure through fundraising.

With a Promise and a Lick

2011-03-27T23:28:00.001-05:00

On Sunday night, Grandma J la la loves to watch The Amazing Race, and then Celebrity Apprentice. Here in Texas, Prime Time starts at seven, so on Sundays, it's a special treat to have dinner in the living room, smack dab in front of the TV.

But Grandma J is trying be be sensible about her dietary intake......she's come to the realization that it's not so much what she eats, but the quantity of food taken in.

This Sunday, the decision was made to skip dinner and go straight to the dessert.

JJ likes this idea too....except he's not allowed to beg, and Grandma J never gives JJ any of her food.

She does let him lick the plate or bowl ~~to save on dish detergent and water~~ once she is done. He just sits there and stares at her....and stares some more.

But, sometimes Grandma J fore goes a bowl and eats right from the carton. Especially if it's a ~~pint~~ single serving size carton. JJ just dives right in to lick up the remnants.

He knows it's well worth the wait, and he never misses a drop......

* Tomorrow I hope to have some really cute photos from the St. Baldricks Day Shave-a-Thon!!

He Ain't Heavy....He's My Brother

2011-03-26T09:22:00.001-05:00

Grandma J had a really funny slap-my-fanny post for you....it was all ready to publish....in the can, as they say in the business. But.........

Here I am, climbing on my Proud as Peaches Platform!

I just found out that my granddaughter Beauty, decided that she wants to do something special to honor her brother Andrew on St Baldricks Day.

That's right....this adorable eight year old is stepping up and offering up her golden locks to the shears of a barber. She's getting her head shaved this Sunday to honor her brother Andrew.

If you are in So CA, and don't have plans Sunday, stop by and cheer all the kids, and grown ups on as they show off their bald heads to honor survivors, memorialize those who earned their wings, and those still fighting the good fight.

And no....I couldn' t be prouder, as I step off my Proud as Peaches Platform.

And The Winner Is......

2011-03-25T00:02:00.003-05:00

drum roll please..............

The sixth comment was from Busy Bee Suz at Day by Day.

Suz even picked a fictitious fact, which was number one. Hello, Grandma J doesn't need classes to learn how to decorate JJ!

Also, Grandma J never played a musical instrument. OK, she played the harmonica because someone gave her one.

She never had a job for just one day because you can't collect unemployment until you pass probation, can you??

All the floods happened, and yes, she crossed the Mississippi six times. She crossed the Red River too, which is called the Muddy River on some maps just to confuse me.

Congratulations to Busy Bee Suz!! Let me know which gift you want....PetSmart or Day Care at Pouncing Paws.

A Shameless Public Service Announcement

2011-03-24T00:01:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year when things spring anew.....and it's also that time of year when people all around the Country get their heads shaved to raise awareness for pediatric cancer. It's called St. Baldrick's

My Grandson, Andrew.....a cancer survivor, a term we are blessed to say, is participating in his eighth St. Baldrick's Day event.

The first couple of years he was a bald headed toddler, who took the shears to healthy heads with some help of course. Now he's the Team Captain for Andrew's Army.

He is a young man who loves giving back by getting his head shaved to raising money. Not many ten year old kids would do that.

Andrew loves visiting the cancer children at CHOC, delivering comfy blankets he and his sisters make, and donating a lot of his Christmas and Birthday gifts to them.

If you know of a St. Baldrick's event in your area, support it, or attend it.....if you live in So CA, stop by Andrew's event .......you just might have fun too.

OK, here's the shameless part.......I'm bad at asking for donations, and I know so many of you do your own fundraising for so many wonderful organizations. But, I'm a shameless grandma, so if you have some loose change left over from your Starbucks visit...consider donating. No amount is too small.

*if you scroll down to the bottom of the page, there is a short video of Andrew playing the drums, accompanied by his awesome teacher, Freddy Hernandez.

Spring Has Sprung

2011-03-23T01:38:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year when God's little creatures start setting up house around here. Grandma J has a feeder for her hummingbird friends, and some cute little bird houses for any little birdies that would like to hang out or nest there. A warning to any yellowjackets....don't even cruise on by withing ten feet of here!

The cute little green, pumpkin shaped bird house was made by one of my CA granddaughters. When I was out there last October, we all went to the Bass Outdoor Sports outfitters store , or whatever they are called and they had a nice project for the kids to make these bird houses and paint them. I was fortunate to be the recipient of this one.....painted green to make the birds happy.

My sweet granddaughter, Beauty gave me the cute bird house. I know it's been a while since I've posted about her, so you might be a bit surprised at how grown up she's become.

She loves karaoke, and spent a good portion of her cruise vacation doing just that.