ask grandma j

SOMETIMES THE TRUTH........
.......is stranger than fiction

And then other times people are just plain out of the loop. Seriously out of the loop.

Over the years I've engaged in many conversations with other mothers, sharing stories about being a newly expectant mother, mother of an infant, toddler...and so on. Every so often a mother will tell a tale that borders on bizarre or unbelievable....as in "who would ever do that?" This is one of those.

Now, when I was growing up we were fortunate to never get really sick. When we would get sick, our parents would smather you in tons of Vicks take us to a doctor. It was rare when a Bayer aspirin or the Vicks didn't work, so I don't really recall regular office visits.

When I got pregnant with my oldest daughter, I was sicker than a dog. I thought I had the worse flu ever....I couldn't move without puking my brains out. This went on for a couple of weeks. Finally I called our old family doctor and described my symptoms. He said it sounded like I was pregnant, and did I have an OB GYN? Nope....I had never been to one.....ever!

The good doctor referred me to Dr. Tucker, and "Tucker" would be his first name.
I called to make an appointment, and his receptionist told me to please bring a urine sample. She explained that it should be from the first trip to the bathroom the morning of my appointment.

if this is too much information for my two male readers....oh well!

I was so excited....Little ol me was going to an OB GYN. And...I'm probably pregnant! I sterilized a jar the night before my appointment. I layed out my freshly ironed baggiest blouse and slacks. Because, if you are going to an OB GYN, and you might be pregnant...you want to make sure everyone knows...or at least suspects.

Thank goodness I was young, because I opted out of going to the bathroom before going to bed...you know, the speciment....I wanted to make sure I had a good one. And I did.

Boy did I. I filled the jar.....and carried it out to the car, put it on the seat next to me....and carried it into the office....propping it up on my lap in the waiting room for everyone to see....because I wanted them to know I was pregnant.

So there I sat and just as I predicted, everyone noticed......

They noticed because it was a quart size mayonaise jar...and it was full! I sat there so smug.....and they all stared.....jealous women...all of them.

When the nurse called me in, and I handed her the jar she tried so hard to not laugh.... but I was oblivious to my own stupidity.....until I was leaving and she handed me one of those small speciment jars to use for my next visit.

There you have it....now, tell me the most embarrassing thing you ever did....it's just between us, I won't tell anyone..and I promise not to point at you and laugh.

Tomorrow is a special day.....I can't wait to tell you about it.