Today Was Not My Day

tomorrow doesn't looks much better......sort of. 

Grandma J is trying to be optimistic, but then she was optimistic when she  went to bed last night, and by morning she felt like a herd of elephants trampled across her throat.

Some of you know that Grandma J went to her  doctor's office and had a 1 1/2 hour wait because it was 11:30 and they were wrapping up for the morning.   

She sat in my car wallowing in my delusional state and played scrabble on her iPhone.  At 1:00 she  thought she'd see the doctor soon since there were only a couple of people in the office.  But, Grandma J was reminded that she didn't have an appointment....she was a walk-in.   So, we can bump up that waiting time until 2PM.

Now, no one is complaining....by 3:30 PM, Grandma J was back home with her drugs.

and look who was waiting for her!

And Then There Were Three

that would be three doctors in Grandma J's "five"

Yesterday Grandma J spent three hours texting her daughter for insider info with her new Heart Doctor and his PA.

Now before you start having a conniption fit over the fact that Grandma J is seeing a Cardiologist and his cute PA, you should know it's all because her new primary care doctor makes her have palpitations thinks it's wise to check out every little pain, and for once Grandma J wasn't being a pain in the arse.

So Grandma J went in for a preliminary exam....

By the looks of this examining table, it's easy to see Grandma J had the time of her life, isn't it?

Say AHHH

Grandma J doesn't know if she ever told you how she fired her primary care doctor back in February of 2008, but right after she said "you're fired", he left his HMO and retreated to another state where he originally came from.

Grandma J didn't fire him because he was a bad doctor, but because he called her controlling. In your wildest imagination, could you ever envision Grandma J being controlling? OK, scratch that question.


No amount of subservient behavior from Grandma J could convince the good Dr. that she was not controlling, so she conceded and proved him right in her best Donald Trump voice....complete with pointed finger.....You're fired.




So, fast forward a year, and Grandma J jumps ship and leaves the HMO for a private practice primary care doctor because her insurance is portable and Lord knows Grandma J's whole life is pretty portable.


AND.......This is basically what Grandma J wanted from the get-go when she arrived in Central Texas.


Now, she is willing to share her secret on finding the perfect primary care physician. Are you getting excited?


1. Stub your toe on the bleachers at a youth baseball game, and be sure to scream at the top of your lungs.


2. Just in case everyone ignores you no one hears you over the roar of the out of control parents cheering, limp around in front of the snack bar with a grimace on your face.


3. Smile gratefully when one of the fathers at the pleading of your daughter asks to take a look at your injured toe. Then thank him when he tells you to stop exaggerating it isn't broken.


4. Fast forward to another ball game when you find yourself conversing with the same father. Asking him if he takes your insurance. He says yes.....then asking him if he's a doctor.


Grandma J makes an appointment with the father-turned-doctor upon her return from Blogfest. It's nice because he knows Grandma J's middle daughter, and Dr. Bob, the orthopedic surgeon who is thinking about amputating treating Grandma J's knee.

All this means is Grandma J has come full circle. And that means she has two years before ObamaCare makes her new doctor shoot her is in good hands, medically speaking.


The icing on the cake........none of those annoying magazines in the examing room. You know, Parents, Baby, and AARP. This doctor has other stuff. Yes sireeeee......




Toys, sports toys for Grandma J to play with......






I love the examining gowns too!




And on the wall? Oh, yes!! A-Ron's Christmas present!

YOO HOO, I'm Back

My doctor's visit was pretty routine. You know...the usual get your vitals taken, then follow the nurse to door number three. Remember, this is a new doctor for me, my fourth...and not the one I expected.

After listening to my boobs heart, he went over my meds, and left.

That freed up my day enough that I could go shopping. I bought a new Fossil Purse, and then headed on out to one of my favorite stores..

Bed Bath and Beyond, again. There is one thing that drives me crazy, and this is where I go absolutely insane...

....when I see stuff like this. Please God, what is it about Texas? I mean they don't have an ocean, or mountains or Mickey Mouse!

You would never see this in a store...anywhere....ever!

So I bought this! And if I can stomach it, I will watch the second night of "After The Rose" while I sand exfoliate my mustache. Maybe someone will shoot Jason, or at least hurt him so we can watch him cry like a little girl again.

I Had A Dream

I know, like who cares? But I'm telling you anyway because it tied into my actual day today.

I have a doctor's appointment this morning with another new doctor. This will be my fourth primary care physician in less than two years here in Texas. Unlike So. California, this area of Texas doesn't have any private practice doctors.

There are some specialists, like Dr. Bob....the orthopedic specialist I saw when I broke my pinkie. It wasn't actually broken, but I though it was, and btw, it still hurts.

but generally, you have to go to Scott & White, which is a large HMO with a lot of people like me with PPO insurance. Lost yet?

Anyway, my first doctor was finishing up her residency, and for some reason decided to return to the Philippines.

My second doctor was ok, but then I had a visit from hell with him and well, you know....he's the one I had to FIRE. shortly thereafter, he left Texas for Utah.

The third doctor, Dr. Kim, was great. Really great. She was observant, informative and very supportive. She decided to have a baby, and may not come back.

So today I see Dr. Spellman. I hate the fact that this overworked Dr. (they all are, right?) will have to be filled in on all my issues, drugs, allergies, yada, yada. I just hate starting at square one. Thank goodness I don't have anything too life threatening. It's just the thyroid issues that we can't seem to get under control no matter how many times we change the meds.

So, my dream was this.....
I was sitting in the waiting area of a clinic...a huge clinic with hundreds of people, old people.

After a long time, an announcement came over the PA system and everyone got up and rushed towards the appointment counter. I was standing in a tight crowd that hardly moved....and didn't have a clue what was going on. I asked the man next to me, and he said that after ten, they quit calling you by name...and it was each man for himself if you wanted to see a doctor before noon.

After another long time, they made another announcement, and everyone started running to a room in the back somewhere. Oh goodie! I walked up to the counter just as the clerk was putting up her OUT TO LUNCH sign. I asked her where everyone ran to...she said they were all eating the free lunch. Oh Goodie again! She told me not to get too excited because if you are overweight you don't get lunch...at that point I woke up.

See you later.

Big Girl Owies

Or maybe this post should be called...
What Happens When You Procrastinate.

I waited until the last day to pack and do last minute things for a trip. Not just packing...but stuff like making sure all the perishables where taken out of the fridge, and the trash was all taken out. Little chores like washing any dirty clothes and dishes....so you know, there wouldn't be any musty, or nasty odors lingering when I return.

Stuff like getting the car washed and the gas tank filled in case someone needed to use my car in an emergency....like, you know, a teenager needed to go cruising if they wrecked their own car, or so they would be able to pick me up when I return to town.

So there's a plan....not that much to do on an icy day with only one game plan....until the phone rings. Can you take someone to the doctor? Sure, that shouldn't take but an hour or two.


Besides, it's someone who can fill out their own paperwork at the Pediatrician's office. And it's someone who isn't exactly dying. No, it's just someone who ran into a concrete wall in a gym...ribs first.

Which means an additional trip to the hospital for exrays. Which means getting home after dark.

But low and behold....the game plan went forward.......and everything falls into place!

YOU'VE GOT MAIL!
....good mail

That's what the mailman said to me yesterday, in front of a bunch of jealous residents here at The Compound.

First of all, I got something from Virginia. It's from one of my favorite East Coast bloggers... Are you ready for this? Are you sitting down?


It's a Happy Fall card from my BBF, Cooper! Can you believe he has photo cards for FAll? Can you believe he sent one to Grandma J? Thank you Cooper! I love you.

Next, I received my winning tote from The Fishn Mama's recent contest!

Check out her blog, it's one of my favorites. Thank you, The Fishn Mama!

Last but not least...I received a box. A big box.

It's my CPAP contraption that the doctor ordered after my sleep study. I used it last night, and I don't know if it worked or not because I woke up at 5:30 from my cell phone alarm going off. This happens whenever I use it to wake up, it goes off everyday there after! I didn't go to bed until 2 a.m., so this was very inconvenient. I eventually got up at 8 a.m. with welts on my cheeks from the mask straps, and the thing that goes in my nostrils stretched them out to double their size.....or that's how it felt.
I'll try it again tonight.

So...what did your mailman bring you?

* don't forget to vote in my World Series poll!!

SOMETIMES THE TRUTH........
.......is stranger than fiction

And then other times people are just plain out of the loop. Seriously out of the loop.

Over the years I've engaged in many conversations with other mothers, sharing stories about being a newly expectant mother, mother of an infant, toddler...and so on. Every so often a mother will tell a tale that borders on bizarre or unbelievable....as in "who would ever do that?" This is one of those.

Now, when I was growing up we were fortunate to never get really sick. When we would get sick, our parents would smather you in tons of Vicks take us to a doctor. It was rare when a Bayer aspirin or the Vicks didn't work, so I don't really recall regular office visits.

When I got pregnant with my oldest daughter, I was sicker than a dog. I thought I had the worse flu ever....I couldn't move without puking my brains out. This went on for a couple of weeks. Finally I called our old family doctor and described my symptoms. He said it sounded like I was pregnant, and did I have an OB GYN? Nope....I had never been to one.....ever!

The good doctor referred me to Dr. Tucker, and "Tucker" would be his first name.
I called to make an appointment, and his receptionist told me to please bring a urine sample. She explained that it should be from the first trip to the bathroom the morning of my appointment.

if this is too much information for my two male readers....oh well!

I was so excited....Little ol me was going to an OB GYN. And...I'm probably pregnant! I sterilized a jar the night before my appointment. I layed out my freshly ironed baggiest blouse and slacks. Because, if you are going to an OB GYN, and you might be pregnant...you want to make sure everyone knows...or at least suspects.

Thank goodness I was young, because I opted out of going to the bathroom before going to bed...you know, the speciment....I wanted to make sure I had a good one. And I did.

Boy did I. I filled the jar.....and carried it out to the car, put it on the seat next to me....and carried it into the office....propping it up on my lap in the waiting room for everyone to see....because I wanted them to know I was pregnant.

So there I sat and just as I predicted, everyone noticed......

They noticed because it was a quart size mayonaise jar...and it was full! I sat there so smug.....and they all stared.....jealous women...all of them.

When the nurse called me in, and I handed her the jar she tried so hard to not laugh.... but I was oblivious to my own stupidity.....until I was leaving and she handed me one of those small speciment jars to use for my next visit.

There you have it....now, tell me the most embarrassing thing you ever did....it's just between us, I won't tell anyone..and I promise not to point at you and laugh.

Tomorrow is a special day.....I can't wait to tell you about it.

TROPICAL THUNDER REVIEW

Boy what a day. I had an early morning pre-appointment in Temple...the city south of Wacko Texas. For some reason it takes eighty five hundred pre-appointments to prepare you for the real appointment. Are you wondering why this is necessary? Can you say money...as in co-pay.....like eighty five hundred copays? I'm convinced that the better your medical insurance is, the more pre-appointments you are required to have.

None of these pre-appointments required any lab work or imaging...just take my vitals and chit chat. I think if they had to treat me without insurance, I would have been in and out in one huge appointment. My real appointment is this coming Wednesday night. I'm having a sleepover.

I have to bring my own snacks! No alcohol. microwave popcorn?

I can bring my own Pillow. I want my memory foam topper

bring my own jammies, no silk or satin, baby dolls?

Maintain usual habits, can I bring my laptop?

I leave my appointment and as I step outside, it's raining cats and dogs!

........and I'm wearing flip flops.

I drive back to see Paul before going to the movies. Paul was busy with two women, so Antonio helped me with my GPS functions. Paul came over to say Hi, and seemed pretty excited that some of my readers gave him a shout out! No, not you Nick!

I left for the theatre. Perfect timing.
______________________________

Tropical Thunder was so-so. I hate to say that, because the trailers were so good, and it's been a long time coming to the theatres. Most of the humor was in the trailers, so the rest was redundant. Lots of fart talk, and farts in general.

The attempt at gore was over the top. The fake stuff like blood and guts was too slapstick. What looked like thirty pounds of mangled hot dogs swimming in ketchup doesn't make for good open wounds.

The funny parts were funny, but they kept repeating the same thing. The ending was more than predictable too. I felt sad that Tom Cruise has been knocked down a notch to a cameo, highly masqueraded role.

I did take note that Nick Nolte, one of my favorite actors from years past.....

looked just as bad in Tropical Thunder as he did in his mug shot.

No thumbs, maybe 3 out of 5 stars.

FRIDAY MATINEE ON MONDAY

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment in the morning in Temple...that's about 26.3 miles away. When I get back, I want to see this!

Tropic Thunder.......Another Ben Stiller movie. I have to admit, I'm giving him several chances to redeem himself this year. This is it! You hear me Ben? Ok, I'm joking, just stay cute.

I also have to stop in at the ATT store to see Paul. He said he'd help me figure out the GPS on my new Blackjack. If I get up early enough I'll stop in to get that done before the doctor's appointment, so I can test it out. It wouldn't do me much good using it to go to the movies, because it's across the street from ATT.

Hi Paul.... What would I do without Paul.

Big brother fans, don't forget to vote for this weeks eviction. Renny is being weird, don't you think? Asking her alliance members to be pawns....what was she thinking? I think she will be on everyone's short list....

THE BRAVEST LITTLE TROOPER

Today was the day our little guy JJ, had to have his annual physical and immunizations....SHOTS! I agreed to take him, but I made others go with me for moral support.

When I had my own dog, Charlie, I never held him, or even stayed in the same room with him when he got shots. He had to know it wasn't my idea...at all. His

oldest sister used to scream bloody murder, scratch, run, kick, bite, you name it! To this day she's scared to death. I didn't want JJ to be traumatized and blame me.
I explained to his siblings that he would be getting three shots, a blood test, and a fecal sample would be collected. A what? I explained that they needed some fresh poop to check for worms and stuff. EWWWWWW! Just the realization of exactly how that happens was a sad awakening for the kids.

The nurse took JJ back into another room for the tests. Then she came back with the Doctor. ok, so some of you call her a vet. She looked in his ears and nose.....listened to his heart, checked his teeth and THEN SAID IT WAS TIME FOR THE SHOTS. What? I thought that was done already! We had to leave the room. And yes, JJ cried with each one! They tried to sooth things over with some crappy doggie treats....and JJ turned his nose up! I asked the Dr. if they might have some bacon strips or sausage treats but no!
They gave us JJ's rap sheet.

You can't say Grandma J isn't the bravest, kindest, clueless grandma in the world. Actually, she did great for a fourteen year old.
We left and took JJ home. Where we gave him two nice chewy steak bites.

DYSFUNCTION JUNCTION
...or stormy waters over Texas

Since I'm dispondent over my printer issues, here's a little joke my daughter or SIL sent me (yeah, the one who gave me the printer).

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm
in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. Dumb ass!

Today has been one of those days. We all have them. Yeah, even I have them on a daily regular basis. First of all, I decide to download some family photos from the 4Th of July....no camera. I look in my purse everywhere...no camera. I text my daughter to see if it's at her house...she's at work and doesn't think so. I call my grandson at their house to see if my camera's laying around....NO. I drive over there....no camera to be found. So I take JJ for a ride in the car, then go home.

I decide to check out some blogs to see if there's any new contests to enter. Nothing!

Someone pounds on my front door! Here in the Compound they assume we're all hard of hearing. It's the mailman bringing a huge envelope to my door, because it won't fit in my mailbox...it's from Princess Cruise Lines. I anxiously go through all the nice colored pages of a very thick tour book. One reminder was to be sure and book all my shore excursion ASAP. After all, my friends in CA already booked theirs eons ago. Yep, I've been procrastinating BIG TIME! I decide that today is a good day to get my shore excursions squared away once and for all. After signing up for a few, I go to print out the confirmations and my printer is on the fritz....I try everything, even un-install, reinstall. I finally give up....so that's the end of that project!

So then, I have a couple of new prescriptions for Methadone cholesterol drugs. I get my stuff through the mail because it's cheaper and because my insurance says so. Now, my doctor is supposed to fax the script to the mail order pharmacy using a form that's all filled out with my personal info and insurance info....just fill in the RX and fax to an 800 number PRESTO. But no, he writes the script and hand it to me and tell me to fax it. Well, it has to be faxed from the medical facility. OK, it's a waste of time trying to explain it to the doctor again, so I go home and log on to the mail order pharmacy's website to see what it takes to mail the hard copy, because I do have their official envelopes! The website says to print out the new RX form and mail it with the script. I call to see if I can just include a hand written note because...can you say it all together Peanut Gallery? "My printer is on the fritz."

Next, I go back to checking on some of my favorite blogs that give away away absolutely nothing....then all of a sudden I check in at Foolery and decide to join this....
And then become this.....

All of a sudden my luck starts to change! My son-in-law, Master Sergeant John, tells me he has a near new 3-in-1 printer I can have! I head on over to their house to get it....my daughter invites insists that I stay for dinner, and my grandson finds my camera in my daughter's van! The world is right!

OK, so things didn't happen exactly in that order...but they all happened so nothing else matters. Nothing except my love for my readers.

Can I get an Amen?

FRIDAY MATINEE DELAYED...or what else is new?
Unless the fact that it's Friday the 13th tells you to cancel everything.

Hopefully this Friday Matinee..delayed, won't become the norm. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I won't be able to keep my commitment to you this week. I'm sure last Friday's delay is just a distant memory, but let me refresh it for you....I went to the ER, remember now?

The doctor wanted me to return in exactly one week for more ex rays because we know last weeks diagnosis was "Beats Me" inconclusive. So off I go for an early morning office visit with a side order of ex rays because why not suck every dollar you can out of my insurance company?

They have this sign in the reception area.
I don't know if they are looking for traffic accident volunteers, or victims.
I would have taken advantage of the quick service but I think it involves police reports and civil lawsuits.

Sunday will be Father's Day at The Movies, so that should be a blast, except for JJ who is usually left out of the loop. I have to tell you, JJ gets a bit ticked because his BGFF Tabatha goes everywhere...for real. Sunday's movie should be a welcome change for some of you from the normal chick flicks I like because Master Sergeant John will be doing the picking.

This afternoon, I have my aqua aerobics at the pool in my senior compound.
How many ways can you say FUN? Life doesn't get much better, unless you top it all off with a Twinkie.

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL....AND MY "END" IS WELL

I really don't mind having my tush prodded and poked. Its never really painful, and I don't have to face the doctor, unlike having a pelvic exam...aka vaginal prodding. The bad and irritating part of the whole scenario is the prep. The colon flush which I will be kind enough to leave at just that. Having nothing by mouth, like yea, how else do I ingest my food or beverage, unless I'm on a feeding tube for close to 30 hours is no picnic and extremely stressful. Even though they say you can have clear liquids, they really mean you can have water up until a few hours before the procedure. A nurse once told me that I could get away with having a cup of black coffee the morning of the procedure, chased by a glass of water and no one would know the difference. So that is what I did. I have black coffee before routine blood tests too....and yes I lie when they ask me.

By the way, just an observation, not to dis my doctor, but has anyone else ever noticed how happy their doctor is during this procedure? My doctor was humming....yes.he.was.humming.

OK, so I survived the whole thing, and couldn't wait to get out of there and get something to eat. Something good...like a nice pastrami on rye from Jason's deli. I order "to go" and, because it's still early, I decided to check out what's playing at the movie theatres next door. I love going to matinees because I can sit where ever I want and laugh as loud as I want without having to practically sit on someone's lap. I can also bring my own lunch without jealous people getting annoyed by the smell of pastrami on rye, or a taco salad.

I think there may have been ten people in the whole theatre....well, by whole theatre, I mean theatre #7. There are fourteen theatres in all.

So I sit in row two, center. Row one is handicap, and has a rail behind it so the people in row two can't put their feet up and kick them in the head on the back of the seats. This is the reason I sit in row two.....so I can put my feet up on the rail.

The movie is funny, but not hysterically funny. Jason Segel, as usual is funny throughout the whole movie.


And this guy. I love this guy. Jonah Hill.

He is a riot. I was laughing before he said anything. It's his whole personna. I want to see him starring in something. But anyway, the movie is rated R. The only reason it's rated R is because we get to see Jason Segel's pee pee...several times. Nothing sexy or erotic about it either....actually rather pitiful and goofyish. So the rating is a non issue as far as I'm concerned. I liked the movie, but it starts dragging towards the end and that's when I get bored and really want an ice cream cone.


So, I have to say, after all the hype and rave reviews over Forgetting Sarah Marshall, it was a bit of a let down....and I gave it this.