It's Wordful Wednesday....

 with a  REVIEW saga

 

Once upon a time...Grandma J went to see a movie matinee once a week.  

Sometimes she brought a friend, most times she was too cheap to pay for two tickets or share her popcorn.



Then she decided toget fit, so she joined and aqua aerobics class, and started frolicking in the pool for two hours a day.

....and frolick she did.

But yesterday, she decided she'd see a really funny matinee after her aqua aerobics.  One hour in the pool was all she planned on because she decided to take a few minutes to follow a suggestion to spruce up her appearance.

She dyed her eyebrows....no kidding.   You're laughing, right?   I know you are, and that's OK.

Then, the dye wouldn't come off her FACE.....all day, all night. 


Grandma J is telling you all this because she  didn't get to the matinee yesterday....she probably won't go to the pool today.


remedies?  suggestions?

It's been ions since Grandma J's been to a matinee.   Ever since she started her aqua aerobics class she's been too water logged busy frolicking for two hours a day in heavily chorinated water.

Today that all changes...she's going to see a movie with two of the funniest people on the planet.   Especially her favorite actor from her new favorite sitcom....The Office.

So, after aqua aerobics, Grandma J is off to ruin the first seat behind the rail see Date Night in her wet bathing suit, hidden under her clothes.

Hasta....

Topsy Turvy

¡uʍop ǝpısdn

ƃuıuɹnʇ sı plɹoʍ ʎɯ

Lately Grandma J has been having blogger's block.  She has had mucho anxiety and was hoping it was related to spending two hours a day doing leg squats in a heavily chlorinated public pool.

Or maybe it was the sound of the aqua aerobics instructor yelling, pull that belly button back until it touches your spine, at the top of her lungs.

Grandma J had also had bad dreams about searching for a lost JJ, across the vast deserts of Arizona....only to have to fight off a plethora of Javelinas. 

The only way she can describe this turmoil in her life is topsy turvy.

Which definition of topsy turvy do you think best describes Grandma J's current condition?

–adverb

1.with the top where the bottom should be; upside down.

2.in or into a reversed condition or order.

3.in or into a state of confusion or disorder.

–adjective

4.turned upside down; inverted; reversed: a topsy-turvy reflection.
5.confused or disorderly: a topsy-turvy classroom.

–noun
6.inversion of the natural order.
7.a state of confusion or disorder.

In The Swim

Grandma J finally joined an aqua aerobics class.  It's off site since the pool here at The Spa holds just about 2 1/2 people....maybe.

So, she joined a class at the Boys & Girls Club because it's cheaper than a full gym membership at Gold's.  There's also a drill sargeant instructor, life guard, and get this...there's only one looney man in the class who is very animated.

Grandma J ignores him and tries to mingle amongst the old women.   She's extremely glad about the over chlorination of the pool.  Sorry, no explanation on that. 

Of course this new class and location is actually much nicer than the one Grandma J used to go to at the Compound.  And of course the one lone perv man has nothing on the men at the Compound. 

You do remember the men who hung out at the aqua aerobics at the Compound, right?

Now a nice man in a hot tub in July, in Virginia, at Blog Fest is a whole different story. 

Now, there is no need to get jealous....just sign up for this year's Blog Fest.  

A is for....

And this is so appropriate because, as you know, I started a diet a week ago. Of course I hate to go on and on about it, but in the first week, I lost a whopping 4.4 lbs. Yeah me! I turned my statistics in to Big Hair Envy who happens to be hosting the South Beach Blogger Butt Smackdown!! Of course I am doing the Atkins diet because I love being different am familiar with it, and find it better geared to my needs.....like losing enough weight to equal a baby whale.

So I will Do my Aerobics to firm up as I slim down. The reason this is so on target is because Suz at Day By Day....My Life As A Busy Bee , reminded me that this is A to Z Monday. I always miss the start of these theme posts so I feel lucky this time.

Care to join me?

WE INTERRUPT TODAY FOR A BRIEF UPDATE

By interrupt, I mean one of the following..

1.Take a break from something
2.Cause something to stop
3.Disturb somebody or somebody’s work
4.Obstruct view

Here is exactly what happened. By exactly I mean sort of.

I boarded my flight, and took my coveted First Class seat....4-D, and buckled up without the assistance of a seatbelt extention the young guy next to me.

Please understand, I was only able to fly First Class because I upgraded to First Class using my frequent flyer miles...because I get one mile for every dollar I spend at Walmart and Disneyland. Those miles add up, and my bank account goes down at the same rate? Some coincidence!

By the way, did you notice how much I like saying First Class?

I had a yummy breakfast of pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and a croissant.

This is what it looked like....after I finished.

When I arrived in Dallas, I had a two hour layover before continuing my journey to the local regional airport where I live.

I found me a nice little cubicle-like niche with electrical outlets and free wifi.

I couldn't wait to post and keep my readers reader abreast of my journey.

I plugged this in....

Then I connected this..... and I tried and tried to connect to the internet. Everything indicated that I was in fact connected....but I wasn't. As time dwindled down, I had to give up on my efforts. As I was unplugging stuff that I plugged in, I noticed this.

Yeah, I never connected this. NEVER!
That is my lame explanation for the late update. Seriously!

When my son-in-law brought me home to the compound...

This was on my door. They missed me...yeah, my aqua aerobics pals.....who would have thought?


But my favorite neighbor didn't know I was gone? Seriously!

Top Ten Reasons Why Grandma J Isn’t Currently Dating Kelsey Grammer


1. Kelsey is busy on the talk show circuit.

2. Kelsey is in the hospital with heart palpitations

3. Kelsey isn't in Grandma J's cell phone "circle".

4. Aqua Aerobics isn’t Kelsey’s idea of “dating”

5. Grandma J’s emails are being hijacked by Kelsey’s jealous wife

6. Kelsey Grammer is too old for Grandma J.

7. Kelsey Grammer is too young for Grandma J

8. JJ scares the ”bee jeeses” out of Kelsey’s dog

9. Grandma J doesn’t want to cheat on Mel

And the number ten reason Grandma J isn't currently dating Kelsey grammer?........to be answered by Grandma J's friends

STEP BROTHERS
= SUPER!


I love it when I see a movie that I almost passed up, and end up loving it. Somehow the real critics and I don't see things the same lately. I thought Step Brothers was hysterical and then some. There is a performance towards the end that satisfied a nerdy part of me...but I'm cool like that, and have learned to embrace the nerd in me.


Go see it without reservations, you won't be sorry. My friend Marey reminded me about what a great guy Will Ferrell is off screen:

"Will Ferrell auctioned off an "extra" part in that movie on eBay and the proceeds all went to a cancer scholarship for kids who had/have cancer....so I will see the movie no matter what the review because he donates a lot of time and money to the cause...and also because Daughter #1 gets a scholarsihp from that....and Pooper could too....in about 10 years :)"

Marey's Daughter #1 and my grandson Pooper are both leukemia survivors. They traveled that journey around the same time. So when people like Will Ferrell reach out to cancer kids it means the world to us. So when you laugh your silly head off watching Step Brothers, keep in mind what a big heart that goof ball has!

And because I'm so tickled? I invited the Step Brothers to my aqua aerobics today.

OODLES OF NOODLES

I didn't do a Friday Matinee on Monday today for several reasons. First, I went to see Hancock last Friday, July 4Th, and there's nothing playing that I care to see, or that I'd even be willing to sit through for the sake of my readers. The Love Guru is too weird for me to enjoy. But I can't wait for Momma Mia! I might see it twice.

But...today was aqua aerobics day. That's right! When I join in with a group of other people who live here at the compound. We kind of wiggle and kick, and splash, and giggle, and wiggle again.

That's why I go in the pool every morning and early evening by myself to do real aqua aerobics.A few weeks ago I bought one of these noodles to use in the pool when I do my aqua aerobics. The first time I used it, it was very apparent to me some of the folks were green with envy.
I didn't realize what a commotion I had caused. So today, just to show what a good egg I am, I went to WallyWorld and bought some to "share". Have you ever seen a happier group?
Oh this Romeo, can't seem to hang out with the ladies enough. He even goes to the stretch and sew classes.

So now, it's almost time for the Bachelorette Finale. Will DeAna pick Jason, the father of a three year old son, or the ever so hot Jesse, the professional snowboarder? On that same subject, I can hardly believe that my readers voted overwhelmingly for Jason. We shall see.

SWIMMING IN THE POOL...
..at the compound

After my morning coffee, I put on my bathing suit and wandered out to the pool. The pool is about 30 feet from my back porch, so it's convenient to go over there several times a day. And that's what I did today.

This morning it was empty for a short time, which allowed me to do some laps in my awkward combo stroke. Then a few of the "guys" showed up. I keep waiting for the young, cute, tanned hunky guys to show up, but then I remember, this is a senior complex. After a while the guys started showing off, and then it got a bit scary so I left.

I skipped back over a while later for the aqua aerobics class. Not bad, but there's more yakking about who's doing it right than actual aerobics. As much as I enjoy this exercise class, I make a point of not remembering names.
After dinner I went back over for a nice evening swim. I ran into Donna.
This is Donna...OK, pretend this is Donna. Donna's a talker, and a little funky. That's OK, whatever floats her boat. She starts telling me about a phone conversation she had with her son on Father's day. She said she told her son she has a new pen pal....Theodore Kaczynski, the Una bomber, who is currently serving a life sentence, without the possibility of parole. She laughed, and of course I laughed too because, she was joking right? I mean even if it wasn't exactly funny, it's only polite to pretend and not be rude. So, yeah, I laughed right along with Donna.

Then Donna said, "I have to be careful or my son will have me locked up". I said, "Oh, I know, sometimes I'm afraid my kids will too." Donna looks at me with a straight face and asks, "How many times have you been admitted"? I'm like, "well none", she said, "They've taken me away three times." I guess she saw the stunned look on my face, and said, "oh don't worry, I only get loony when I forget to take my meds."

So, I slowly eased myself away, bid Donna a good night, and called it a day. Life is grand around the pool at the compound.

FRIDAY MATINEE DELAYED...or what else is new?
Unless the fact that it's Friday the 13th tells you to cancel everything.

Hopefully this Friday Matinee..delayed, won't become the norm. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I won't be able to keep my commitment to you this week. I'm sure last Friday's delay is just a distant memory, but let me refresh it for you....I went to the ER, remember now?

The doctor wanted me to return in exactly one week for more ex rays because we know last weeks diagnosis was "Beats Me" inconclusive. So off I go for an early morning office visit with a side order of ex rays because why not suck every dollar you can out of my insurance company?

They have this sign in the reception area.
I don't know if they are looking for traffic accident volunteers, or victims.
I would have taken advantage of the quick service but I think it involves police reports and civil lawsuits.

Sunday will be Father's Day at The Movies, so that should be a blast, except for JJ who is usually left out of the loop. I have to tell you, JJ gets a bit ticked because his BGFF Tabatha goes everywhere...for real. Sunday's movie should be a welcome change for some of you from the normal chick flicks I like because Master Sergeant John will be doing the picking.

This afternoon, I have my aqua aerobics at the pool in my senior compound.
How many ways can you say FUN? Life doesn't get much better, unless you top it all off with a Twinkie.

REBIRTH REMEMBERED

Two years ago I quit smoking. I didn't want to. I had to. For over forty years cigarettes were my best friend. They went everywhere with me. They were there through thick and thin.

I started smoking in my junior year of high school. My two best friends and I would meet before school at a cafe across from the school and have hot chocolate and a smoke together. We all took the school bus from different areas of the town we lived in, and because we took the bus, we always arrived at school thirty minutes early. The place was packed with high school kids eating, studying, and smoking. We weren't rebels, this wasn't a gang hangout. My smoking buddy Pam was the Student Body Veep. We were a true cross section...from athletes to geeks and nerds.

Now, we shared a pack of cigarettes. Pamela was our supply machine....her parents smoked Kent, so that was what we smoked. My parents smoked Pall Mall Reds and we needed something with filters. Pamela's parents never looked in her purse, so she given the privilege of being the keeper of our stash. Margaret and I would each give Pam a dime every Friday. That covered the cost of the cigarettes with a little extra for Pam's efforts. We each had one smoke every morning, and sometimes there were afternoon smokes when we had stuff like practice or rehearsals for school activities. Funny, every once in a while Margaret would ask Pamela for a "count" you know, like an audit of our stash.

My one or two cigarettes a day habit progressed over the years to a two pack a day habit. Cigarettes went from 19 cents a pack to over $5. Here are a few facts from my own perspective, from my own personal experiences. No one elses.

• Raising the price and adding taxes does not deter most people from smoking. For most, it's a necessity. It's a staple.
• Another sneaky trick......destroying your mom's cigarettes won't make her quit.
• When visiting your mother when she's in the hospital with pneumonia. Stealing her cigarettes out of her purse when she goes to the bathroom doesn't mean she doesn't have any stashed (because she knows exactly what you will do when she leaves the room).
• Once hospitals banned smoking, the stairwells were littered with butts from patients, nurses and doctors alike. It's a closet thing, we all knew who the others were. We all knew who we could bum a cigarette from.
• Some patients were known to patronize the Del Taco across the street to have a smoke with their nachos.....in their nightgowns.
• Telling children that smokers are bad people....and beaming when they point at a smoker and make that announcement, won't get them to quit. Much better to tell children smoking is bad, not people who smoke (my opinion).

In short, smokers smoke because they are addicts. Smokers quit when it's their time to quit. Really! Badgering, intimidation, belittling, scorning.....doesn't work. I tried the patch, gum, lozenges, hypnosis (three times), and support groups. Lots of money spent because while doctors tell you smoking kills, the different deterrents aren't covered by your insurance. The patches aren't covered, none of the things I tried were covered. If I had been addicted to any other drug, my insurance would cover rehab. Nice rehab....like a spa. I actually asked my doctor to pretend I was a meth addict and put me inpatient...I'm serious!

How did I quit? After years of cursing God, (seriously, I did that) for allowing me to choose the wrong vice, I woke up one day and had no desire to smoke. God listened, and I had an epiphany (and yes, I did give thanks). It's the only way I can explain it. Being suspicious, I kept my cigarettes because I thought it was a "trick miracle". Every morning, I would get up, pour my coffee and stare at the carton......nothing! Yes, I wanted to smoke. Did I need one right then? NO. There were a few moments at work when I would get smokers brain freeze. I would call a smoker friend and ask them to meet me outside....."and bring your smokes". I would take one drag, and hate it...but I had to do it. And no, my friends weren't being bad, they didn't try to sway me either way, they understood. I say that because all smokers try to quit.

I was a product of the sixties. I didn't know anyone who smoked pot in high school but once I became a young adult, working, getting married having kids, owning a nice home in SoCA, I could name on one hand the people who didn't do pot. I was an odd ball. It was just the way it was. I didn't drink alcohol until I was in my thirties. I just didn't have a desire for it. Besides, my cigarettes satisfied my social addiction.

Even my doctor smoked. That's right, you could smoke anywhere....all professions had their smokers. Here, let me put a bit of reality satire into this post.

More vintage ads to show how far society has come. Some will make you gasp. Like these athletes:

Or actors who became President touted them.

This man wants to be President. He also wants to quit smoking. He has quit several times. It may have happened for good. Maybe not. Either way it will happen. In the event that he calls a friend and tells them to meet him outside, and bring their smokes, don't bug him.
Now.........I have to get ready for this:
That's right, aqua aerobics class!! Huh? That's not how you do it?

If you actually read this whole entry you will know that this tale is one persons experience, opinion and imperfect view. I'm like totally PC that way.