Busy Mornings of Yesterday

Every once in a while someone asks me what I do all day. Yeah, like what.....I have to be doing something every minute? Of course, in my book on living, if you're still sucking in air, technically, you ARE doing something.

Sure, now that I'm retired I have the luxury of sleeping past five in the morning.....finally! Of course ever since we set our clocks ahead last Sunday, it stays dark here in Texas until 8:30 in the morning.

My mornings are almost the same as when I used to work. The only difference is that I basically stay home and do the same exact things I used to do at work. Here's what a typical morning was like:

7:00 Arrive at work, take my smokes out of my purse, placing them next to my computer for easy access. Put purse away in locked drawer.

7:05 Mosey over to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee, because the men are lurking in the wings, waiting for one of the women to make the coffee.

7:10 Go back to my cubicle, get my cigarettes, take the elevator to the fifth floor balcony and have a smoke while the coffee brews. Chat with all the other smokers and when someone starts to tell an interesting tidbit of gossip, sit down and light a second cigarette.

7:30 Head on back to my cubicle, put my cigarettes back by my PC, walk over to the kitchen only to find an empty coffee pot. Make a second pot...this time I stay in the kitchen until it's ready.

7:40 Sit down at my desk, with my first cup of coffee. Check my emails. Delete the ones from my boss, and forward the jokes to my friends.

7:50 Check my phone messages, taking notes on calls with urgent agency issues upcoming social events.

8:00 Take down "out of office" sign from outside cubicle, as I leave to go check my mail slot. Wave "hello" to boss as I pass by.

8:10 Return to cubicle to find three staff members wanting stuff....just random stuff or questions. This can be extremely annoying.

8:20 The Fed Ex guy shows up, and I sign for the delivery, breaking a nail in the process.

8:25 Go to bosses office to see if I can borrow a nail file. Sit in bosses office and chew the fat go over the day's agenda while filing all my nails so they match the broken one.

9:00 Break time! Change my shoes, then call a few friends around the building to meet me in the lobby to walk to Starbucks.

9:15 Arrive at Starbucks, order coffee, then sit outside on the patio.

9:20 Break Officially Starts! Chit chat with friends and catch up on office gossip.

9:35 Fifteen minute break, mandated by law, is officially over.

9:45 Walk back to office, return to desk only to find my inbox full to the gills. The work never ends! Sort through paperwork, glancing over the ones marked URGENT.

10:00 Check phone message again, then my emails. Life never slows down, giving new meaning to the phrase: The faster I go the behinder I get.

10:15 Grab some work and walk it over to a co-worker's cubicle, who is filling out an Avon order. Ask her if she would mind taking some of the burden off my plate...teamwork is my middle name!

10:30 Sort through some invoices, and decide to hand carry them up to the Accounting Office....saving time on waiting for the mail room to pick then up and deliver them. Remember...."time is taxpayers' money".

10:35 I grab my smokes on the way out the door because I pass the fifth floor balcony on the way to the Accounting Office. Nothing like killing two birds with one stone.

10:50 Return to my desk, straighten up my morning work, organizing my notes in preparation for an afternoon meeting.

11:00 The lunch truck pulls up to the curb and blows it's horn, so I grab my purse out of the locked drawer, and go down to the lunch truck. I place my order, then walk a safe distance away to have a smoke with some of my friends from the building next door while I wait for my food.

11:15 I return to my cubicle, and eat at my desk while I work. Not even hunger can keep my from my responsibilities.

11:50 I call a friend to see if she wants to go to the mall at lunch time.

12:00 LUNCH TIME!

12:00 - 1:00 SHOPPING IN THE MALL.

So there you have a typical morning at work. As a retiree, my day is similar except I don't smoke anymore....I will be smoke free three years next month! Just don't ask me how much weight I've gained.

How was your work day?

The Honest Scrap Award

I know what you readers are thinking.....what did Grandma J do to deserve that award? And of course, I say to that......who cares? very little. All I know is, I'm grateful to Treasia at Confessions of a Mid Life Trucker's Wife for her kindness and thoughtfulness. Thank you.


Here's what the Honest Scrap Award is all about:

I'm supposed to pick seven blogs that I find brilliant in content and design. I know that was a difficult task for Treasia, but for me it's impossible! I admire a zillion different blogs and would like to leave it up to each of you to decide if you would like to rat yourself out tell us all ten things about yourself....honestly.

I have done a whole lot of memes moomoos since I've been blogging so some of the ten things I list will be reruns because I can't remember the details of all the different outpourings I have done....

Here are ten things about Grandma J that you may not know.

1. My hair was totally grey by the age of forty. If I let it grow, my mustache would probably be the envy of most men.

2. I am retired and blog full time in my spare time.

3. I moved to Central Texas when I retired from a job as a civil servant in Orange County CA. And yes, I knew what I was doing....sort of.

4. I used to hang glide, go kayaking and I miss the ocean.

5. I've been to three continents. I still want to get to Ireland.

6. I used to smoke like a chimney...and I used to be thin!

7. Since reaching the age of "Oh, God!" umm yeah, I have a whole new respect for velcro.

8. When on vacation in Mexico, I babysat for Barney and Wilma's a friends Iguana .

9. I love sleeping in, and staying in my pj's all day....here in TX I would not be out of place in Walmart in my jammies....no I wouldn't.

10. I try to go to the movies once a week, sometimes bringing Phillip Johnny Bob. This is something I did less than once a year before retiring......it's a real luxury and I love it because I hate watching movies on TV.

10.1 My cell phone became my land line 6 years ago. Saving mucho dinero and talking more!

10.2 I love it when my granddaughter sends me a text message that was meant for her boyfriend. BWAAAAAA!

10.3 And for those of you who never knew, I'm the granddaughter of a wanted man!

FINALLY!

This morning I was prepared to tell you all about my beauty secrets. My morning routine of facial cleansing, massages and stimulation. What special, secret ingredients I use like purried earthworms with a hint of milk thistle when preparing my herbal mask. But, unfortunately, that post will have to be shelved for now.

Today, I actually have my very first "ASK GRANDMA J" question! At first I just stared at it and said to myself holy crap, now what? "ok, this is the moment you have been living for". I thought I would put the actual inquiry right here on my blog, and then answer it. I am so like new at this, so please just be their for me, this may not be easy.

"How can we ask Grandma J a question...any question...on her blog? And of course you are right, you can't badger a smoker into quitting. It's like taking Cialis: when the time is right, you're ready (so I'm told).
Love, OOXXXXXOO, Harvey"

So there you have it, my first question. From one of the few men who read my blog. Of course Harvey never comments on my blog, he is shy and would rather whisper his question in my ear.....my virtual ear. Now I'll do my best to answer Harvey's question because that's what ASK GRANDMA J loosely means in anything but plain English.

Harvey, thank you for your question. Now what exactly did you want to know? It looks like you basically answered your own question, because here it is! More importantly Harvey, I have a question for you. How is knowing when to quit smoking similar to knowing when to use this?

Inquiring minds need an answer Harvey. You can post it in the comment section. And hey....don't be so shy!!

Whew! That was easy!

REBIRTH REMEMBERED

Two years ago I quit smoking. I didn't want to. I had to. For over forty years cigarettes were my best friend. They went everywhere with me. They were there through thick and thin.

I started smoking in my junior year of high school. My two best friends and I would meet before school at a cafe across from the school and have hot chocolate and a smoke together. We all took the school bus from different areas of the town we lived in, and because we took the bus, we always arrived at school thirty minutes early. The place was packed with high school kids eating, studying, and smoking. We weren't rebels, this wasn't a gang hangout. My smoking buddy Pam was the Student Body Veep. We were a true cross section...from athletes to geeks and nerds.

Now, we shared a pack of cigarettes. Pamela was our supply machine....her parents smoked Kent, so that was what we smoked. My parents smoked Pall Mall Reds and we needed something with filters. Pamela's parents never looked in her purse, so she given the privilege of being the keeper of our stash. Margaret and I would each give Pam a dime every Friday. That covered the cost of the cigarettes with a little extra for Pam's efforts. We each had one smoke every morning, and sometimes there were afternoon smokes when we had stuff like practice or rehearsals for school activities. Funny, every once in a while Margaret would ask Pamela for a "count" you know, like an audit of our stash.

My one or two cigarettes a day habit progressed over the years to a two pack a day habit. Cigarettes went from 19 cents a pack to over $5. Here are a few facts from my own perspective, from my own personal experiences. No one elses.

• Raising the price and adding taxes does not deter most people from smoking. For most, it's a necessity. It's a staple.
• Another sneaky trick......destroying your mom's cigarettes won't make her quit.
• When visiting your mother when she's in the hospital with pneumonia. Stealing her cigarettes out of her purse when she goes to the bathroom doesn't mean she doesn't have any stashed (because she knows exactly what you will do when she leaves the room).
• Once hospitals banned smoking, the stairwells were littered with butts from patients, nurses and doctors alike. It's a closet thing, we all knew who the others were. We all knew who we could bum a cigarette from.
• Some patients were known to patronize the Del Taco across the street to have a smoke with their nachos.....in their nightgowns.
• Telling children that smokers are bad people....and beaming when they point at a smoker and make that announcement, won't get them to quit. Much better to tell children smoking is bad, not people who smoke (my opinion).

In short, smokers smoke because they are addicts. Smokers quit when it's their time to quit. Really! Badgering, intimidation, belittling, scorning.....doesn't work. I tried the patch, gum, lozenges, hypnosis (three times), and support groups. Lots of money spent because while doctors tell you smoking kills, the different deterrents aren't covered by your insurance. The patches aren't covered, none of the things I tried were covered. If I had been addicted to any other drug, my insurance would cover rehab. Nice rehab....like a spa. I actually asked my doctor to pretend I was a meth addict and put me inpatient...I'm serious!

How did I quit? After years of cursing God, (seriously, I did that) for allowing me to choose the wrong vice, I woke up one day and had no desire to smoke. God listened, and I had an epiphany (and yes, I did give thanks). It's the only way I can explain it. Being suspicious, I kept my cigarettes because I thought it was a "trick miracle". Every morning, I would get up, pour my coffee and stare at the carton......nothing! Yes, I wanted to smoke. Did I need one right then? NO. There were a few moments at work when I would get smokers brain freeze. I would call a smoker friend and ask them to meet me outside....."and bring your smokes". I would take one drag, and hate it...but I had to do it. And no, my friends weren't being bad, they didn't try to sway me either way, they understood. I say that because all smokers try to quit.

I was a product of the sixties. I didn't know anyone who smoked pot in high school but once I became a young adult, working, getting married having kids, owning a nice home in SoCA, I could name on one hand the people who didn't do pot. I was an odd ball. It was just the way it was. I didn't drink alcohol until I was in my thirties. I just didn't have a desire for it. Besides, my cigarettes satisfied my social addiction.

Even my doctor smoked. That's right, you could smoke anywhere....all professions had their smokers. Here, let me put a bit of reality satire into this post.

More vintage ads to show how far society has come. Some will make you gasp. Like these athletes:

Or actors who became President touted them.

This man wants to be President. He also wants to quit smoking. He has quit several times. It may have happened for good. Maybe not. Either way it will happen. In the event that he calls a friend and tells them to meet him outside, and bring their smokes, don't bug him.
Now.........I have to get ready for this:
That's right, aqua aerobics class!! Huh? That's not how you do it?

If you actually read this whole entry you will know that this tale is one persons experience, opinion and imperfect view. I'm like totally PC that way.