When Phillip Johnny Bob...



....gets down in the dumps the whole world seems a tad darker just keeps on spinning.

Grandma J would notice PJB staring our the window, confused over what was happening. This whole moving thing was new and foreign to him. He wondered just what did this new Spa place have, that the Compound didn't? Surely there couldn't be a better band of loonies this side of Albuquerque neighbors to entertain him there.

Grandma J was a bit put out to see all the junk Phil was force feeding himself. This plate of left over Easter candy troubled her. Especially since he didn't have candy in his Easter basket this year. Come to think of it, Phillip Johnny Bob didn't have an Easter basket.

Phillip Johnny Bob said it kept him "regular" was comfort food, and he was confused over this moving thing, and he knew JJ was riding around with Grandma J. He was jealous. He wanted to run away. That's when Grandma J came up with a solution...

He was going away on a well deserved trip. One that would take him to meet fiddler crabs new friends on the shores of Chesapeake Bay.

That's right, he's off to help Chesapeake Bay Woman plan the biggest blogfest ever....the Virgina Blogfest in Mathews, VA. Of course Big Hair Envy will lend a hand, and for that Phil is grateful.

Jack wasn't working at the Post Office and this guy told Grandma J not to take his picture. She obediently said, OK.




Too bad smug postal worker doesn't know that Grandma J doesn't use flash in well lit buildings.....Gotcha, Mr. Postman!

Travel safely, Phillip Johnny Bob. I hope you write home, and I will see you next month. JJ says good riddance have fun dude.

Because You Asked For It

That's right, the final anti-climatic chapter in As Grandma J's World Moves. To be honest, I'd rather tell you about JJ's genital warts the trip I didn't take to Denver, or the one I cancelled to Las Vegas.

Not that any of this is worth repeating, I would like to refresh the whole fiasco in bullet points from day one.

1. Grandma J decides to move out of The Compound to The Spa The names should say it all.

2. Grandma J's neighbor jumps on the bandwagon and secures herself a lease at The Spa. As casual friends, this is not a bad thing.

3. GJ mentions to Deceitful Neighbor, as she treats her to lunch at the appropriately named En Fuego, that she hates moving, and how she'll miss the luxury of her SIL moving her, but with her bad back it's worth it to hire professional movers.

4. The next day, Biotch Neighbor calls GJ all excited.....she thinks her son just might move both of them if they move on the same day. But GJ isn't sure it's fair to the son for Greedy Neighbor to put him on the spot by offering his services. She let's Chimney Smoking Neighbor know she'll pay him $200 which should make the three mile move worth taking a day off from his job at Lowe's unloading pallets.

5. The deal is sealed! Then Crafty Neighbor has a bright idea! Since GJ has an SUV, they can help each other move small stuff by using GJ's SUV to move the stuff that won't fit in Nasty Neighbor's car......like room size rugs that have birthed three litters of kitties. GJ said she really didn't think that was a good idea.

6. The next day the Sinister Neighbor calls GJ and says her son would love to move GJ, but he can't do any take downs or hook ups, like washers and dryers, or beds. And no small stuff like drawers, totes blah, blah.

7. So, Grandma J tells Evil Neighbor that maybe this is becoming too much for the son, and Grandma J will just get her own movers...for the sake of friendship.

8. "Oh No!" The Neighbor cackles! "He's really counting on the money, and already spent it."

9. Grandma J, bites her lip just to make it through....with the help of her daughter.

Now....it's moving day. Grandma J calls Sleeping Neighbor at 9:00 AM. What's up? Well it seems Mamma's Baby Boy wants to go out to breakfast to kill time because his helper doesn't get out of school until 11:00 AM. huh?

What the??? Ok, I say to myself, simmer down....relax, there is still plenty of small stuff to cart over. As Grandma J is leaving the old place on her second trip, she sees the truck pulling in....it's a little after noon. She calls Sarcastic Neighbor only to find out the "friend" baled on her Adorable Son...but fear not, another friend is on his way. GJ tells her she has to stay at the new place and wait for the cable guy who's scheduled between 1-5, but she left her place unlocked so the guys can get the furniture....One couch, one dining table (no chairs) one washer, one dryer, one full size bed (broken down) and one high boy dresser (no drawers). Six friggin pieces of furniture.

Lucky for Grandma J, they load Witchy Neighbor's stuff first, which means GJ's stuff comes off first....such a small but sweet morsel.

When they arrive, Grandma J tells Nose-bent Neighbor that there might be another new neighbor moving in because this is what was parked across from her apartment by the units under construction.....

A nice Dodge Ram pick-up with shiny chrome wheels. Irritated Neighbor tells Grandma J that the truck belongs to her poor excuse of a son. A bit confused Grandma J asks why he couldn't move her rugs and big/little stuff. The answer? Are you ready? Hopefully you are sitting down. He couldn't help because his truck is new and he doesn't want it getting all scratched up. In other words he's lazy. BTW, did Grandma J tell you she has a brand new vehicle too?

After all the moving was done, Grandma J decides to hobble to her car and drive to Walgreen's for some thermal wraps. Not so fast! Money Grabbing Neighbor calls and wants to know if Grandma J can stop over and pay for her half of the gas for the rental truck. Gee, can this wait until morning? Well no, not really.....so Grandma J walks over to Arsehole Neighbor's apartment and writes her a check for $12. That's right, the gas was $24 for driving maybe 20 miles, and that's a stretch. Grandma J had a few choice words before stomping off.

Now for the kicker? Yeah, that's right....there is another turd they dropped on my plate.

When her son took my washer and dryer out of the old apartment, he took the doors off and left them off. This is what Grandma J's laundry closet should look like.....

I called No Longer A Friend Neighbor and told her that her Loser Son forgot to put the doors back on, and could he swing by and put them up sometime over the weekend. She bluntly said, NO.

Oh, one more thing, he didn't hook up the washer and dryer in the new apartment...no he didn't. But a friend did.

Now, if you are still awake, aren't you glad you asked? The good news is, this was a good lesson.

The other good news is, Grandma J went to HEB for groceries and bought herself these....

.....and these with a pint of Haagen Daz coffee ice cream on the side.

Amen.

Moving One Car Load At A Time

Because, when you neighbor is moving at the same time, and says, "hey, let's get one big truck and my son will get a buddy and move us both."

Grandma J thought that was a pretty nice idea, and said, "I was going to hire movers because I can't be doing heavy lifting with my bad back, but if it's not too much for your son, then I'll pay him $200 but make sure he doesn't mind moving both of us."

It just so happens, the neighbors son is more than willing to move Grandma J for that amount, but it doesn't include the truck. No problem, Grandma J reserves the biggest truck....27'. But getting down to the wire, the rules changed. He'll move furniture only, no boxes, totes, drawers, computers, or other small stuff....

Now, it's all a matter of one load at a time. But when Grandma J's daughter heard that the neighbor's son decided that he wouldn't move small stuff, and no unhooking and re-hooking, or any assembly like beds was not included, she got mad. AND..... he's only making one three mile trip in the truck, well, it made her madder.

She was so mad, she told grandma J to hire her own movers out of the local paper for $60 hour, with a three hour minimum. But that wasn't an option because Grandma J already told her neighbor that maybe it was too much for her son to move them both, and she would hire her won movers....the neighbor said her son was really counting on the money, so it was too late to back out.

So, Grandma J's middle daughter took off work, and came to the rescue.




Loading and unloading all kinds of small stuff. Back and forth over and over....


And no, she's not a professional drawer stacker




And as you can see it really doesn't matter because by the looks of those drawers Grandma J is not a professional clothes in the drawer folder. Seen as she walks past the guest bedroom.




Before leaving, middle daughter wants to show off her battle scars.....


And the ones here, and here......


Especially the ones on her legs. Grandma J knows how lucky she is to have such a good daughter.


Tomorrow A-Ron has a visit to the orthodontist game on his city league team. What should be interesting is how the coach, aka Mr. Noodle, treats A-Ron. That's if the coach shows up at all. This same coach coaches A-Ron's competitive team too. Last Saturday at practice, there was an incident.

By incident, Grandma J is talking about A-Ron beating the crap out of smacking the coaches son for throwing his new cleats over the fence, and then punching A-Ron when he confronted him.

The two boys and coach were suspended for a tournament. Then the coach quit!! Then A-Ron's suspension was changed to just one day. Weather permitting, he will play on Sunday.....his birthday. I'll report back on the Wednesday night game.


* Grandma J does not condone fighting between chihuahuas teammates, or any mates.

* It was 97 degrees here today.

Meet My Neighbors

Howdy, y'all!
I crack myself up when I try to act all Texan.

Grandma J has lived in Texas a little over two years, and figured she'd get to know some of the locals. No, not the ones in the Compound..... the real locals.




And just so you know, Grandma J is not one to ride any horse, let along a bucking bronco, but she did own a Ford Bronco once.

Now that I have your attention, let me tell you about the local neighbors that I pass by almost every single day. I don't know what to make of them living on a small piece of property, surrounded by a housing development, but hey....if it's fine with them, it's ok by me.




These are Texas longhorns. There are six of them that I know of on this property. You can see homes in the background.




This longhorn is my favorite....and yes, they do stare at you. I didn't get too close, because I wasn't sure if they would wander over like the bulls JJ and I stopped to see a while back. I don't know how these guys would react to JJ...because JJ isn't exactly quiet when he sees potential playmates.

Grandma J's new digs, which we will refer to as The Spa, is a short hike from thise guys. One day she hopes to get up the nerve to ask the owners if she can pet them.

BEST BUDS, or......

....maybe it's BFFs




Yesterday, while Grandma J was attending to A-Ron, and his triple extraction, she was too busy to visit much with JJ.

She did let him and his best buddy, Phillip Johnny Bob go for a spin in her new Escape....

because a favorite pass time around the neighborhood is sniffing the genitals of out the car window for other dogs.

Dude....your seat belt!!!

Back at the house, once again Grandma J lost contact with JJ......he seemed to disappear from his usual mode of being under foot front and center where all action was taking place.

Tiptoeing upstairs, this is what Grandma J found.......

JJ and Phillip Johnny Bob, staring out the window. This window in the loft at Grandma J's daughter's home, is on the side of the house and looks down into the neighbor's back yard.

Grandma J doesn't know these neighbors, they come and they go, always screaming at each other in Portuguese smiling and waving, Hi .

Back up to the loft an hour later, the guys were still fixed on whatever was in that back yard. Grandma J decided to take a look, because nothing could be that interesting....no, nothing.

Wait! I've seen that car, and that woman before! It's Oprah....and, what? I see something else moving around...

OMG! It's a big dog......a Great Dane! Could this blogger she be my daughter's neighbor?

Just about then my daughter starts calling my name.....I awake, and realize I was dreaming!

or was I?

Easy Go...Easy Come
It was sad leaving So CA...

My whole reason for going on this short but sweet junket was to babysit so HSH could go to Dove Chocolate School and a Dove Convention, then spend a few days with my son and his family, and meet up with old friends that I miss terribly.

Things started out fine with am American Girl Birthday luncheon...and a Superbowl bash the next day.

Then I watched the same Beauty nap after a long day at school.

I got to the beach once with Little one.


...and delighted in her love of her baby.

I was amazed at how grown up Pooper was with his typical eight year old love of Nintendo DS. And spent time eating junk and seeing a movie with some awesome kids.

My daughter-in-law was recovering from surgery, and before we could even think about having much fun...


she ended back in the hospital with internal bleeding problems...to keep it simple.



This replaced any plans for personal pleasure with visits to the hospital.

The weather turned cold and wet...reflecting the turn of events.

If you were are one of my friends that I neglected to call..I'm sad that I couldn't pop in for a hug and maybe go to lunch at In N Out.

Rebeckah, my neighbor wouldn't dare try to infringe on my patio while I'm gone, ever again...no never!

Oh, and once I get caught up on dirty laundry I'm planning to leave again the end of March for Denver. I'm gonna drive this time....maybe spend a day in Santa Fe on the way. Of course I have to honk my horn at Hollywood as a pass through Albuquerque.... Wanna come along?

LET'S PLAY A GAME!

It's Thursday, and most of you working stiffs have one more day until freedom.....that would be Friday in the real world.

I invited my neighbor over to give her some bakery and ice cream stuff that was in my freezer, because I don't like the temptation staring me in the face every time I open the freezer....and I open it often just so I can stare at the ice cream.

When I opened the freezer to get the bag of goodies out for her, she gasped!! At first I thought she was having a coronary or something....until she pointed at the freezer door shelf.

That's why I want to play a game....we can all play without any pushing or shoving. Those are the best kind of games, unless you still have a bit of sibling rivalry going on. In that case, please invite your sibling or a stand-in to join you. Are you ready? Let's play........


What's In Your Freezer!



Since I live alone I had Philip Johnny Bob open the door for me so I could take the pictures. He is a joy, isn't he?





I didn't tell my neighbor that right before Christmas I had twice as much Starbucks Christmas Blend. Just the thought of running out scares me.


The rest of my freezer is not so shocking.....no, not so much.

Now, tell me, or better yet, show me....What's In Your Freezer?

Blow-dried Bunny

A man walked into his garden one day to find his dog with a piece of dirty fur in its mouth. Examination proved that the dirty piece of fur was actually a prize rabbit belonging to the neighbor. It was very dead, although no obvious injury could be seen.

The man was horrified and felt terrible. He took the rabbit inside, shampooed and blow dried it, then quickly snuck next door to put it back in the hutch before the neighbor got home.

A few days went by and he heard nothing. Then on the weekend he was talking over the fence to his neighbor, who he said that a strange thing had happened to him that week. When he came home from work one night he found his prize rabbit dead in its hutch.

"Oh, no," says the man. "How awful!"

"That's not the strange part," says the neighbor. "What's weird is that it had died earlier that morning and I buried it before going to work!"

Of course JJ has this all important question for the dead bunny...

LET'S PLAY..... Remember when..

Remember when I showed you guys my lovely Christmas tree?



Remember? It's just a simple fake tree with several hundred lights.....


Remember, I have my silly garland around my door and window...with attached lights?


I love it simple. Now, I'm showing you all this because I have to rant about my neighbor again.


Remember my neighbor? The same one I ranted about last spring, shortly after I moved in here at the compound?


Remember her side of the porch? And the reason it looked so cluttered was because I didn't appreciate her storing her crap exotic plants and mountain bike birdhouses on my side....

Remember my side? She warned me that it would take a while to situate and organize her stuff.

The picture says "my side after" because it was taken last year after I asked her to remove her stuff.

Well yeah, I guess it takes a while to straighten up. She put garland similar to mine up because she wanted out sides to match. uh .....O.K.A.Y.

Ok, good job remembering! That's what I love about you.

We're not done yet....


Remember when I stayed in this Princess room last summer?

Remember how I not only felt like a Princess....

but I actually looked like one too?


Well, I have to visit them again. I'm not staying overnight. Gary sounded disappointed. Who's Gary?

Remember? He was my personal man in waiting when I stayed in the Princess room.

OK, how many got all the "Remembers" right?

* Gift suggestion #7 has been posted! Check it out because you have less than three weeks until Christmas.