Amenities...demand them


When JJ moved to the Spa to live with Grandma J, he had to give a $400 deposit, and is obligated to pay $20 a month rent!    That's right.....he has to pay rent, even though the floozy in the next building over pays nothing extra for her live-in boyfriend!  

Now, Grandma J has b&*ched and moaned about the lack of landscaping and other essential amenities that have been visibly absent for over a year now.   The original contractor went belly up, and the parent company ended up in bankruptcy......can you say cry me a river?

A new owner came on site a month ago....raising the rent and upping the pet fees.  

JJ wants his $20 worth of amenities.......so he made some demands.

That's right.....he made a few demands....

To his own personal specifications............

Including the mandatory landscaping...........

Grandma J wants to know JJ's secret

Who's That Knocking At My Door?

Saturday morning, I was jolted out of bed by a constant rapping at my door. By rapping I don't mean LL Kool Ade, or Big Daddy Bitty Boo. I mean knocking as in "Let me in...WOOOOEEEE".

Since the Spa is gated, and the only people with a remote for the gate are every friend and ex-girlfriend of Mr. Holmes the residence, Grandma J was a bit surprised by the racket on the other side of the door.

When Grandma J opened the door, there was an envelope in a crinkled and tattered condition...with a claw protruding....causing all the ruckus.

Upon closer observation...and of course without the aid of her morning coffee, Grandma J realized it was her friend the crab! The very crab she adopted at BlogFest in Mathews, VA.





The very crab she thought JJ would love to have as a playmate and constant companion.






Until it was apparent that JJ was letting his inner wolf surface, and had other motives besides friendship.

Do you remember how bad Grandma J felt? Remember how she cradled her little crab friend and brought him to the Crustation Clinic for immediate first aid?

What Grandma J didn't tell you was that she sent the injured crab back to Mathews, VA for expert care and recuperation with Chesapeake Bay Woman...the queen of crab love and compassion.






And the healing and constant nurturing paid off. My little crab was sent back to me better than new!






He bore a bill immediately due and payable lovely note from the Chesapeake Bay Family. It was the sweetest note, and Grandma J will always be grateful for the care they gave crab.






Grandma J let crab read his "other mother's" blog, and let him know she was fine, but missed him.

Now, while Grandma J is thankful for crab's complete physical healing...she's reminded of his dark side. Yes, it's apparent he has a very dark side. First of all JJ has never gotten aggressive with a crustation before. In fact JJ has never had a desire to hurt anyone except Keith, my daughter's neighbor in this whole wide world.

Another sign that Grandma J has to keep an eye on crab, is some of his bizarre behavior at BlogFest.....





Here's a reminder of some of his actions. And, there are plenty more where these came from.

For now, I can't wait to tell JJ and Phillip Johnny Bob that crab is back, and ready to be part of the family here at the Spa.

When It Rains: Parts I & II




Grandma J loves nothing more that a nice strong rain, falling from the heavens to quench the thirst of Mother Nature's green acres. Yeah, I made that up....




Remember how happy Grandma J was when Mother Nature blessed this sweet little blooming weed, rescuing it from a tragic painful shriveled up death? Of course, flooding the whole friggin' swamp, previously referred to as The Spa, was part of the whole package. And, we survived!

Just as Grandma J was singing the praises of all things holy and good, Mother Nature decided to unload her whole kit and caboodle on the whole friggin' swamp.....







Isn't this special?? The water was flush with Grandma J's patio. Did Grandma J ever tell you her patio was only six feet deep?

Nope, she wouldn't lie about something that important. Looky here! This view is from inside the kitchen door! I think I'm swim on over and see if the neighbor has any extra Haagen Daz.

This is Huey, the man who does it all. Huey thought he was going home because after all it was only 8:30 P.M. Silly Huey....who would have thought the wind would decide that this was a good time to flatten the flag pole?

A Tuesday Chock Full...

...of stuff you should have known on Friday.

We all know that Grandma J went to a Friday Matinee last Friday. Coincidence? Probably!

Despite her drug induced haze, and by drug induced we're talking about her wimpy dose of a half Vicodin tablet, she actually saw the movie and basically remembers. Grandma J always thinks that if she takes half the dose, she will only feel half as loony. Silly girl.




Hangover was funny as hell! OOPS! Grandma J just said hell, and she attributes it to the fact that she hasn't taken her meds yet this movie was just that funny....and a bit raunchy, thus the hell reference.

You all should know the story line by now, since the movie came out a month ago....A soon to be groom decides to have his bachelor party in Las Vegas...and we all know what happens in Las Vegas is supposed to stay in Las Vegas......and it does.

Of course, and you probably already know, the groom is the only normal member of this wedding party. He has two friends, one is a school teacher at an all boys preppy type school, and the other is a nerdy hen pecked Dr......who is really just a dentist. The final member of this entourage is the soon-to-be groom's soon-to-be brother-in-law......who is a couple of bubbles off center, and possibly a perv.

They check into a fancy upscale suite at Caesar's Palace. The suite was more that a suite...with a fancy name, but remember, Grandma J wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to details due to her drug problem.

From there Grandma J pretty much misses out on the who dang bachelor party, because the next thing she remembers, it's morning.....

Yeah, it's morning in the movie. They didn't invite us to the party, but we had one heck of a time trying to figure out what the blazes went on all night! The fun is like one of those who dunnit murder mysteries, without the murder, or the who. Are you confused yet?



The movie was hilarious, and a tad raunchy...reminding Grandma J of out of control college frat boys, more than grown, established men....except for the weird brother-in-law to be.

So go see the movie, and laugh your head off because Grandma J doesn't want to give away any of the laugh lines....

Now, on to something else that will make this whole post worth your well invested time...........

Right after Grandma J took her half dose of drugs yesterday, she sat down to read a zillion blogs. She has her laptop situated in a way so it's facing out the window, so she doesn't miss any of the excitement in the hood.

Especially, since she is one of a handful of residence at the Spa. On top of the scarcity of people, no one lives beyond Grandma J's apartment, because they are still in the construction phase.

Something walked past Grandma J's window....she thew on some clothes, and grabbed her camera.......



When she got outside, she was still able to capture a picture of this baby deer! Then she ran back inside to call Animal Control, but by the time she actually talked to someone they told her they don't go out for deer sightings because a slew of them live in the deep and heavily vegetated creek that borders the Spa. Let's hope the baby found his mommy.

GAME CALLED FOR LIGHTNING

That's what the umps said, and A-Ron's baseball game was over! Just like that!

The score was 7-7 with A-Ron responsible for one of those runs. Coach Noodle wasn't too happy that the ump called the game. No siree......he would have preferred seeing Grandma J fry to a crisp sitting in the bleachers made out of aluminum.

The thunder and Lightning was nonstop, but we didn't get the baseball size hail like some neighboring towns. Grandma J went outside to take a few shots of her apartment in the night after the rain subsided a bit. With the temperature at 90, and the humidity at 79, it's like a sauna. Here is a picture of my new apartment at night....for those who asked.

You can see the lack of front yard, making it easy for future fellow senior citizens to drive their car right through Grandma J's living room window. Actually, windows in order...first two living room, then 1st bedroom. The next building, barely in the picture is a bank of garages....grandma J grabbed the first one for a price.







Don't you love the blinding flood lights? Luckily that aren't that bright in real life! This is a view from the far end of Grandma J's apartment. That corner room is the first bedroom with lots of windows on two sides. Beyond that, the two windows are bedroom #2. That garage door is Grandma J's garage. It's only a single car garage, because Grandma J's car is single.....duh!

Here is a view from Grandma J's back patio. Can we all agree that this is a really nice backyard? The leasing office didn't want Grandma J to pick this particular building or apartment because the landscaping wasn't in yet....but Grandma J is no one's fool. There are very few garages...like one for every ten apartments...and she wanted one, and it had to be next to her apartment, not "within walking distance". Because, helloooooo, just exactly how far is walking distance anyway?

These are empty apartments across from Grandma J's apartment, and they are not quite finished yet. Grandma J is fine with that because she knows for a fact that the construction guys who show up every morning are much more pleasing to the eyes than any future tenants. It's starting to rain again, see those drops on the concrete? How about the ones on Grandma J's camera lens?

Tomorrow morning the cable guy is coming to put a "drop outlet" on a different wall, because not everyone wants their TV on the same wall. Yes, in case you were wondering, this is the same cable guy who was supposed to come today.

When Phillip Johnny Bob...



....gets down in the dumps the whole world seems a tad darker just keeps on spinning.

Grandma J would notice PJB staring our the window, confused over what was happening. This whole moving thing was new and foreign to him. He wondered just what did this new Spa place have, that the Compound didn't? Surely there couldn't be a better band of loonies this side of Albuquerque neighbors to entertain him there.

Grandma J was a bit put out to see all the junk Phil was force feeding himself. This plate of left over Easter candy troubled her. Especially since he didn't have candy in his Easter basket this year. Come to think of it, Phillip Johnny Bob didn't have an Easter basket.

Phillip Johnny Bob said it kept him "regular" was comfort food, and he was confused over this moving thing, and he knew JJ was riding around with Grandma J. He was jealous. He wanted to run away. That's when Grandma J came up with a solution...

He was going away on a well deserved trip. One that would take him to meet fiddler crabs new friends on the shores of Chesapeake Bay.

That's right, he's off to help Chesapeake Bay Woman plan the biggest blogfest ever....the Virgina Blogfest in Mathews, VA. Of course Big Hair Envy will lend a hand, and for that Phil is grateful.

Jack wasn't working at the Post Office and this guy told Grandma J not to take his picture. She obediently said, OK.




Too bad smug postal worker doesn't know that Grandma J doesn't use flash in well lit buildings.....Gotcha, Mr. Postman!

Travel safely, Phillip Johnny Bob. I hope you write home, and I will see you next month. JJ says good riddance have fun dude.

May I Have Your Attention, PLEASE!

OK, so I tricked you with the naked sign. Sorry, but I just wanted to get your attention for an important announcement.

Grandma J is moving. Not really earth shattering news, right? But she's like actually moving as in eating, sleeping, showering, and cleaning house at a different location. By different location, she means she's left The Compound for The Spa....and there's no turning back. Of course, she's actually leaving Thursday morning because that's when the "movers" are showing up.

I wanted to post a sign, so everyone would know that I may be MIA or AWOL for a day or two. You know, service interrupted. This is the best I could do on my budget........

Just so you know, I'll be checking your blogs on my cell phone, so be careful what you say in my absence but even though it lets me type out a comment, it never publishes them.....ARGH!

Moving One Car Load At A Time

Because, when you neighbor is moving at the same time, and says, "hey, let's get one big truck and my son will get a buddy and move us both."

Grandma J thought that was a pretty nice idea, and said, "I was going to hire movers because I can't be doing heavy lifting with my bad back, but if it's not too much for your son, then I'll pay him $200 but make sure he doesn't mind moving both of us."

It just so happens, the neighbors son is more than willing to move Grandma J for that amount, but it doesn't include the truck. No problem, Grandma J reserves the biggest truck....27'. But getting down to the wire, the rules changed. He'll move furniture only, no boxes, totes, drawers, computers, or other small stuff....

Now, it's all a matter of one load at a time. But when Grandma J's daughter heard that the neighbor's son decided that he wouldn't move small stuff, and no unhooking and re-hooking, or any assembly like beds was not included, she got mad. AND..... he's only making one three mile trip in the truck, well, it made her madder.

She was so mad, she told grandma J to hire her own movers out of the local paper for $60 hour, with a three hour minimum. But that wasn't an option because Grandma J already told her neighbor that maybe it was too much for her son to move them both, and she would hire her won movers....the neighbor said her son was really counting on the money, so it was too late to back out.

So, Grandma J's middle daughter took off work, and came to the rescue.




Loading and unloading all kinds of small stuff. Back and forth over and over....


And no, she's not a professional drawer stacker




And as you can see it really doesn't matter because by the looks of those drawers Grandma J is not a professional clothes in the drawer folder. Seen as she walks past the guest bedroom.




Before leaving, middle daughter wants to show off her battle scars.....


And the ones here, and here......


Especially the ones on her legs. Grandma J knows how lucky she is to have such a good daughter.


Tomorrow A-Ron has a visit to the orthodontist game on his city league team. What should be interesting is how the coach, aka Mr. Noodle, treats A-Ron. That's if the coach shows up at all. This same coach coaches A-Ron's competitive team too. Last Saturday at practice, there was an incident.

By incident, Grandma J is talking about A-Ron beating the crap out of smacking the coaches son for throwing his new cleats over the fence, and then punching A-Ron when he confronted him.

The two boys and coach were suspended for a tournament. Then the coach quit!! Then A-Ron's suspension was changed to just one day. Weather permitting, he will play on Sunday.....his birthday. I'll report back on the Wednesday night game.


* Grandma J does not condone fighting between chihuahuas teammates, or any mates.

* It was 97 degrees here today.