Girls Night Out

That was the plan anyway, and believe me when I say Grandma J let's nothing get in the way of a good time.

This post might be a bit long, so go fix that chocolate martini, pour that carafe of wine, or pop open a nice cold brewski. Now pull up a chair and relax, and don't waste too much time or you'll miss the nine o'clock mass golf tournament on TV in the morning.

Since I'm moving at the end of the month, and I'm supposed to drive to Tucson June 1st with my granddaughter and JJ co-piloting, then continuing on to Las Vegas, things were getting a bit hairy and hectic. Normally juggling and multi-tasking is my middle name, but my Vegas buddy, (1SGT John's mommy) is heading to Miami the second week in June, and with the H1N1 swine flu floating around, I figured the scheduling was just too hectic to even pursue. So, I made a deal with my granddaughter. We'd scratch the trip, and I would take her shopping at her favorite mall in Austin, because it's only 77.3 miles away. Not only would I take her to her favorite mall, I would let her buy all the Wet 'n Wild makeup that she can fit in her Coach purse some new summer clothes. And, she could bring a friend.

The deal was cut immediately without any need for negotiations....and we were off.

The girls decided that it would be more fun if we flew down I-35 with all the windows down....and the moon roof open! Then we played loud Country Western music as we sang, la....la...la...la, all the way to Austin.

See? la...la....la.....la!

Then we switched to show tunes....because granddaughter's BFF is quite the dramatic singer...la....la....la....la!

Grandma J was happy as a pig in manure, because for the first time in ages, she recognized the music, and sang along.....la....la....la....la.



When we got to the mall Grandma J left the girls in Nordstrom's as she headed off to J C Penney's Coldwater Creek and Macy's.

We met back at square one when the mall closed, with square one being the Jr. department of Nordstrom's. We were all hungry, and decided to have a good all American Mexican dinner at Abuelo's.

The girls had piña coladas ............



Dinner with plenty of shrimp, fajitas, guacamole and maraschino cherries wasn't complete without plenty of chocolate. Yes, they sat this close throughout the meal, even though we had a huge booth.

We get back on the road at about 10:30 PM........that's when the real fun began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grandma J decides to take the back roads home because it's really dark and isolated bound to excite the girls and maybe they will want to open the windows again and sing kumbaya show tunes, and giggle.




Here is the route to Heaven paved with chocolate the mall. Just your routine 77.3 miles of good old I-35.



This is Grandma J's big idea of a fun drive home....did I mention it was 10:30 at night? Did I forget to say that the alternate route is a two lane highway? How about the fact that Texas doesn't have any stimulus money for street lights...because Texans don't like payback. OK, I made that part up.



All of a sudden the light became dark, and the singers fell asleep were rendered mute, and Grandma J's bright idea was snuffed out in an instant when she came upon a closed road.....because a bridge was out. Back peddling wasn't a big problem, but it was a problem just the same. Big or small, a problem is a problem. There aren't too many FM routes on my way home, but there are plenty of CR roads, but many go nowhere, and this wasn't the time to explore.....I save those trips for JJ. Grandma J wasn't lost in the official sense of the word....besides, she has GPS. Even though it's always been a real friend to Grandma J......last night her GPS asked for a PIN NUMBER! Huh?


That's what made the alternate route a bit unpredictable. Grandma J kept a keen eye on her compass.....because it said she was definitely heading S/E instead of north. Clinging to the E part of S/E, Grandma J forged ahead......into the light. Yeah, when you are on rural roads, a town several miles ahead can be detected by a glow off in the distance, but you knew that.


So with the surroundings looking familiar, excitement filled the air, and Grandma J started singing show tunes as she went faster and faster....

That's when the red and blue lights started flashing, and the party was over.

The officer told Grandma J that she was going 67 mph in a 45mph zone.

Are you wondering how Grandma J got away with just a warning?

She cried like a baby. Yes, she did.

"...Grandma tried to poison us"


That's the message that my middle daughter relayed to me over the phone.

I told you I would report back on how my guinea pigs grand kids liked my fortune cookies. Well, here is the blow by blow, starting with my granddaughter.



first she had to open it up to read her fortune......"what? my dog is going to be a daddy? When?"

Then she took a nibble out of her cookie....

Me: So, is it good ?



Granddaughter: Uh, sure....it's good.

Me: Take another bite, then chew it and swallow.



Granddaughter: Ok....bites a tiny bite...moves it around with in her mouth.

Me: Now swallow!!

Granddaughter: I did

Me: Let me see...open wide. WIDER! lift up your tongue.

Granddaughter closes mouth, closes eyes....swallows hard!


She sits down on the stairs and JJ consoles her.

Now the boys come in. You can always count on the boys to be straight forward and tell you like it is.

Me: Hey guys, I made you some fortune cookies from scratch.



Grandson: What's scratch?

Me: That means homemade....try one. Read your fortune first.

Grandson's friend reads fortune: ...HUH! "you accidentally wake up 30 lbs lighter.."



Grandson's friend: No way can that happen, I can't lose weight and play football.

Me: How do the cookies taste.


Grandson: Gross




Grandson's friend: They taste like poison....are they poison?

Grandma J knew they were gross. They didn't look like, or taste like fortune cookies...at all!

Easy Go...Easy Come
It was sad leaving So CA...

My whole reason for going on this short but sweet junket was to babysit so HSH could go to Dove Chocolate School and a Dove Convention, then spend a few days with my son and his family, and meet up with old friends that I miss terribly.

Things started out fine with am American Girl Birthday luncheon...and a Superbowl bash the next day.

Then I watched the same Beauty nap after a long day at school.

I got to the beach once with Little one.


...and delighted in her love of her baby.

I was amazed at how grown up Pooper was with his typical eight year old love of Nintendo DS. And spent time eating junk and seeing a movie with some awesome kids.

My daughter-in-law was recovering from surgery, and before we could even think about having much fun...


she ended back in the hospital with internal bleeding problems...to keep it simple.



This replaced any plans for personal pleasure with visits to the hospital.

The weather turned cold and wet...reflecting the turn of events.

If you were are one of my friends that I neglected to call..I'm sad that I couldn't pop in for a hug and maybe go to lunch at In N Out.

Rebeckah, my neighbor wouldn't dare try to infringe on my patio while I'm gone, ever again...no never!

Oh, and once I get caught up on dirty laundry I'm planning to leave again the end of March for Denver. I'm gonna drive this time....maybe spend a day in Santa Fe on the way. Of course I have to honk my horn at Hollywood as a pass through Albuquerque.... Wanna come along?

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE.....NOT!

The airlines cooperated, and I got to Seattle without a hitch.

Met up with my friends twenty minutes later......Here they come, John, Jan and Patty......the others are stragglers.

All seven of us with baggage climb into an SUV that seats eight, or five with luggage...but who's counting? Lynne drives us from Seattle to Vancouver....a nice long ride We Stop for lunch in La Conner....which is in probably in Canada...or else it's in Washington State. Either way, it's on the way.

Once we arrive in Vancouver....we check into the Comfort Inn right downtown in the ritzy Gothic rave party district part of town. The hotel lobby is up about ten steps. You don't have to worry about being handicap compliant in Canada...so up the stairs we carry our junk.

Because we're really cheap shits a close bunch, of friends we decide to all bunk in one really big room. John and I took the couch(s).

We arrive at the port, turn in the SUV, then stand in the parking structure hoping someone helps us...not happening.

Once on board we head to the all you can eat buffet for lunch..then afterwards up to the promenade deck to say good-bye to Vancouver....

Nice lighthouse.....

Foggy evening.... with a rainbow.

We headed for the Welcome show Friday night...It was nice, really just an introduction to upcoming entertainment.

This is Grandma J with Gavin, he's the cruise director and my new BFF on the cruise. We watched the sunset on the water, since in wasn't in the sky.....we played a bit of blackjack later on, then headed to bed.

Today is Monday...because nothing happened on Sunday except for more buffets and a musical tribute to Elton John, Barry Manlow, and some other oldies...like Liberace.
I got up at five a.m. to take pictures of the ship pulling into port here in Ketchikan.....I do that for my readers. This is a small town of approx 7,700 people according to the city bus driver. The tour buses are 15 dollars, the city bus is 50 cents.
Our Ship, the Sapphire Princess

I stopped here at the Christmas shop to get a few ornaments.

Then on to this quaint cafe to get on the Internet. There is an Internet cafe on ship, but Grandma J isn't spending fifty cents a minute to blog....So I'll try to blog in ports.

And the weather? Sunny, in the 60's...no need for even a sweater...so far so good.

THE TAIL WAGGING THE DOG
or as they say in the world of County Government, The Mailroom runs the Agency.

And that's how it seems to be. That's how it's always seemed to be all the years I worked at this particular agency. Now, no one would admit this because how embarrassing would that be for an Agency Director?

Here's a few examples to explain things to you.


This is the door to the mail room. The hours minutes posted plain as day.

The rules are simple......just because the door is closed, and you are forbidden to knock, doesn't mean you can call us or email us. It's not our fault that you have a binding contract that has to be postmarked today. And no, we really don't care that you can't predict when an earthquake will hit, or a mudslide happen. The mailroom is not responsible for acts of Mother Nature! WE AREN'T GODS!

This is they guy who makes the rules. He has worked in the mailroom for 33 years and knows his stuff so don't even try to plead with him for a favor.
These are his helpers who distribute the mail. In a pinch, you can usually locate them by finding out which floor or department is having a potluck, baby shower, birthday or retirement party. These guys can sniff out food within a three mile radius.

Now, I don't work there anymore.....I retired over a year ago. I have friends there and I like to send birthday cards to them. Oh sure, I could send them to their homes, but I don't. One reason is because they like to shout out "Oh lookie, Grandma J sent me a birthday card!" and then someone else will say, "Oh wow, did she send money can I read it?"

Yeah, they still remember me. I even make arrangements to go to the blood bank with my old donor buddy when I visit.

I know the rules and I know the mailroom opens all mail looking for money, for security reasons. And then they have Security check it out.

So, I put a message on the back of the envelopes, and of course my name and return address is on the front.....what I'm saying is....they know me!

My last birthday recipient, Xeroxed the envelope and emailed it to me saying, "Once again, the mailroom accidentally opened the card you sent." This is it! Gosh darn it, I miss those mail guys! Big time!

NO FLY ZONE....
..or big black hole

I hate to obsess about things, especially things that should be fairly simple. I don't subscribe to the Murphy's Law Club where if anything can go wrong it will. I am a Virgo detail person, and usually take every scenario into account when planning things like vacations.

Some of you might vaguely remember me mentioning a cruise I'm taking to Alaska in September. Aboard this ship.

The Sapphire Princess. With about ten eight friends from So CA. We are meeting in Seattle, then we will rent two vans and drive to Vancouver B.C., where we reserved three rooms for the night. We don't board the ship until 4:40 PM the next day so we can do a bit of sightseeing.

I booked this cruise back in December, and it was suggested by the cruise agent, at American Airlines, that I wait a while before booking my flights. With all the bruhaha with fuel prices, and the airlines charging extra for things like seats luggage, and the rumor that they might charge fat people more, I finally booked my flights on May 26th.

Remember me telling you about flying to Seattle from Texas, which requires changing planes in Dallas? And, remember me mentioning flying back to Orange County CA after the cruise? Good...just stay with me on this. I board my first flight on American Airlines out of the small regional airport where I live at 5:30 A.M., changing planes in Dallas, then on to Seattle.

The cruise ends in Whittier Alaska, docking at 12:30 A.M, The shuttle to the airport in Anchorage takes two hours, give or take. So I book a flight out at 7:30 A.M. on USAirways, changing planes in Phoenix, on to OC. This is what my vacation routing looks like.
On may 27th I email my flight info to one of my travel friends, who calls me and says, "they don't let you off the ship until morning" ......Holy mother of God!

Expedia booked me on two different airlines because that was the most economic package. I called Expedia right away and explained that I had to change my fights going home because I didn't bother to ask when we could leave the ship misunderstood the disembarkment rules. Well, this was going to cost me $150 from the airlines, and an additional $30 from Expedia....OR..I could call the airlines and change it myself and save $30. US Airways changes it for the next morning at 7:30...because that's all they had. When they emailed me my updated itinerary this is what my route looked like.
Somehow, USAirways, or Expedia, messed with my flights on American Airlines..which were fine!! Guess what? After calling Expedia every day since, nothing has changed. No one can tell me why they were messing with the leg of my trip that was OK from the beginning.

Things could be worse....my friends are booked on Alaska Airlines, and they filed for bankruptcy.

Tomorrow, I will call again! Then get drunk go to a matinee.

FRIDAY MATINEE

Evening Update.....This movie was hilarious....much funnier than I expected, and not as corny. The story line was clever and interesting with a few twists. Lake Bell and Rob Corddry as the best friends were equally funny. So, yep, it was a thumbs up again.


I am packing my ham sandwich, on Jewish Rye, with
yellow mustard which is so unkosher-ish. That, a bottle of AquaFina, and a box of raisins nestled in my purse.....and I'm off to see:

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

Because really? Who couldn't use a little Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz on "Friday Lights"? And hey, do you remember my whole fiasco with the IRS? And remember how when it was all said and done, they owed me $12? Well the check came in the mail, and it included $1.41 interest for a whopping total of $13.41. That didn't even pay for my gas driving to Wacko Waco TX two days in a row. But I'm happy to have closure.

Now there is something else that really bothers me this Friday, and I want to share it with you and you and maybe other concerned readers too. It's been brought to my attention that not only are some of my special friends lurkers, they have actually formed an alliance that functions outside of their normal work environment. That's right, they hold meetings. The Lurkers Three don't hold these meetings in a conference room like normal people, and they don't take it down the block to Starbucks like your typical civil servant. They take it here.......

The funny thing is, they don't talk "blog"...they just smile at each other, it's a knowing smile. You guys are a hoot! And I love you, now get back to work.