HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME....almost

On March 16th, I put my very first blog entry on the Internet. Up until then, I was happy being a commenter on other blogs. A few people kept bugging me....saying things like, "hey get your own blog", and "quit hogging everyone's bandwidth with your silly off topic comments". So I eventually got the hint and jumped in.....

Remember when I looked like this?

Four of those blogs were my commenters that first day in the history of Grandma J. Heartshapedhedges, is my daughter and her blog sprung forth from her son's Caringbridge site (yeah leukemia survivor!). LMNOP, is another blogger crossover from Caringbridge, (whose daughter is also a leukemia survivor). Then The Cortney Chronicles is a follower of HSH and LMNOP, and My Training Adventures, a wonderful marathon fundraising woman who I met through her support of several Caringbridge sites.

So there you have it...my first four commenters. The amazing thing is, after reading that pitiful first post, all four still come back a year later. So thank you....to those first four, and the other two rest of you who check in on a regular basis to see if I'd been committed kicked the bucket, or to be more politically correct, dove into the deep end.

Over the last year, I have posted 380 entries, with 64,879 visitors. Ok, I know, there was that day back in July when I have over 15,000 hits! All because Michael K from dlisted put a link to my Shamwow testimonial on his site. Just because of that I'm now engaged to best buds with Nick, who lives somewhere in the Heart of Dixie in Charleston....with his new puppy. I've also become good friends with Hollywood, who really lives in Albuquerque. Ummm, where's that blog of yours Hollywood?

Now, here's the exciting part that includes all of you. Yes even you, and you too. Over the past year, I've reviewed several movies, given testimonials on a plethora of products. God, thank you for the word plethora, I love it more than you know.

I've keep you abreast of current events...like the Yearning For Zion dilemma here in Texas, and the tragic toilet malfunction on NASA's space station. I've talked about my grandchildren and JJ til I'm blue in the face....with much more to tell you! You know all about my Uncle Jack, and the escapades of my Mother, Rita. I've discussed personal stuff like my sex life colon, pinkie finger, and mustache.

Several times over this past year I have honored our Service Men and Women...specifically my son-in-law, 1SGT John, who is currently serving his third tour of duty in Iraq.

I took a road trip to visit Cortney and Briana here in Texas, and I met up with Jason, Pumpkin Delight, and Hula Hank in Los Angeles. I'm trekking to Virginia in July to partake in the Virginia Blogfest hosted by Big Hair Envy, and Chesapeake Bay Woman.

With all of this in mind, I want you to tell me which post you liked the best. I know, they all kind of blur together. But seriously, I have to know....so take a minute to jog your memory or look in the archives. I'll make it worth your while with a contest/drawing.


That's right, a $50 gift card from Bed Bath and Beyond. the winner will be picked by a random picker thing on March 16th....the anniversary of the day everyone's Grandma J's world changed....forever.

Today I Washed Windows

How is that for a title? So original, because that's exactly what I did today.

I have a total of four friggin windows and they are clean...inside and out.

Notice that my neighbor still has her incredibly ugly archway trellis thing, and nothing has grown on it in the thirteen months I've lived here. Of course I'm above pointing out my neighbors lack of taste and style...but you already knew that. I really wanted to share my new window cleaner with you....

This stuff. It is remarkable....no streaks at all, no redos! I'm guessing you are just as excited as I am..I can feel it! and notice how I shot that picture at an angle like PW does...yeah, works for her.

During my extensive shopping spree, I bought these flip flops....the only footwear that Grandma J would allow if making up all the rules in the universe was up to her. These are also the only Speedos you will ever see Grandma J wear! Except for a Speedo sports bra....and you just have to take my word on that one.
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On another subject......did anyone hear about this guy?

Man Jumps Off Taxiing Airliner


The unidentified man opened a door and slid down an inflatable emergency chute.

A 26-year-old passenger on board an American Airlines jet from Charlotte to Dallas opened a door and slid down an inflatable emergency chute Tuesday as the aircraft waited to taxi to its gate at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport.

Nick, You live in Charlotte, right? Was that you coming to see Nana J here in Texas? I miss you snookums.

The Stallion

Lately I've been putting off buying gas until I absolutely have to..because I'm so very green it gets cheaper every day..like yesterday.

I decided to actually fill ur up at these prices. And so, as I was pumping my gas, I saw this on the other side of the pumps.

What the heck was it? I just happened to have my camera in hand...and I started taking pictures. Until the owner walked out of the station's mini mart.

I told him I was intrigued by his vehicle...which is really a tricycle type. He told me I could take pictures, but would I mind taking one of him with his Stallion?
His name which he volunteered is Thomas T. and he couldn't say enough about his "ride". Thomas was very friendly, but not matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get him to take his shirt off...sorry CBW.



It gets 45 miles to the gallon, cruises at 120 mph, has ac and heat, and a great stereo with CD player.



Basically it's instruments, accessories and interior design are Ford made.


I want one! Even if I can't see over the steering wheel.

FROM WHALES TO MARSHMALLOWS......

...which isn't a reference to me and John, or Gavin, or any neanderthal man. Hi Nick.

Well, I trekked by pack mule into the cozy little town of Skagway this morning to post about yesterday. The thought of Chesapeake Bay Woman selling the family estate to pay my Internet cafe fees on ship just for a picture of an old man made me scared for her children feel compelled to comply with her wishes.



Tuesday was an early morning rise in Juneau, capitol of Alaska. We were up at six, and of course I headed outside to take a picture of early morning Juneau, then on to nice sit down breakfast at seven, then head on out for a day of whale watching, tour of the Mendenhall Glacier, a nature walk then a salmon bake.

While waiting for the dining room to open, I was pleasantly surprised to see Kristie, a fellow blogger. I'd started following her daughter’s leukemia journey in October 2005, right after my grandson was diagnosed. Thankfully, her daughter has been off treatment for almost three years…..yeah, Kendrie.


We went by bus to Auke Bay, where we boarded a tri-level catamaran. This is the sun coming up as we heading up the inland Saginaw Channel. The weather was in the high fifties which was warm for Alaska.

Of course John was thrilled to be up run

ning on his umpteenth Alaskan whale watching excursion.

The girls were ready too. One nice thing is the boat had a snack bar with free beverages and snacks like bagels, salmon and pastries.

The tour guide would announce the sighting of a bald eagle, or hump back whale and the whole pack of tourists would scramble to the side of the boat with cameras and binoculars.

I caught a few pictures of humpback whales.

Today there were three of them having a feeding frenzy, which shouldn't be confused with Grandma J.in the buffet line. They were blowing bubbles underwater, causing the schools of fish to scurry away from the light and up into the darkness, which was the open mouth of a whale. The whales would surface as they scooped them up. The tour guide said it’s not that common for whales to orchestrate a “bubble feed”, and it was a rare opportunity to see. BTW, Humpbacks eat about a ton of small fish a day.

We saw Killer whales which are smaller and are actually in the dolphin family. They travel in pods, and are hunt prey twice their size, such as humpback whales. We saw quite a few killer whales, but they surface and dive back so fast, that it’s hard to get a good picture. I was going to draw one in with a sharpie…


Next we headed to the Mendenhall Glacier. It’s a fantastic sight to see. There are waterfalls, ice masses, majestic mountains and bears…lots of bears. We weren’t allowed to bring food into the area because it attracts the wildlife.

We topped the day off with a salmon bake that included ribs, chicken, corn bread, wild rice, beans, salads and a marshmallow roast. We headed back to the ship in time for a nap before dinner. Tomorrow, Skagway. Life is good in Alaska

Thank you Postcard Cindy for the BB update. If anyone who watches BB and doesn't want to know what's going on, please be forewarned that this is the only way I can keep up. I don't have access to network TV. Sorry, Heartshapedhedges. Please don't put any ideas in Beauty's head. We aren't going to the American Girl Store this time around. We will have fun getting our pedi/mani and shopping. We also have a hotel sleepover and a Disney Birthday celebration with her BBF William. Carol Z, thanks, I can't believe I won the first week of the pool, and next time I invite you to come on a cruise....just know the boys will survive! I'm also hoping to connect with Pumpkin Delight sometime today.....You there Pumpkin?

THE ONLY 4 MEME

I was tagged by My Second Journal to do The Only 4 Meme. It's an easy one, and I love easy things....simple, uncomplicated...bring it on!

Four places I go to over and over
1. Walmart
2. Walgreen's (do you see a pattern here?)
3. JJ's house
4. The pool

Four people who e-mail me regularly
1. Walmart
2. The Biggest Loser Club (I don't belong, but obviously someone wants me to).
3. John McCain
3. Nick

Four places I would rather be right now
1. Catalina Island
2. Hawaii
3. Beaches of Orange County
4. The slopes of Colorado

Four TV shows/programs that I watch
1. Fox News
2. Big Brother 10 (and BBAD)
3. Survivor
4. The Dog Whisperer

Four things I have for breakfast
1. Coffee
2. English muffin (sourdough)
3. Coffee
4. Pizza

Four animals I like best
1. Dog
2. Dolphins
3. Monkeys
4. Dogs

Four beaches I've been to
1. Huntington Beach (my home town and every beach in Southern California)
2. Cocoa Beach, Florida
3. Hampton Beach, New Hampshire (summer vacations in N E)
4. Mazatlan & Cabo San Lucas MEX.

Tagging 4 people. I'm making this a serve-yourself-buffet to all that want to do it. But I would really like the following Bloggers to give it a whirl.

1. Kim at Heart Shaped Hedges, Because she's my daughter
2. Rebeckah at Life With Kaishon, because I would like you all to meet her
3. Chesapeake Bay Woman at Life in Mathews, because we need to keep her busy.
4. Cortney @ The Cortney Chronicles

Please let me know if you do this easy as pie The Only 4 Meme. Don't forget to visit My Second Journal for a good read, and one of my favorite blogs.

SHE TAGGED ME, I'VE BEEN MEME'D

Two days ago The Keeper Of All Things tagged me to do a meme of 7's. I was delayed a bit due to a serious medical condition that took me away overnight to sleep while Gary laughed at monitored me. Now, I'm ready! Follow me if you will, and please feel free to do your own 7's because I'm doing a virtual take it or leave it tag.

7 Things I plan to do before I die

1. Finally take my Alaskan Cruise
2. Travel to Ireland, my grandmother's homeland with my distant cousins from NY
3. Travel to the Holy Land, walk the original Stations of the Cross that Jesus walked
4. Write a book.
5. Watch my grandchildren grow up
6. Don't let any of my kids push me around forget who's the parent.
7. Be at peace when the end comes.

7 Things I can do.

1. Hmmm, this can be on so many levels. OK, I used to hang glide, I still kayak
2. For eight years I mentored ESL children in the third world country of Santa Ana CA schools.
3. I used to be able to twirl a mean baton, but not while hula hooping.
4. I used to surf, with a long board, because 45 years ago there wasn't much else to do in my So CA beach town.
5. I can stay up as late as I darn please because I don't plan anything before noon, unless it's a flight somewhere.
6. I can stay up for days on end if I'm winning at black jack in Vegas...without getting hungry!
7. I can snore louder than most people. Verified by my friend Gary.

7 Things I say most often

1. I love you
2. Your kidding
3. Call me back. this is usually ignored
4. I can't believe a pint of ice cream is four servings
5. My prayers.
6. What do you want.
7. Holy mother of all things sacred

7 Celebrity crushes

1. Mel Gibson
2. Kelsy Grammer
3. Drew Carey
4. Robert Downey Jr.
5. Garth Brookes
6. Kevin Costner
7. Nick

There you have it! I'm not tagging anyone in particular because Keeper passed it on to people I know who in turn passed it on to 49 other people I know....and I don't even know 49 people. Unless Hollywood starts her blog...then she has to do it. Hollywood? If you do the 7's, let me know, I want to read them!!

Top Ten Reasons Why Grandma J Isn’t Currently Dating Kelsey Grammer


1. Kelsey is busy on the talk show circuit.

2. Kelsey is in the hospital with heart palpitations

3. Kelsey isn't in Grandma J's cell phone "circle".

4. Aqua Aerobics isn’t Kelsey’s idea of “dating”

5. Grandma J’s emails are being hijacked by Kelsey’s jealous wife

6. Kelsey Grammer is too old for Grandma J.

7. Kelsey Grammer is too young for Grandma J

8. JJ scares the ”bee jeeses” out of Kelsey’s dog

9. Grandma J doesn’t want to cheat on Mel

And the number ten reason Grandma J isn't currently dating Kelsey grammer?........to be answered by Grandma J's friends

IF TODAY IS TUESDAY....
then it must be Friday Matinee on Monday...a day late.

I am coming off a mini hiatus of four days. As usual, I was hanging with my favorite guy, Nick JJ. We cruised the hood in our hot wheels...after JJ ate all Grandma J's Jack-in-The-Box crumbs off the floor.

We watched TV on a variety of large flat screen TVs, ate all the ice cream in the house, and of course chewed on each others tails on our toys.

I didn't forget my obligation to my blogging friends, especially my new reader, Hollywood. Everyone, say hi to Hollywood! That's why I'm making a special effort to go see my boyfriend Kevin in Swing Vote!

Ok, I'm going out on a limb here, but I have to confess...I am one of two women in the world who thinks Kelsey Grammer is HOT. There, I said it.

And I hope Kevin votes for Kelsey and not Dennis Hopper, who is also HOT...but not as!

I'll be back!

PINCH ME HARD...

not that hard

Yesterday I was overwhelmed by the number of visitors I had to my little blog. At first I thought Site Meter had gone whacko, then I assumed that Google short circuited my post about Vince the pitchman at Scam the Sham Wow. I called my people her and giggled my foolish head off.

People started leaving comments explaining what was really happening. Michael K. at dlisted.com linked my post on Sham Wow, asking his readers to come take a peek. Can you imagine anyone being that friggin powerful? I mean holy mother of all things sacred, even though she has zillions of readers, hardly any of them come here when she tells them to. She does tell them to come here, right?

I checked out dlisted.com, and wondered what rock I had been living under. It's H.O.T. check it out. After browsing around, I emailed Michael K. and thanked him for the link, and he emailed me back. Pinch me Baby Jesus! He said nice things about me and I have a feeling there was some magic between us.
What do you think? yeah, dear Santa, I need photoshop bad!

I also want to share just a few of the comments Michael K's. readers left me re: sham wow. I got a kick out of them:

Charlene says: “Who the hell spends twenty dollars a YEAR on paper towels, let alone a month?”

Amber says: “It's like I've been told there is no Santa Claus...lol!”

Anonymous 1 says: “The product is good but be cautious. I received 2 mops I did not order. and what I thought would be $19.95 plus S/H. Was billed $101.75 on my VISA. for 8 cloths. To return for credit you could loose more.”

Mary says: "I also use them on my cats when i give them baths and it works better then a towel. Ehh just my 2 cents. Oh and they do have to be wet to work."

Anonymous 2 says: "I'm impressed that the previous poster Mary gives her cats a bath."

Anonymous 3 says: "That’s kind of messed up that you write this terrible review about a product, clearly influencing people to NOT buy it and you didn't even follow the directions (GET IT WET FIRST!!!). I think you owe the Shamwow guy an apology."

And really? Anonymous 3 is the only nasty person who came over to chew me out.

I was surprised that so many people took the time to read other posts besides the one linked to dlisted. Like Nick....

"GrandmaJ,
I found your site through d-listed this morning and am TOTALLY bored at work. I have to say I just finished reading your WHOLE entire blog! I think you are very clever. I'm 26 BTW and have some of the same thoughts! Keep it up and I'll be checking back regularly-Nick"

I really heart Nick! Bored at work? I would guess he's a Civil Servant like mwa, but working Saturday would narrow that down to prison work or toll booth operator. Any which way, I'm glad Nick and I click is coming back. I mean I don't get many men reading my blog...Jason does, but he is spoken for, and so popular that he's turned down my offer to go on a cruise...and he turned down a cruise offer from her's too.