NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS 2009



I'm in the process of compiling a list of things I resolve to do....or not. I thought I would share with you what I've tentatively come up with so far:


Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump...how can we forget when Rita forgot to replace the nozzle!


Always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.

If I'm having a bad day, don't take it out on others.


Make every effort to drive closer to the speed limit


Never ever park your BMW next to a fire hydrant.


Always make sure your foot is on the brake, and not the accelerator when you are behind a transit bus. Otherwise, just tell the cops you are Shirl the girl.....Rita's sister.

Try and schedule at least one field trip for your pooch.

And last but not least......

Your mother wasn't kidding when she reminded you to always wear clean underwear, "just in case" you play twister.

Do you have any resolutions you want to share?

The Stallion

Lately I've been putting off buying gas until I absolutely have to..because I'm so very green it gets cheaper every day..like yesterday.

I decided to actually fill ur up at these prices. And so, as I was pumping my gas, I saw this on the other side of the pumps.

What the heck was it? I just happened to have my camera in hand...and I started taking pictures. Until the owner walked out of the station's mini mart.

I told him I was intrigued by his vehicle...which is really a tricycle type. He told me I could take pictures, but would I mind taking one of him with his Stallion?
His name which he volunteered is Thomas T. and he couldn't say enough about his "ride". Thomas was very friendly, but not matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get him to take his shirt off...sorry CBW.



It gets 45 miles to the gallon, cruises at 120 mph, has ac and heat, and a great stereo with CD player.



Basically it's instruments, accessories and interior design are Ford made.


I want one! Even if I can't see over the steering wheel.

I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE.....
....Here being my eyeballs, and beyond

My first Saturday back in Texas, my laundry is done, I haven't vacuumed yet, but I have the wrong size bags, and I haven't won a new Oreck XL or Dyson Animal from The Pioneer Woman....so, my day was pretty much free.

Free enough to spend some time with my granddaughter, coloring her hair. Nothing drastic, just a tad shade darker for vibrancy. Yeah, that's what I'm calling it.

We took JJ with us in the car to buy the products, and of course being the worlds best grandma, I let my granddaughter drive. She's only 14, but I told her not to tell me.

My Saturday sounds pretty laid back and fun, right? You know better...I can't fool my readers...this can only get better or worse.

I was out of coffee, so I wanted to stop at Starbucks. There were three cars lined up to turn right into the driveway ahead of me. The driveway that leads to Taco Bueno and Starbucks...one way in, same way out. It's a wide driveway, so cars can pass each other in opposite directions. Follow me? Good.

Whoa! This lady cop decided to block the whole friggin driveway, parking diagonal. Now, for all we knew, she had stopped a hardened criminal, but she could have pulled up directly behind him to prevent him from exiting....but no.

After about ten minutes it was apparent that this person wasn't a dangerous criminal, or the officer would have called for back-up. The man in the first car in line, got out and asked the officer if she could pull forward so we could access the two restaurants. She told him, no, we would have to wait.....wait we did. And I took pictures, and really wanted to take one or two of the Taco Bueno and Starbucks employees who were standing outside watching....because they didn't have any customers, but my memory card was full.

The criminal was given a ticket, and the officer left. Are you wondering why I'm telling you all this? Because I emailed the pictures to the local paper, Police Department, Starbucks and Taco Bueno. Guess where you can find me come Monday?

Here's a tiny bit of good news.....

The Rita Chronicles: Part II

Towards the end of the 70’s real estate was booming in Southern California and Rita's career was becoming pretty lucrative. She liked treated herself to the luxuries she could never have as a stay at home wife and mother.

Rita found a really good deal on a classic 60’s something Lincoln Continental. When I say “classic”, I mean a real classic in mint condition and loaded with all the extras. It was a hard-top convertible, and the hard-top retracted into the trunk area like this.

See what I mean? I couldn’t even find a picture of the hard-top version. At least I don't think this is a hard top in the picture.

Rita had a newer car, but she loved tootling around town in her gas guzzling Lincoln. Frequently putting the top down, then back up...they back down. It wasn’t unusual for Reet to do this as she sat in traffic. How else would people be able to turn green with envy watching her hard-top recess into her trunk at the push of a button.

Back then, most service stations where just that, service stations with full service. The attendant pumped your gas, washed your windshield, checked your oil and water levels, and at one particular Phillips 66 station, the attendant opened your front door, asked for your ashtray to empty, and vacuumed the floor under your feet. NO KIDDING!



On this particular day, Rita pulled into a local gas station with her Lincoln. Now, I don’t know what was going through her mind, maybe the fact that the attendant probably didn’t know what a gem he was servicing....the car, not Rita. But while the ethyl gasoline was flowing into the gas tank, and the attendant was washing the windshield, Reet decided to show off and lower the top on her classic Lincoln Continental...

What happened wasn’t pretty. It was unbelievable. As the trunk started to tilt up, and the back end lowering towards the bumper, it broke the nozzle off into the Lincoln’s gas tank, which is centered on the back of the car, right under the trunk. The hose! Picture a garden hose on full blast flying through the air like a boa constrictor on steroids. The hose was flipping back and forth, spewing gas all over the place.

Rita thought this whole episode was the station’s fault, they said it was Rita’s fault. They were right. In the end, I don’t know how it was resolved, but it was, and Reet still frequented that service station.

*Disclosure: Once again, no animals, grandmothers or gas station attendance were permanently hurt or injured in anyway. Just slightly embarrassed, but more than willing to tell everyone they knew, including the folks at the local car wash what happened.