Yet Another Grandma J Tutorial

While most of the free world spends their Saturday afternoons playing golf, lollygagging in the malls, or downing a few brewski's while watching March Madness in May, Grandma J is busy saving every nickel and dime she can.

Here's how Grandma J wastes spends her Saturday afternoons. She wanders around in cyberspace looking for freebies. By wanders she means she checks out the freebie page on the Walmart website freebie page.

These are the free items she ordered this week. Just be forewarned that none of the "click here" notations will bring you to a website....it's just a visual to show you that there is a "Get Free Sample Link"



Here's some free NicoDerm gum to help the addicted smoker sitting next to you at bingo friend or relative in your life.

If you need these, you already know it! And no...I didn't watch the video.

One sure fire way to know you are on the road to baldness, is to try every free sample you can get your hands on for your hair.

Yeah, I bet no one's surprised that Grandma J chose "Sample Both".

Only a Zyrtec user knows how expensive this stuff is.....I hope they send me two sample packs.....AHHHHH CHHOOOOO!

Shudddup.....a free sample is a free sample. Besides, if these are really as absorbent as they claim to be, I can use them to dry my car. You know, like a ShamWow substitute.

* Now, I think I've made a pretty good dent in my Christmas shopping,with free shipping....how about you?

I'm Not Going There!
.....no, I'm not.....ever

This may be of interest to my Green friends, but you can't make me go there ever. This is what I'm talking about. Sure, they're cute but reusable? NOT!

“Natural living” advocates unveil their latest planet-saving invention - the reusable toilet wipe. This is what they say:

"American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'
Extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply toilet roll made from virgin forest."

'nuff said.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS 2009



I'm in the process of compiling a list of things I resolve to do....or not. I thought I would share with you what I've tentatively come up with so far:


Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump...how can we forget when Rita forgot to replace the nozzle!


Always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.

If I'm having a bad day, don't take it out on others.


Make every effort to drive closer to the speed limit


Never ever park your BMW next to a fire hydrant.


Always make sure your foot is on the brake, and not the accelerator when you are behind a transit bus. Otherwise, just tell the cops you are Shirl the girl.....Rita's sister.

Try and schedule at least one field trip for your pooch.

And last but not least......

Your mother wasn't kidding when she reminded you to always wear clean underwear, "just in case" you play twister.

Do you have any resolutions you want to share?

I AM WOMAN HEAR ME SNORE...

My sleep study “sleepover” was something I asked for. Because when you retire and move to Texas you do things like that for excitement.

I wake myself up at night for no apparent reason, except to wake myself up. Once in a while I take advantage of the opportunity to go skinny dipping pee, or grab a snack.

Another reason is people say I snore. I have no documentation, and I wasn't sure I wanted to believe I could do such a thing, and if I did, who cares? But when my oldest granddaughter told me I scare the heck out of her at night, I thought maybe I did snore ….a bit.

So between waking up at night, and scaring the beegeezus out of little kids, I decided to submit myself to the humiliation of having my head all wired up, and a bunch of sadistic medical professional stare at me , watching my every move on a monitor all night.

What’s funny is some people are embarrassed by the whole snoring issue. I’m not one of them. I knew someone who refused to fall asleep on a transcontinental flight that was twelve hours long because she was embarrassed about snoring. Her husband would have to go to another room to get a good night’s sleep more often than naught. It was on the news one day that someone filed a complaint against a neighbor for snoring too loud……loud enough to be a nuisance. This made my unnamed subject paranoid, and we would tease her about her neighbors suing her.…yeah, we were bad.

On one overseas business trip for her husband, she did everything she could to stayed awake on the flight. She feared snoring and waking her fellow travelers on the flight. Once they got to the hotel, she fell asleep, but started snoring. Her husband had an early morning meeting with his superiors, and between jet lag and his wife’s snoring, he was getting ticked. Feeling bad, she wrapped herself in the bedspread, grabbed a pillow and went into the bathroom so her husband could get a few hours of sleep.

The bathroom acoustics were the worst case scenario. The tiled walls just amplified her snoring, making it even louder. Desperate to stop snoring, she decided to stuff toilet paper in her nose….I don’t know where this idea came from, but I’m sure she read somewhere that closing off her nose would stop the snoring. Well she kept packing it in, more tissue, then some more. It was so packed, that when she looked in the mirror, her nostrils where spread out, giving her a look similar to Miss Piggy.

For whatever reason, maybe moisture, or the tissue tearing…..she couldn't get the tissue out. Without all the embarrassing details the bottom line was she had to wake up her husband. She had to wake him up to help her unclog her nose. He wasn't much help…..she had to go to the ER to get the toilet paper out of her nose.

OK Big Brothers fans! Here is a picture of Renny when she was younger. I was holding off showing it to you until they showed her Head of Household pictures. This one wasn't among them.

Are you losing a bit of respect for Renny? Is she purposely playing mind games with her alliance? I'm at a loss trying to figure out what she's thinking. What is your take on her strategy?