I INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

THE HONEYMOON'S OVER

Do you remember all the scuttle-butt going on two weeks ago? When my Site Meter went bananas? Now, I'm not talking about the glitch last weekend, when Site Meter messed with everyone's blog. I mean remember the one that drove my hits up from around 200 a day to over 15K in one day? I was looking at my "30 day" graft and this is what it looked like.
I couldn't figure out what to make of it. Without sounding vulgar, at first glance it looked like Site Meter was flipping me off. Giving me the finger. I mean, all those people coming over to visit just because someone asked them to. Not just anyone.....Michael K. at dlisted. Can you imagine how popular and powerful he must be? It's like when Moses spread his arms and the seas parted! Michael K. puts a tiny word on his popular, funny site and the whole world clicked on it......JUST ONCE!

I was grateful, actually, I was more than grateful. I was extremely thankful and I emailed Michael K. at dlisted to let him know. He friggin emailed me back! N.O. K.I.D.D.I.N.G.


Do you think he answers every email he gets from fickle crazed women? I think not. And the hugs and kisses? They are real.

So there you have it. My fifteen minutes of fame. Actually, it was 15 thousand hits...then I bought this shirt.

Now go visit Michael K. at dlisted. Tell him I sent you :)

Santa, really, it's getting ridiculous, where's my Christmas in July camera...it's August already!

**Sitemeter Kills Thousands Of Sites For IE Users **
I suspect it's save to go back in the water....at least we know who the culprit was. Now if Hollywood comes back I can guestimate where they hail from. :))

LIFE SAVINGS IN A NUTSHELL

This weekend started out crazy and hasn't stopped. I've been preoccupied with my new laptop. I did tell you about my new laptop didn't I? Well I used a jump drive to transfer my stuff from my desk top, then deleted everything from it before I took it to the dumpster. No one wanted it! A totally functioning Sony Vaio. Not the church, not the school district...and no I didn't ask my neighbors. Honestly that would be opening another can of worms. Besides, someone will take it...keyboard, flat panel monitor, speakers the whole kit and caboodle.

So, here's what I did, I moved all 3K plus photos into the new fancy shmancy photo file on the laptop. Then I made sure I had the latest v. media player on the laptop before I dropped all my albums in it. I watched as they all opened with pictures of the artist and album covers. Then I tested it. fine.

Today I was getting ready to listen to some music while blogging and while everything looks good...titles, play time blah, blah, blah, I get an error..something about not recognizing something or other. So I went and got all my CDs out of my car, that's sitting in 104 degree heat, so I can reload them from scratch. Don't I have this stuff on my MP3 player you ask? Why yes I do! I'm not taking a chance...if it didn't work from the jump drive, then I'm doing the next best thing to having the artists live in my apartment...downloading from the CDs.

All this blabbering brings me to this little gem I've been toting around for decades....my bank passbook. Yeah, I think that's the old fashion word for debit card. I remember showing it to my oldest granddaughter last year thinking she's say "ooooh..aaahhhhhh! Wow, can I have that when you're dead?" No, I got the usual look of "you are definitely a couple of bubbles off center."


Now granted, it comes with a lot of history..as in coffee stains courtesy of Rita. I mean come on! If it wasn't Rita it would have to be Sister Annunciata Marie from St. Anne's School. No kidding, that's her real name. She made us say it in it's entirety every time we addressed her...or as she sailed into the classroom with her habit flowing behind her. I can still hear the class in unison.....

"GOOD MOORRRNING 'STER ANNUNCIATA MARIEEEEE".

My friend Leslie Hamilton and I secretly knew the good sister was practicing her angel moves. Oh and Leslie?...she was adopted by this rich doctor and his wife. They weren't Catholic so Leslie didn't have to go to confession every Saturday...I envied her in oh so many ways.

Excuse the quality of these photos, but as you all know, I'm patiently waiting to make the cut on Santa's camera list.

This is the balance as of around November 1954. The last three deposits aren't dated. You see, if you want your deposits dated, you have to write it in yourself. All deposits are in pencil...according to instructions. Don't you think that's crazy?

If any of you happen to be strolling down Empire Street, or South Main Street in Providence RI, stop in at Providence Institution for Savings "The Old Stone Bank" and mention my name. I'm like the oldest depositor they have...just maybe. And I think this is the extent of my wealth, all locked up in the third grade savings account.

Hang it there because I'm working on a post about my grandfather's desertion from the Army right in the middle of the War Between the States out west with Pancho Villa. No kidding. I will treat you to his Wanted Poster. Oh boy, I can see you, Carol Z getting all antsy. You've asked for this ever since you saw his wanted poster hanging in my cubicle eons ago.

PINCH ME HARD...

not that hard

Yesterday I was overwhelmed by the number of visitors I had to my little blog. At first I thought Site Meter had gone whacko, then I assumed that Google short circuited my post about Vince the pitchman at Scam the Sham Wow. I called my people her and giggled my foolish head off.

People started leaving comments explaining what was really happening. Michael K. at dlisted.com linked my post on Sham Wow, asking his readers to come take a peek. Can you imagine anyone being that friggin powerful? I mean holy mother of all things sacred, even though she has zillions of readers, hardly any of them come here when she tells them to. She does tell them to come here, right?

I checked out dlisted.com, and wondered what rock I had been living under. It's H.O.T. check it out. After browsing around, I emailed Michael K. and thanked him for the link, and he emailed me back. Pinch me Baby Jesus! He said nice things about me and I have a feeling there was some magic between us.
What do you think? yeah, dear Santa, I need photoshop bad!

I also want to share just a few of the comments Michael K's. readers left me re: sham wow. I got a kick out of them:

Charlene says: “Who the hell spends twenty dollars a YEAR on paper towels, let alone a month?”

Amber says: “It's like I've been told there is no Santa Claus...lol!”

Anonymous 1 says: “The product is good but be cautious. I received 2 mops I did not order. and what I thought would be $19.95 plus S/H. Was billed $101.75 on my VISA. for 8 cloths. To return for credit you could loose more.”

Mary says: "I also use them on my cats when i give them baths and it works better then a towel. Ehh just my 2 cents. Oh and they do have to be wet to work."

Anonymous 2 says: "I'm impressed that the previous poster Mary gives her cats a bath."

Anonymous 3 says: "That’s kind of messed up that you write this terrible review about a product, clearly influencing people to NOT buy it and you didn't even follow the directions (GET IT WET FIRST!!!). I think you owe the Shamwow guy an apology."

And really? Anonymous 3 is the only nasty person who came over to chew me out.

I was surprised that so many people took the time to read other posts besides the one linked to dlisted. Like Nick....

"GrandmaJ,
I found your site through d-listed this morning and am TOTALLY bored at work. I have to say I just finished reading your WHOLE entire blog! I think you are very clever. I'm 26 BTW and have some of the same thoughts! Keep it up and I'll be checking back regularly-Nick"

I really heart Nick! Bored at work? I would guess he's a Civil Servant like mwa, but working Saturday would narrow that down to prison work or toll booth operator. Any which way, I'm glad Nick and I click is coming back. I mean I don't get many men reading my blog...Jason does, but he is spoken for, and so popular that he's turned down my offer to go on a cruise...and he turned down a cruise offer from her's too.

*EMERGENCY ALERT*

This may not apply to you.....
please don't send me any more testimonials on the YOU.KNOW.WHAT super absorbent pieces of crap that Vince sells.

My site meter is off the charts. I guess what I really mean is Thank you dlisted.com, because as of 11:30 this morning ....well, I can only check the last hundred hits but quite a few, if not most are for YOU.KNOW WHAT...linked from dlisted.com.

I will say I'm pleased that some people are actually reading more that my humble testimonial, and reading other posts. I must also say that there are some bloggers out there that are a little green around the gills. Hey, I'm trying to be a good consumer by giving testimonials on products that I like and dislike.

So just be forewarned that if you do a testimonial on anything Vince pitches, or Debbie Meyer, or God forbid Billy Mays....watch out. I'm talking to you Green Bag advocate!

*If you came here via dlisted pull up a chair and stay a while. You can join my aqua aerobics here at the compound, meet JJ the wonder dog, or the Women Yearning For Zion. A real bonus is the hilarious Grandma Joy on YouTube.

THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY
...please come again when you can stay longer and leave a comment. I may even feed you...if you want.

Today my sitemeter told me that over 15,000 people have visited Grandma J’s site. I can’t even imagine, because no one read me the riot act or left a mess behind. I only had to delete three comments, and two of the three were spam.

Now, I hate to admit this to you, but honestly? A good amount of those “visitors” weren’t coming to see me. No, in fact even when they got here, they didn’t even take the time to look around or say Hi, or Bye. They came here via Google. I took quite a bit of time today to see exactly what they were Googling.

Here are my most frequent visitors in order of frequency, but not necessarily in order of importance as you will see.

1. ShamWow....in many different forms, just Sham, or Vince of ShamWow, or Sham Rags, Sham Cloths, and this is what they got. With pictures and unlike Vince, I gave my unbiased review.

2. Unibrow....or Unibrow Lady. I kid you not! And this is what they got.

3. Love Your Colon....(in various forms). And this is what they got.

4. Now, this was actually the number two all time visitor Google search. I lied to you. But I saved it for last because it is such a hoot, that you may leave me for “her” and never come back. And that, dear readers would break Grandma J’s heart…for real. But I have faith in all of you, and I want to share this site with you. I was curious because my sitemeter has all the searches for this site coming from Poland, but it’s in English with no accent, and sure does seem American to me.

It's a search for Grandma Joy.