Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Busy Mornings of Yesterday

Every once in a while someone asks me what I do all day. Yeah, like what.....I have to be doing something every minute? Of course, in my book on living, if you're still sucking in air, technically, you ARE doing something.

Sure, now that I'm retired I have the luxury of sleeping past five in the morning.....finally! Of course ever since we set our clocks ahead last Sunday, it stays dark here in Texas until 8:30 in the morning.

My mornings are almost the same as when I used to work. The only difference is that I basically stay home and do the same exact things I used to do at work. Here's what a typical morning was like:

7:00 Arrive at work, take my smokes out of my purse, placing them next to my computer for easy access. Put purse away in locked drawer.

7:05 Mosey over to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee, because the men are lurking in the wings, waiting for one of the women to make the coffee.

7:10 Go back to my cubicle, get my cigarettes, take the elevator to the fifth floor balcony and have a smoke while the coffee brews. Chat with all the other smokers and when someone starts to tell an interesting tidbit of gossip, sit down and light a second cigarette.

7:30 Head on back to my cubicle, put my cigarettes back by my PC, walk over to the kitchen only to find an empty coffee pot. Make a second pot...this time I stay in the kitchen until it's ready.

7:40 Sit down at my desk, with my first cup of coffee. Check my emails. Delete the ones from my boss, and forward the jokes to my friends.

7:50 Check my phone messages, taking notes on calls with urgent agency issues upcoming social events.

8:00 Take down "out of office" sign from outside cubicle, as I leave to go check my mail slot. Wave "hello" to boss as I pass by.

8:10 Return to cubicle to find three staff members wanting stuff....just random stuff or questions. This can be extremely annoying.

8:20 The Fed Ex guy shows up, and I sign for the delivery, breaking a nail in the process.

8:25 Go to bosses office to see if I can borrow a nail file. Sit in bosses office and chew the fat go over the day's agenda while filing all my nails so they match the broken one.

9:00 Break time! Change my shoes, then call a few friends around the building to meet me in the lobby to walk to Starbucks.

9:15 Arrive at Starbucks, order coffee, then sit outside on the patio.

9:20 Break Officially Starts! Chit chat with friends and catch up on office gossip.

9:35 Fifteen minute break, mandated by law, is officially over.

9:45 Walk back to office, return to desk only to find my inbox full to the gills. The work never ends! Sort through paperwork, glancing over the ones marked URGENT.

10:00 Check phone message again, then my emails. Life never slows down, giving new meaning to the phrase: The faster I go the behinder I get.

10:15 Grab some work and walk it over to a co-worker's cubicle, who is filling out an Avon order. Ask her if she would mind taking some of the burden off my plate...teamwork is my middle name!

10:30 Sort through some invoices, and decide to hand carry them up to the Accounting Office....saving time on waiting for the mail room to pick then up and deliver them. Remember...."time is taxpayers' money".

10:35 I grab my smokes on the way out the door because I pass the fifth floor balcony on the way to the Accounting Office. Nothing like killing two birds with one stone.

10:50 Return to my desk, straighten up my morning work, organizing my notes in preparation for an afternoon meeting.

11:00 The lunch truck pulls up to the curb and blows it's horn, so I grab my purse out of the locked drawer, and go down to the lunch truck. I place my order, then walk a safe distance away to have a smoke with some of my friends from the building next door while I wait for my food.

11:15 I return to my cubicle, and eat at my desk while I work. Not even hunger can keep my from my responsibilities.

11:50 I call a friend to see if she wants to go to the mall at lunch time.


12:00 - 1:00 SHOPPING IN THE MALL.

So there you have a typical morning at work. As a retiree, my day is similar except I don't smoke anymore....I will be smoke free three years next month! Just don't ask me how much weight I've gained.

How was your work day?


Living on the Spit said...

LMAO...have you been spying on me at work?

This is such a great post and I know a lot of people who can concur!

Thanks for this.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Always the funny girl! 3 years?? I am so proud of you! On the 15th it'll be 2 years for me! Just call me hog jowls! It's OK though! We DID it babe!!!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

sorry for the double post~again~I get excited!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Great post Grandma J...I can see why you were in a hurry to retire!!! :)
I am so happy to hear you quit added years to you life...or as I would put added hundreds of blog posts for us to enjoy!!!
take care,

My Metabolic Rate is Stuck said...

I was down to 3-4 cigarettes a day!
Now it's back up to almost a pack a day! DARN!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

HOLY PUBLIC SERVANT THAT IS FUNNY,not just the fact that I can relate to much of it (except the smoking) but THE PICTURES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. THE PICTURES!! You're a genius.

EVen down to the GJ on the coffee mug.

Without talking about my place of employment, but talking about some hypothetical place that really ought not exist, I will say that the hours between 7:30 in the morning (I have to drive an hour to get there by then) and 11, which is when I usually take a walk and then go to lunch, is spent stretching the most miniscule task out as loooooooong as I can because I don't want to be bored all day long. It is really a science, isn't it?

Have mercy this is some funny stuff. I'm still laughing.

heartshapedhedges said...

and THAT, is why the State of CA is in a financial mess (well, and the fact that we are a buffett of free services for those here illegally.)...AND, let's not forget the hefty pension that allows people to retire at, uh, however old YOU are, Grandma J.

Glad you quit me, no amount of extra weight smells as bad as cigarette clothes/breath.

M said...

Yay to 3 years!!

Now my work is nothing like that....I don't drink coffee or job would be great if it weren't for the kids- Ha! erhaps I will do a "what my day is like"...I'll save it for a slow day :)

jojo said...

yay on the smoke-free thing. I'm pooped now after your busy, busy mornings...nap time..j)

Pistolmom said...

Very funny!!!

Caution Flag said...

That sounds like a good day! Here's mine:
5:00 pretend to be awake as husband gets up and leaves for work
5:01 sleep deeply
6:30 realize the teenager will be late for school again because her mother is sleeping
7:30 1st school run
8:00 2nd school run
8:30-2:20 eat a couple of meals, grade a few papers, review lecture, blog, blog, blog, eat, feel guilty about most things, eat
2:30-3:30 school runs
4:00-8:00 teach, entertain students, act mean, do a little grammar

8:30 eat, eat, eat (and if no one is looking: blog :)

CGS said...

School starts at 8:40, I teach until 10:50 when the kids (and I) have lunch. Resume at 11:30 to read novels in READ block, teach 2nd block at 12 - 1:50. So not too bad. The worst part of my morning is trying to get Coop ready when my husband leaves for work before us.

Frasypoo said...

That was a hectic work day !Bet you were glad to see retirement!!
Being a housewife I can agree with you about how the day gets away from you!!!

Big Hair Envy said...

Congrats on the three years!!

Sounds like those surveyors were slave-drivers!!! Bwahahaha!

Treasia said...

Great post today. I needed a full blown laugh to complete the rest of my day. proud of you for the stop smoking. now what do you do with all that extra time?

Jen said...

HA! Can't wait to read how much you accomplish in the afternoon.

loxandlo said...

I know this was after you left Geo, right? Please, lie to me!! 3 for you and 8 for me. Still haven't gotten rid of my extra lbs.

jlo said...

Way to work the system! :)

Life with Kaishon said...

I loved this. Like everything you write it was witty and funny : ). You are a gem! Do you want to know what a normal day is like or my day today? How about this... There are 8 of us in our department. 4 of us have supervision on Wednesday and 4 of us have it on Thursday. Everyone's took 30-45 minutes. Everyone except me. I got to be with the ever so delightful boss o rama for 2 hours and 50 minutes today. Oh yes. You read that right. 2 hours and 50 minutes. Now you might think, Wow, you must have a LOT of problems with your work...that would be incorrect thinking. Of the 8 total workers I would have to say, as un humble as this may sound, I am one of the best 2. But anyway, today might not be a good day to ask me what my day is like : ). Hopefully tomorrow will be GrEaT! : ). Thank you for being my counselor. Send me a bill ASAP!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

LOL..sounds like my kind of job.
I used to work in an office and you had to have something ready to pull up on the computer so not to get caught playing games and surfing.