Monday, January 4, 2010

Physical Therapy

A day in paradise? You be the judge.
Ya’ll know Grandma J has been nursing a bad knee for months now.  Dr. Bob the oldest Ortho, opposed to Dr. Bob the young stud Primary Care Dr, recommended some physical therapy to relieve the discomfort Grandma J was feeling.

Let me share with you her introduction to the profession of Physical Therapy from a client’s patient’s point of view.

After the referral was made, it took about six weeks for insurance approval and scheduling. You know, there was Thanksgiving, then Hanukkah, Christmas, The Rose Parade.....

Grandma J was anxious to start. She envisioned a lot of massaging and muscle toning. She remembers going with friends to a spa once and having a treatment and it was actually heavenly.

Something like this! Yessiree, a full body massage with emphasis on the bad knee of course. Grandma J remembered the soft soothing music of ocean sounds with little birds chirping in the distance. There was the aroma of the sweet flowers sprinkled about permeating through the air. Boy, did the memories come rushing back!

The big day arrives. It’s recommended that Grandma J wear loose fitting clothes. That made perfect sense because it’s easier to get undressed and dressed. To make it easier she forgoes the bra. Yes.She.Does.

Grandma J meets Isabel, her own personal therapist, the excitement builds. Here’s how the conversation went:

Isabel: We are going to start with me asking you some questions, Ok?

Grandma J:  Ok

Isabel: On a level of one to ten how bad is the pain in your knee when resting?

Grandma J: About a two

Isabel: Good! Now, what level would you say the pain is when your exercising?

Grandma J: Pauses.....what do you mean, exactly?

Isabel: Well, for instance do you run or go for long walks?

Grandma J:  Not very often.

Isabel: How about sports? Do you play tennis or golf? 

Grandma J: No…..but I go to my grandson’s baseball games.

Isabel: OK…..tell me, do you have any hobbies?

Grandma J: (thinking oh good! Something I can actually give an honest answer to) Why yes I do!

Isabel: Great! What do you do?

Grandma J: I blog.

Isabel:  said with a blank stare....Blog? And, how many hours a week would you say you blog?

Grandma J: (reaches for her new iphone to access the calculator)

Isabel: You don’t have to give me an exact number of hours. How about telling me what else you do?

Grandma J: looks around the room trying to grasp at something interesting to say. 

Oh, I go to the movies once a week!

Isabel: Umm, I think we can get started with your therapy.

This isn’t what Grandma J had in mind! And for the record, Isabel is a regular drill sergeant.

Grandma J has to go back tomorrow. That’s if she can get out of bed.


Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Well then I guess we can all be expecting to see you sporting a swimsuit at blogfest '10! yeeehaaa!

Minerva said...

Can physical therapy be considered exercise?...
I'm about as active as you. I feel your pain. Ok, maybe not your real pain.

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Enjoyed reading your funny post. I am like you I would of had the other in mind instead of this. lol
Hope you can move tomorrow!

Mental P Mama said...

This Isabel is annoying. But I bet she will have you up and running, yes, running, in no time!

Lisa said...

Too funny! You and I must be on the same exercise program: a little blogging, followed by a movie, wrapping it up with a tad more blogging!

Good luck with Isabel ... and with the knee!

Pasadena Closet Conservative said...

That made me laugh! I think we have the same physical therapist.

Happy New Year, and God bless your grandson who survived leukemia. May he continue to thrive in 2010.

Connie said...

HA! I think I would have liked the massage and flower petals idea better too. My son had a sports injury that he had to go to physical therapy for. They worked him pretty hard with the exercises, but it really worked. His shoulder healed up and he is fine now. I hope the therapist can help your knee heal too. Hang in there and good luck!

Cassie said...

Owwww. So sorry about that. Hope tomorrow goes better (if you can get up!).

Busy Bee Suz said...

OOOOHHHH...I hope Isabel goes easy on you. WE need you back and NOT injured..:)
Good luck

Unknown said...

Oh my gosh. This made me laugh so hard. I want to send you a gift certificate for a massage. If I can just find some flipping money in my bank account... who knew a mortgage and a car could suck all that income up? : )

I had a car accident about a year ago and I had to go to physical therapy and I thought it was so silly. They would tell me to do the easiest things like walk on a treadmill for 5 minutes and I would be like, 'do you think you could look at my neck because that is what is really hurting me' and they would say "lay on your back and hold this ball over your head" and it was just a gigantic pain in my opinion!'

I hope this helps you! My Mom and dad have both had knee surgeries. My Dad says his life got so much better as soon as he did it. He is a huge advocate of surgeries and medicine. My Daddy is SO funny.

I Am Woody said...

Damn, if I don't have to ride that very same bicycle!! And then I get to do all kinds of fun leg lifts, and toe raises, and balancing stuff. With weights. And stretchy bands. It is loads of fun. And they top it off by packing me in ICE for 20 minutes. It's 15 degrees outside and they pack me in ICE!!

Anonymous said...

I knew it was coming with the hobbies...You're too funny!

Linda said...

Think of how good you will feel when you are back to 100%! I'm glad you can still blog, even with a bum knee!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Grandma J. is the funniest patient not wearing a bra that I know. She's downright hilarious even.

Unknown said...

I was just thinking about you this morning and hoping that the physical therapy doesn't make you hurt too much today. XO

Daryl said...

Maybe she can come participate in the highjinx at BlogFest ... she can be our personal trainer ... does she blog between her PT appts? I suspect not... you need to get her blogging ..

Together We Save said...

Oh my... I have now one of those drill sargents..... good luck.

Karen Deborah said...

Which is exactly why I used to take the initiative to pre medicate my ortho patients prior to their appointments with the "physical terrorists!"

big hair envy said...

We hate Isabel, right?