IT DOES A BODY GOOD, WITH HOT FUDGE

I'm an ice cream lover like none other. There was a time when I could down a pint a night watching TV and never gain an ounce....but then something happened...the earth started turning on its axles or antler, and all of a sudden a pint of ice cream would miraculously morf into three pounds of hip or thigh. Am I crazy? Does the math even make sense? 16 oz = 3 lbs squared.

I quit buying the stuff. Once in a blue moon I'll get a Wendy's Frosty, or maybe I'll raid someone else's freezer for an ice cream drumstick, but it's not daily.

Yesterday I read something that might ruin my appetite for ice cream for good.
Yep, PETA sent a letter to Ben & Jerry's asking them to switch from cows milk to human milk in their ice cream. They claim the cows are forced to get pregnant every gestation cycle so they continually produce milk.

They claim cows milk is bad for humans and is linked to all these illnesses:

allergies, heart disease, colic, flatulence, breast cancer, autism, diabetes, sick children, obesity, constipation, osteoporosis, acne, ear infections, prostate cancer, mucus, Crohn's Disease, beer, lactose intolerance.

They claim the cows aren't happy. Are they half crazy? I personally know that dairy cows are the happiest cows around.

What about Janice here...she's one of the California Happy Cows....named after me. Shes seems pleased that she's not top sirloin.

Then there is Diane....she's a Happy Cow too....and Dianne is my middle name. Who named these cows?

So friends, I think I will be keeping a close eye on the ice cream industry. I will definitely start reading labels for content. I'm just a bit too old for breast milk, from any one's mother.

Here's the real clincher...PETA has it in for M & M's. No one messes with my M & M's!

All opinions are mine. None were intentionally meant to hurt the feelings of any human, cow, or candy lover. Amen.