Thursday, September 25, 2008


I'm an ice cream lover like none other. There was a time when I could down a pint a night watching TV and never gain an ounce....but then something happened...the earth started turning on its axles or antler, and all of a sudden a pint of ice cream would miraculously morf into three pounds of hip or thigh. Am I crazy? Does the math even make sense? 16 oz = 3 lbs squared.

I quit buying the stuff. Once in a blue moon I'll get a Wendy's Frosty, or maybe I'll raid someone else's freezer for an ice cream drumstick, but it's not daily.

Yesterday I read something that might ruin my appetite for ice cream for good.
Yep, PETA sent a letter to Ben & Jerry's asking them to switch from cows milk to human milk in their ice cream. They claim the cows are forced to get pregnant every gestation cycle so they continually produce milk.

They claim cows milk is bad for humans and is linked to all these illnesses:

allergies, heart disease, colic, flatulence, breast cancer, autism, diabetes, sick children, obesity, constipation, osteoporosis, acne, ear infections, prostate cancer, mucus, Crohn's Disease, beer, lactose intolerance.

They claim the cows aren't happy. Are they half crazy? I personally know that dairy cows are the happiest cows around.

What about Janice here...she's one of the California Happy Cows....named after me. Shes seems pleased that she's not top sirloin.
Then there is Diane....she's a Happy Cow too....and Dianne is my middle name. Who named these cows?

So friends, I think I will be keeping a close eye on the ice cream industry. I will definitely start reading labels for content. I'm just a bit too old for breast milk, from any one's mother.

Here's the real clincher...PETA has it in for M & M's. No one messes with my M & M's!

All opinions are mine. None were intentionally meant to hurt the feelings of any human, cow, or candy lover. Amen.


Unknown said...

I missed Dancing with the Stars! We were playing Wii and didn't realize it was on earlier than last night. Sorry, and sorry that Ted got the boot...but seriously? He wasn't a good dancer.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you and the whole milk thing! I saw Dancing with the Stars and I am not happy with who got voted off!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

This puts a whole new spin on a double scoop.

We don't have a Ben and Jerry's - the closest one is 30 miles away, so we rely on the grocery store stuff. I think Breyers is the breast ice cream out there.

Oh, I mean BEST.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I am also too old for breast milk.
This is crazy. I am all for PETA, but really? ICECREAM? M and M's.
Don't they know the circus is still in business? that is who they should be chasing.

The Running Girl said...

OK, I don't really eat ice cream because I'm lactose intolerant, but if I did and they started using breast milk, I'd stop. But, I do love my M&M's, so please don't spoil that for me!!!

Unknown said...

CRAZY. crazy. CRAZY. I think it is very cool that California names their cows in advertising. We don't do that in Pennsylvania : ). Don't worry. There is absolutely NO REASON they picked your names for the cows. So funny though!

Big Hair Envy said...

I read about that breast milk thing yesterday as well. What I can't figure out is why it's NOT alright to milk cows, but it IS alright to milk women. Just askin'.

BOSSY said...

Lordy Bossy should probably PRAY they do away with cow's milk, which is her obsession. Her ass will thank her.

Liz Harrell said...

That kind of freaks me out. I'd hate to have to ditch icecream, but breast milk would send me running.

Keeper Of All Things said...

I seen this on CNN ...........Whats next placinta in my shampoo?
wait..they already do that.
And how much does breast milk cost?
Where do they get it from?
Can they give that job to 3rd world nations and boost thier economy at the same time?
I think I just cured world hunger!!!!

I Am Woody said...

Seriously, where do they think they are going to find women willing to be milked?!?

Unknown said...

woody, you are right, and so is everyone else.

Plus, I would want to know who these women are having sex with.

We know who the cows have sex with.

Anonymous said...

You certainly wouldn't want to milk women who were having sex with pigs.....

Karen said...

I can't imagine a woman being a milk donor on a regular basis. What happens if they organize and go on strike?
What happens to the cows? Are they set free to roam the country?

Will Starbucks have their own donors?
I need answers.

Caroline said...

OMG...human milk in ice cream...I would spew! What is up with this???

Anonymous said...

So i had some peanut M&M's today AND I am now in love with Ben & Jerry's Fo Yo... Yes, low fat frozen yogurty.. 1/2 the fat and calories and tastes the same! Can you believe it? (no boobs hurt in this comment..OK peta?)

Anonymous said...

I am not an ice cream lover.

Sure, it's good when I am pregnant...but I'm not pregnant.

Sure, it's good when you smoke reefer and have the munchies....I don't smoke reefer anymore, so no munchies.

Sure, it's good when you break up with a boyfriend.....I've got Big F....not breaking up with him anytime soon.

BUT......I do like me some Ben & Jerry's caramel ice cream every now and then......

I am a sucker for caramel.


Jason, as himself said...

Very clever post! I don't want any breast milk either, thank you very much.

PETA would not be happy with this post, though.

CGS said...

I'm surprised the La Leche League isn't up in arms about the PETA's proprosal for using breast milk. Can't you see their spin on it - "Babies Starve, But at Least You Can Eat Ice Cream!"

And as a mother who nursed her baby, I totally would not be willing to contribute milk to make sure the world gets ice cream.

cow punk said...

I'm a cow punk and I have to moo in and say, we are mostly happy creatures as long as we're milked and fed. Janice and Dianne wanted me to say Moo to you grandma J, they send their love.

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