Friday, May 29, 2009

Because You Asked For It

That's right, the final anti-climatic chapter in As Grandma J's World Moves. To be honest, I'd rather tell you about JJ's genital warts the trip I didn't take to Denver, or the one I cancelled to Las Vegas.

Not that any of this is worth repeating, I would like to refresh the whole fiasco in bullet points from day one.

1. Grandma J decides to move out of The Compound to The Spa The names should say it all.

2. Grandma J's neighbor jumps on the bandwagon and secures herself a lease at The Spa. As casual friends, this is not a bad thing.

3. GJ mentions to Deceitful Neighbor, as she treats her to lunch at the appropriately named En Fuego, that she hates moving, and how she'll miss the luxury of her SIL moving her, but with her bad back it's worth it to hire professional movers.

4. The next day, Biotch Neighbor calls GJ all excited.....she thinks her son just might move both of them if they move on the same day. But GJ isn't sure it's fair to the son for Greedy Neighbor to put him on the spot by offering his services. She let's Chimney Smoking Neighbor know she'll pay him $200 which should make the three mile move worth taking a day off from his job at Lowe's unloading pallets.

5. The deal is sealed! Then Crafty Neighbor has a bright idea! Since GJ has an SUV, they can help each other move small stuff by using GJ's SUV to move the stuff that won't fit in Nasty Neighbor's room size rugs that have birthed three litters of kitties. GJ said she really didn't think that was a good idea.

6. The next day the Sinister Neighbor calls GJ and says her son would love to move GJ, but he can't do any take downs or hook ups, like washers and dryers, or beds. And no small stuff like drawers, totes blah, blah.

7. So, Grandma J tells Evil Neighbor that maybe this is becoming too much for the son, and Grandma J will just get her own movers...for the sake of friendship.

8. "Oh No!" The Neighbor cackles! "He's really counting on the money, and already spent it."

9. Grandma J, bites her lip just to make it through....with the help of her daughter.'s moving day. Grandma J calls Sleeping Neighbor at 9:00 AM. What's up? Well it seems Mamma's Baby Boy wants to go out to breakfast to kill time because his helper doesn't get out of school until 11:00 AM. huh?

What the??? Ok, I say to myself, simmer down....relax, there is still plenty of small stuff to cart over. As Grandma J is leaving the old place on her second trip, she sees the truck pulling's a little after noon. She calls Sarcastic Neighbor only to find out the "friend" baled on her Adorable Son...but fear not, another friend is on his way. GJ tells her she has to stay at the new place and wait for the cable guy who's scheduled between 1-5, but she left her place unlocked so the guys can get the furniture....One couch, one dining table (no chairs) one washer, one dryer, one full size bed (broken down) and one high boy dresser (no drawers). Six friggin pieces of furniture.

Lucky for Grandma J, they load Witchy Neighbor's stuff first, which means GJ's stuff comes off first....such a small but sweet morsel.

When they arrive, Grandma J tells Nose-bent Neighbor that there might be another new neighbor moving in because this is what was parked across from her apartment by the units under construction.....

A nice Dodge Ram pick-up with shiny chrome wheels. Irritated Neighbor tells Grandma J that the truck belongs to her poor excuse of a son. A bit confused Grandma J asks why he couldn't move her rugs and big/little stuff. The answer? Are you ready? Hopefully you are sitting down. He couldn't help because his truck is new and he doesn't want it getting all scratched up. In other words he's lazy. BTW, did Grandma J tell you she has a brand new vehicle too?

After all the moving was done, Grandma J decides to hobble to her car and drive to Walgreen's for some thermal wraps. Not so fast! Money Grabbing Neighbor calls and wants to know if Grandma J can stop over and pay for her half of the gas for the rental truck. Gee, can this wait until morning? Well no, not Grandma J walks over to Arsehole Neighbor's apartment and writes her a check for $12. That's right, the gas was $24 for driving maybe 20 miles, and that's a stretch. Grandma J had a few choice words before stomping off.

Now for the kicker? Yeah, that's right....there is another turd they dropped on my plate.

When her son took my washer and dryer out of the old apartment, he took the doors off and left them off. This is what Grandma J's laundry closet should look like.....

I called No Longer A Friend Neighbor and told her that her Loser Son forgot to put the doors back on, and could he swing by and put them up sometime over the weekend. She bluntly said, NO.

Oh, one more thing, he didn't hook up the washer and dryer in the new he didn't. But a friend did.

Now, if you are still awake, aren't you glad you asked? The good news is, this was a good lesson.

The other good news is, Grandma J went to HEB for groceries and bought herself these....

.....and these with a pint of Haagen Daz coffee ice cream on the side.



Dawn said...

sounds like it was a crazy no-good day, for pete's sake! i guess you know who not to call if you need to borrow a cup of sugar... but the flowers are lovely, and i'm betting the side of ice ceam had a calming effect. hope you'll be able to wash & dry soon!

Philly said...

You are a better person than me, I wouldn't of paid the lazy basitd.

Glad you are getting settled in and look forward to some pics.


bluepitbull said...

Well, at least the nightmare is over.

goes to show what you can expect for your money these days.

Didn't want to scratch his truck? What the hell did he get a truck for in the first place?

Have a nice weekend.

Linda said...

Sounds pretty awful. I take it the neighbor isn't a favorite person? At least not anymore.

I guess we can all learn a lesson from your experience...hire people who do the job for a living, pay them, and have a professional job done.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Grandma J. sure does have a lot of neighbors!

I find that whole story infuriating, and I mean infuriating. She asked you to pay twelve friggin' bucks for gas after all THAT?

I'd like to smack that kid with the new truck right square on the face.

Not that you're speaking to her, but you ought to send her a bill for the gas YOU burned with all those trips back and forth AND for her half of the lunch you treated her to and for the time/labor spent fixing the doors to the laundry closet. There should also be an additional penalty for lying, being late, lazy and stupid.

Your flowers are beautiful; I'm glad that ordeal is over but when I come visit the Spa you'd better keep me away from Ms. Biotch. Things could get ugly.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

All I have to say is.....

Welcome Home Grandma J...Welcome Home!

Mental P Mama said...

You are waaaaay better than I would have been. I would have told them to shove it back at "I can't move little stuff." But on a happy note, it's over;) Enjoy your new spa digs!

Busy Bee Suz said...

This is a really crappy situation you have gotten yourself into. Your friend is horrid...well, not so much a friend anymore!!!
Lesson learned. Next time, call me.
JJ has genital warts?
I hope you are feeling better and have your blood pressure down again...take care, suz

Living on the Spit said...

I am so sorry that you experienced an awful situation like this. when you come to VA, we will make it all up to you! Then she can be jealous neighbor!!!

Anonymous said...

Moving is never fun, but what an awful experience for you to go through. It really stinks and I think your former friend should refund your $200.00! You were taken advantage of I think.

At least the move is over and hopefully you will have some nice new neighbors. I can't wait to see more pictures of your new digs.

Postcard Cindy

M said...

...I believe that son-o-b is much like the little ass in my class...the one I am contemplating strangling...I am sure they are related because the mothers keep making excuses.

AND, what the heck is a truck for?! I don't need to use my crystal ball to see that there isn't much of a friendship there...perhaps she should not have escaped the compound!

Anonymous said...

I'm soooo glad I was not near you and the no good neighbor! Don't you just love HEB though?

Anonymous said...

I would be livid! How frustrating. At least the day is done!

Anonymous said...

Now that you're all moved in, let me know when you are ready for some company. We can go to En Fuego, my treat.


Travel Girl said...

I hope she's done sucking the money out of you. Enjoy the spa!

Anonymous said...

janet said...
I'm spitting tacks for you! I could just cry.

Pat Jenkins said...

grandma j can i suggest you do not move again!!... he he.. i am glad it is over though. put your feet up for me!!

Life with Kaishon said...

OH MY GOSH! This made me so mad! Like I was almost ready to book a plane to Texas. WHAT IS WRONG with people. GRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr.

I am soad to say that I also had a pint of Hagan Daz coffee ice cream this weekend? What was wrong with me you wonder? ME TOO! I have no idea what posessed me. I did not have any trauma like yours.

mdvelazquez said...

All I can say is that Thank G*D! it is over.

Anonymous said...

I'm mad for you. So much for having a friend at the new place.