**Preface: Let me tell you about the lamest movie under God's Heaven. No, that's not the name of the movie, but maybe it should be. Just want to warn you that if you are busy, just go back to what you were doing because this review will probably be just as boring as the movie was.
Did You Hear About The Morgans? Please don't raise your hands....that wasn't a question, it's the name of the movie.
The Morgan's are a separated, married couple who decide to go out to dinner just because. Actually it's just because the husband is practically stalking his estranged wife, and she finally agrees to go out to dinner to shut him up.
They witness a murder after leaving the restaurant. And Meryl (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) is a high profile real estate agent with her picture plastered on magazine covers and the like. The killer finds out where she lives and yadda, yadda, yawn.
Because the killer made an attempt to kill Meryl, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who will be referred to as just Meryl or SJP because people need to give Grandma J a break with these long names.
Really, do you ever see Grandma J spitting out her whole name?
Ok, so the authorities tell Meryl and Paul, (played by Hugh Grant), that they will be going to an unknown destination in the Witness Protection Program. This is traumatic, to say the least, for these two high maintenance NYC gaddabout towners. No cell phones, no computers, art galleries...... NOTHING.
The Parkers....yeah, that's their new last name, end up in Wyoming. Wayyyyy out in the middle of nowhere part of Wyoming. They are forced to live together in a small cabin with a couple of retired Federal Marshalls who live there. With only one small guest room with a small bed, Meryl decides to sleep on the couch.
This movie is chock full of old cliches for this "New York is the Center of The Universe" couple. There are plenty of attempts at humor ala Beverly Hillbillys and Green Acres type jokes, except they seemed forced and aren't funny.
If you are still with me...I will tell you all about the only chance this movie had to redeem itself.
That's right......Paul gets cornered by a bear!! Grandma J actually sat up in her chair, and waited for some action. The sad thing is, there's probably more excitement in the clearance aisle at Big Lots than in this scene.
I don't want to go into detail and give away the fun filled action packed ending, but let's just say it's predictable.
Sadly, Grandma J gives this movie only 2 1/2 cowboy hats out of 5.