facebook, we need to talk

First of all you need to know that Grandma J's needs and wants are beyond your control simple.  By simple, she only goes on facebook for two reasons.

1.  She likes to spy on stay in touch with her kids, grandkids and close personal friends.

2,  She likes to play Bejeweled Blitz.   Actually she is addicted to Bejeweled Blitz. She has tried her darnedest to  limit her play time....until  you tempted her to download the game  on her iPhone too.

So fine, she is resolved to accept her addiction but then you start messing with her.

For instance, today she was disappointed to find Bejewel Blitz undergoing maintenance. 

You were kind enough to suggest she try one of your other games.  Grandma J  was tempted to turn off the computer but then she thought maybe she'd  try Zuma Blitz because the word Blitz was pulling her in because that's how addicts are.

So Grandma J did it....she clicked on the Zuma Blitz button.   It's called a button, right? 

This is what she got!!  Really facebook, really?  


XOXO Grandma J

Becoming His Own Dog

Grandma J wasn't just idly sitting, watching the world go by for the last nine months.  No sirree.  She spent some of the time on her laptop  playing Bejeweled Blitz on her phone  talking  and texting  playing Words With Friends with her family and friends.

JJ spent time with his friends at Pouncing Paws....and somewhere along the line he taught himself how to access my laptop. 

 Grandma J thinks  he discovered the face recognition log-in feature....and from there it was full speed ahead.

 He has his own facebook account and probably has more friends than Grandma J.   He doesn't have much to say, but seems to relish in the idea of  making friends with people in high places........

 Like Steve Jobs!   You would think JJDog could get Grandma J an iPad!

 It scares me that he has contacts with some women. 

An Open Letter to Facebook



Dear Facebook,

After being pushed and proded by friends and family who would love to know every detail of my life, and share every detail about theirs,  I finally signed up.   Now, it's not exactly my cup of tea, but I have to admit, I do like the Bejeweled Blitz game and Scrabble.

I find it handy that you send me an email everytime one of my grandchildren is constipated  wins a game and  their parents updates their page with the good news! 

However, I do find it a bit over the top that you also find it necessary to alert me on my iPhone everytime anyone has an epiphany to share with the world.

OK, so I can learn to live with those annoying wonderful features.  The main thing I'm having trouble with are some of your ads in the sidebar.   Here's an example of the ads you find necessary to share with me.

Oh goodie!    Congress wants to give me money?   Are you sure?   Who told them I was a senior?  This is great news, so I'm counting on you, Facebook to send me an email and sound the ringtone on my iPhone as soon as my check is in the mail. 

How clever is this?   A stairlift!   Once again, Facebook, you missed the boat.  I don't have stairs, but I sure wish we had  something like this while I was still working.    Climbing eight floors of stairs was a bi&*ch every time we had a fire drill or the elevators were out of order.

Did someone tell you I needed a new bathtub?   I do like the idea of  the walk in feature.   How many people does it hold?  And the free shipping isn't really much of an incentive. Free installation might be. 

Yeah.... THIS one takes the cake!  You really went over the top with this one, Facebook!   I find it rude and insensitive that you insist on bringing my dearly beloved DECEASED mother, Rita, into your ad campaign.   You are referring to my mother, right?

Really?   You think this guy would be a match for me?    Now that would be special.

NO!  GET OUT!   Now you are really getting my heart pumping.   This guy Googled me?   For real?  Be still my heart!

This one takes the cake.    Facebook, I'm really sorry but I have never filled out a date card.  I can only imagine what nuggets of information you would want.  hmmmmm.......

Ok, I like Velveeta on just about everything except ice cream.  

I go bananas, and could spend hours in Big Lots. 

I bring my own snacks to the movies unless someone else wants to buy me stuff. 

I pick my toes sometimes when no one is looking, and some people say I snore.   

I think that about does it. 

Love, 

Grandma J


Does anyone else get these ads on Facebook?   Is Grandma J the only person on earth that thinks Facebook is a bit annoying?