ask grandma j

FRIDAY MATINEE.....
...on any freaking day there is always a matinee worth talking about.

Grandma J had a blast on Easter Sunday. There was mass in the morning where arriving forty minutes early didn't guarantee a parking space in the church parking lot. That's because all the good friends of the Easter Bunny got there two hours earlier. These are the same friends of Santa Claus that show up on Christmas. You know where this left Grandma J. That's right, parked far away on a soft shoulder, and walking in the rain, crossing one of those dangerous FM routes to get to the church.

All was good...we ate a nice big breakfast at Cracker Barrel, then we went to the movies. The first movie of the day is cheaper, and Grandma J loves a bargain, but you knew that. Here in Central Texas, the seats in our new Cinemark 16 are only $5.50.


We went to see Observe And Report starring Seth Rogen. Yes it's rated R, and yes A-Ron and newly Permitted to Drive Granddaughter went.



We like to sit up against the handicap rail so we can kick the disabled put our feet up. That's right, Classy is our middle name.



And as you can see Grandma J had no problem asking a complete stranger to take our picture. She was slightly disappointed that he wouldn't let me use his popcorn and large Icee as props.

Oh yeah, the movie........



If you saw Mall Cop, you probably wished Paul Blart would get some balls and quit being such a wuss. Well, in Observe and Report, Ronnie Barnhardt is a vulgar, fowl mouthed, gun happy thug who is head of mall security. He is basically deranged and psycho.



He lives with his alcoholic, sleazy mother who, when asked by Ronnie if he was the reason his father left them, says "Yes".


Ronnie falls for a pretty blonde makeup girl from a kiosk in the mall similar to Paul Blart falling for the pretty girl in the wig kiosk in Mall Cop. The difference is, the makeup girl, Brandi, played by Anna Faris, can't stand Ronnie, but when she drinks she gets vulgar and raunchy.


The mall falls victim to a streaker, flasher, and this gives Ronnie the opportunity to prove that he is smarter than the detective assigned to the case. Some of his tactics are delusional and scary. I have to say, there is plenty of humor too. But there is also plenty of nudity.............


And when the streaker, who is older and fat, runs through the mall for what seemed like forever.....with us getting a full frontal view of his little noodle competing with his belly in the jiggling department...some of us laughed and someone covered their face.

Oh yeah, Ronnie shoots the streaker....and dispite all the blood and guts he is still alive, though barely.




I give this movie two out of five Easter eggs . Yeah, I thought it was that bad.