Monday, February 16, 2009

"...Grandma tried to poison us"

That's the message that my middle daughter relayed to me over the phone.

I told you I would report back on how my guinea pigs grand kids liked my fortune cookies. Well, here is the blow by blow, starting with my granddaughter.

first she had to open it up to read her fortune......"what? my dog is going to be a daddy? When?"

Then she took a nibble out of her cookie....

Me: So, is it good ?

Granddaughter: Uh,'s good.

Me: Take another bite, then chew it and swallow.

Granddaughter: Ok....bites a tiny bite...moves it around with in her mouth.

Me: Now swallow!!

Granddaughter: I did

Me: Let me wide. WIDER! lift up your tongue.

Granddaughter closes mouth, closes eyes....swallows hard!

She sits down on the stairs and JJ consoles her.

Now the boys come in. You can always count on the boys to be straight forward and tell you like it is.

Me: Hey guys, I made you some fortune cookies from scratch.

Grandson: What's scratch?

Me: That means homemade....try one. Read your fortune first.

Grandson's friend reads fortune: ...HUH! "you accidentally wake up 30 lbs lighter.."

Grandson's friend: No way can that happen, I can't lose weight and play football.

Me: How do the cookies taste.

Grandson: Gross

Grandson's friend: They taste like poison....are they poison?

Grandma J knew they were gross. They didn't look like, or taste like fortune all!


Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Note to self: Do not eat any homemade cookies Grandma D/J brings to July's Blog Fest. Feed them to JJ under the table.

I'm guessing your title of Grandma Deluxe may have slipped a notch? Maybe it's now Grandma Reflux?


Anonymous said...

I thought they looked weird yesterday but I wanted to appear polite.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

I'm back to say one other thing....the witch's picture of you, much like all the other self-portraits you do, is just too daggone funny.

AirmanMom said...

Great story!


Jason, as himself said...

Wow, you're gutsy, trying to poison your grandchildren like that.

heartshapedhedges said...

Stick to the rice krispy treats concoctions...they are always yummy.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh and all that hard work. Too bad. I thought it was a very clever and cute idea. Leave it to the kids to be painfully honest. :)

Linda Goossen said...

Well, I've never made 'fortune cookies', but I have made rice krispy treats, and they aren't the easiest either. The last time I made them, I couldn't 'melt' the marshmallows, and cooked and cooked them, finally poured them over the rice krispies, patted them into the pan, and waited for them to set up. Well, they set up all right! They were so hard, they almost broke the sidewalk when I threw them out to the dog. They would have made a great paperweight!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

LOL.. did you know they were gross before you tried to feed them to the children?
What does poison taste like? Now I am curious about these cookies.

hollywood said...

lol! That made me laugh outloud. My kids have written on the Nyquil and various other medicene bottles that say they are cherry or grape flavored that they are the flavor of NASTY.

Noticeably absent, did you not eat the cookies? (or poor JJ)

M said...

Oh my! I was hoping they were god because it would be fun to make some. Loved the post though...even though I know you wouldn't poison anyone!

I forgot it was ABC Monday...will have to do it today when I get internet and tired bones aren't helpful either!

Let's hope we mak it over the Grapevine- it was closed for snow yesterday!

big hair envy said...

What methods of attempted-poisoning have you used in the past? It seems that they are familiar with the taste:)

BTW - How come you gave Grandson's Friend MY fortune?? Now I'll actually have to keep going to the gym...

Treasia said...

Out of the mouths of babes. You can always count on kids to be honest. LOL

Keeper Of All Things said... appreciation

Anonymous said...

It was a good try. Atleast they were honest!

Life with Kaishon said...

I think you are so cool because you even tried : ). I am laughing my head off about the dog that is going to be a parent.... Very nice fortune choice. You are the coolest.