A Crisis Remedy
..and a movie review

When Grandma J last reported, she was dealing with a personal physical tragedy issue....that she was afraid would be permanent.   You know,  as permanent as if she had taken a wide edge Sharpie to her face.

Anyway, yesterday, Grandma J put on her sunglasses and headed out to the pool for her daily aqua aerobics class.  Throughout the class she kept dunking her head in a vat of chlorine bleach the water, hoping to bleach out the Caterpillar brows. 

Then it was off to a matinee to see Date Night starring Steve Carell as Phil Foster, a tax attorney, and  Tina Fey as his wife, Claire, a realtor, living in suburban New Jersey with two kids.

The Foster's have a standing date night every Friday night, but it's become routine and almost like another obligation.   With the news that another couple in their circle of friends is getting divorced, they start questioning their own marriage's lack of spark.

Claire decides to get all dressed up one Friday after work, and when Phil comes home he is taken back by how good she looks and decides to take her to the swankiest new seafood restaurant in Manhattan.

The Fosters don't have a reservation but plead with the maitre d’ to please let them know if there's a cancellation....and that they'll be hanging out in the bar....um, lounge.

Claire knows that Phil's insistence of getting a table on such a busy night is futile, but Phil remains optimistic.

When a hostesses announces a table reservation for the Tripplehorns several times with no response....well, you guessed it, Phil says, "US"!

this is where the fun begins, because unfortunately, in the middle of their meal they’re accosted by a couple of guys who order them out of the place  and demand that the “Tripplehorns” return a flash drive stolen from mob kingpin.

The rest of the movie is a very common and loooooong  foot chase, boat chase, car chase.  The plot is nothing that you can't figure out from the onset of the mistaken identity.   It has a familiar theme, similar to  Did You Hear About The Morgans? 

Grandma J has to give this movie three stars because she's generous when she likes the stars.

**Grandma J loves watching this little hummingbird mama sit on her nest.  The coin sitting next to her is a penny! 

It's Wordful Wednesday....

 with a  REVIEW saga

 

Once upon a time...Grandma J went to see a movie matinee once a week.  

Sometimes she brought a friend, most times she was too cheap to pay for two tickets or share her popcorn.



Then she decided toget fit, so she joined and aqua aerobics class, and started frolicking in the pool for two hours a day.

....and frolick she did.

But yesterday, she decided she'd see a really funny matinee after her aqua aerobics.  One hour in the pool was all she planned on because she decided to take a few minutes to follow a suggestion to spruce up her appearance.

She dyed her eyebrows....no kidding.   You're laughing, right?   I know you are, and that's OK.

Then, the dye wouldn't come off her FACE.....all day, all night. 


Grandma J is telling you all this because she  didn't get to the matinee yesterday....she probably won't go to the pool today.


remedies?  suggestions?

It's been ions since Grandma J's been to a matinee.   Ever since she started her aqua aerobics class she's been too water logged busy frolicking for two hours a day in heavily chorinated water.

Today that all changes...she's going to see a movie with two of the funniest people on the planet.   Especially her favorite actor from her new favorite sitcom....The Office.

So, after aqua aerobics, Grandma J is off to ruin the first seat behind the rail see Date Night in her wet bathing suit, hidden under her clothes.

Hasta....

A to Z MONDAY
...the edible edition

Brought to you this week by the letter N

....as in Nuts

But, let's not talk about plain old Nuts.  Grandma J wants to talk about Nut stuff....

Like her ancient Planter's Peanut Mr. Nut costume that she's planning on buying for $10k.

Of course Mr. Peanut is almost older than Grandma J dirt.  Here he is celebrating  his 30th birthday during the great depression.....probably.

Somewhere on God's green earth, Girl Scouts sold salted Nuts in the '50s.  Did you know Grandma J was a Girl Scout in the 50's?   She didn't know about the Nuts.

Peanut butter is a super popular Nut food....yes it is

In the early days, no one scared the bee gee zuzz out of kids like Beech-Nut's mascot.  See all the kids running away?

So, in 1931....Beech-Nit made an executive decision to switch.....

.....to gum.   Of course their marketing focused on Beech-Nut Gum for smokers.

click picture to enlarge

It wasn't until they got rid of those morbid looking men added secretaries to their ads did Beech-Nut Gum take off like wild fires.

Skippy had it's share of Nuts.....but Grandma J only knew about Skippy Peanut butter.

Of course everyone jumped on the peanut butter  and wagon, like Laura Scudder.   After a while she moved to Idaho...and you know the rest of the story.

Peter Pan had Wendy whip up some snacks with his brand of peanut butter. 

Big Top Peanut Butter decided to use lots of kids in their ads....literally!

There are other Nut stuff...like Grape-Nuts. 

Over the years the grape-Nuts evolved like no one's business.   Here is an example of a vintage Grape-Nuts ad....

The sucessful businessman knows how to start his day with steady nerves and a keen, clear brain with Grape=Nuts.......oh my, who knew?

OK, now we know the secret to our man's attempt at superior brain.

Grandma J isn't nuts done, she has a couple more really freaky odd peanut ads for you......
 
 

That's right...it's PeaNut Andy, Miracle Worker...  the mascot that never quite made it. So bad, so sad.
 
 
 

Here's Karo's ad for PeaNut Pie.   Thank goodness the world has been purged of these scarey babies!

Now, scoot on over to A to Z Mondays, hosted my Jen at unglazed to see some normal N foods.  And hey, it's never to late to join in!

My Name is Grandma J
....and I'm a slacker



That would be a slacking blogger.   There's not too many excuses for this bahavior.   It's not as though Grandma J has a job.  It's not that she spends all day looking at baby owls or baby bald eagles. 

No.....it gets even more pathetic.

It's this game

And it's even more fun when Grandma J  can clobber  beat her Blisters and Facebook friends.   Well, actually Grandma J can only do that the first day of the game every week.  By tomorrow she'll be knocked down into the bowels of Bejeweled Blitz.....not a happy place.

 Is there a twelve step program for Bejeweled Blitz?


Is there a game or farm that has taken over your life?

WOODLESS WEDNESDAY
.....for real

It's easy peasy.....come join Wordless Wednesday.

What Price Fame?


If you were an actress, and you got a call from a central casting to do a commercial for a pharmacutical company, how excited would you be?


What about doing a commercial for a product like Phillips Colon Health products?   Ok, it's really almost a PSA but with a pay check.  

Taking care of ones colon is a serious matter.  God only knows that Grandma J makes no bones about taking care of her colon by getting it reamed scoped every few years.


Now let's say you signed on with Phillips, and go on a whirlwind tour promoting their colon cleansing products.   Kind of like when Pioneer Woman jets around the country promoting her book at signings and on all the daytime TV shows.......

And, how fun would it be to see your face plastered on the walls of the airport terminal as you walk along on the people mover.....similar to the Geico Apes.

And look how special you are with your very own Purple Colon Health carry-on bag?  Grandma J just loves free  corporate gifts.

And the excitement would never end when stranger's come running up to you!

WOMAN: You’re the colon lady!


COLON LADY (grinning from ear to ear): Diarrhea constipation gas bloating that’s me!

Then, you proceed to hand out samples of Phillips Colon Cleansing kits!

Here's a short clip of The Colon Lady as she proudly boasts about her new identity...




This is almost as irritating as the woman who yells....at Toby's new trick!

A to Z Monday
....the edible edition

Brought to you this week by the letter M for Milk.

Do you remember the commercial catch phrase....Make Mine Milk?


Let's take a walk down the memory lane of Milk...in no particular order......

 

click on all photos to enlarge

Here's good ol' Elsie, the Borden cow. She tried her darnest to convince Rita that I'd love that powdered  stuff.  

Then, Elsie got a hair up her arse all clever and decided Hemo was way better than plain old milk. Kind of like the cat's pajamas.   What  the heck is Hemo?

So, while Borden's  had Elsie pushing  powdered milk or Hemo, the hired her husband Elmer to sell......

Glue!  Ok, so Grandma J is getting out in left field and totally off subject.....let's get back to the milk thing.

In the thirties and forties, evaporated milk was the rave.   You could store these cans in your pantry and never worry about them going bad until you opened them.  

Grandma J misses Fibber McGee and Molly....and please take note that Johnny Carson was known as Jack!

Now good old Elsie was pushing a trifecta, which now included bottled milk.  Homogenized or pasturized...who knew!

Then one day in the 1950s, the world was introduced to the Pure-Pak!  That's right, the cardboard box milk container.   The one that fifty years later would be considered un-green.

Of course the  milkman latched on to the Pure-Pak container and mothers all across the country had no problem letting their toddlers open the door for this guy. 

Meanwhile, our neighbors to the north, in the Canadian Rockies, had a much better take on the whole milk thing.

And where did they find kids with this demonic look for ads back in the 50's?   And I thought only Rita cut her daughters' bangs into little stubs like that.

Now, a question for you.......

 Have you ever seen a refrigerator/freezer like this before?   Grandma J wouldn't mind having this...even if it was turquoise.

Now mosey on over to A to Z Mondays, hosted by Jen at unglazed to see a plethora of other M foods.