Wordless Wednesday

XOXO GRANDMA J

ON THE ROAD TO PLANO

Yes, it's Another Book Signing!

By now y'all must know that Grandma J's neighbor Joan is also her BFF.   Joan doesn't have family here in Texas, and until SGM John came back in August, Grandma J was family-less too. 

 

Joan and Grandma J walk their dogs together daily. 

 

 

Max is a sweet lovable English Bulldog. He loves JJ to pieces, and is the most passive dog I know.

 

JJ on the other hand is mean to Max, and took this rawhide bone right out of Max's mouth.  I don't know why he is so selfish and mean to Max. 

 

Among a plethora of common interests, which Grandma J will tell you about in time, she and Joan share the same conservative ideology.  Grandma J will avoid getting all political on you because, well, she loves you anyways...and always.

So, when Grandma J told Joan that the woman she admires more than GrapeNuts, and the woman who inspired her to give up her career in publishing to become a soldier and serve her County, would be signing her latest book 150 miles away in the Plano, TX.......it was game on.  

Joan told her commander she wanted to go to the book signing and meet Governor Sarah Palin, but that the book signing was on a Tuesday...her commander ordered her to go...well, ordered is a strong word, but he did encourage her.

 

It's four in the morning and we are on the road to Plano.  The book signing is from noon 'til  two, so we were hoping to arrive by eight...giving us time to stop for Starbucks along the way

We arrived at the Costco where the book signing was being held and got in line along the outside wall where a couple about 150 people were already camped out. 

About an hour before Gov. Palin arrived,  a representative from Costco came down the line to inform everyone that only Costco members were allowed in for the book signing.  There were not offering one day passes.  Well, where Grandma and Joan live, they are 70 miles from the nearest Costco, and don't have memberships.  The remedy offered by Costco was to simply buy a membership.  So be it, Grandma J decided to buy one, so did Joan.

When we went to sign up, we were told someone else had bought us our memberships......

 

This lovely lady!!  We told her that it really wasn't necessary, but she wanted to do something nice for Joan to thank her for her service.  Then she wanted to have her picture taken with Joan.  I'm always amazed at the generosity of strangers

 

 Although there were other photos, this is the photo I love the most of Joan with Governor Palin.  It was taken by the event's photographer, and I've ordered a framed copy for Joan.
I must say, the trip was well worth it, and a stop at In n Out Burgers on the way home was the icing on a very good day.

XOXO  Grandma J 

 

Book Signings

Grandma J goes to more book signings than movies, well almost.  The thing is, there are people who make a difference in this world, some small, some big.  Some write books, and give us the opportunity to meet them face to face and for just a few moments they become part of your world.

Six  years ago, in 2008, after learning that Sgt. John liked Ollie North's War Stories, Grandma J  dragged him  went  to an Ollie North book signing. 

Then Grandma J went to another book signing in 2010 while Sgt. John was over in Iraq fighting for our freedom.  No picture, but two signed books.
 

In 2012, Ollie showed up again!  And, of course Grandma J was first in line....even though it meant a four hour wait.   She went alone, once again because Sgt. John was in Korea.......

.

Fighting for our freedom,  With a bit of relaxation thrown in for good measure.

Then, last month Ollie was back in town!  Does anyone think that maybe he's stalking Grandma J? 

 This time Sgt. John, whose now a SGM, was with her. 

 Grandma J loves this picture of two American patriots.  Oliver North is 70 years young and still goes to war zones with the troops.

 SGM John standing by Ollie North's tour bus.
This was a fun day and hopefully not the last time we have the honor of shaking hands with Oliver North.  Yes, Grandma J shook his hand too....after all, if he can take the time to stalk her, that's the least she can do.

XOXO  GRANDMA J

Most Annoying Christmas Ad

They're back!!

Yes, I'm talking about the Pajamagram ads.  Always suggestive and provocative...and very annoying.  It wouldn't be so bad, but they run every fifteen minutes on all channels. 

 

The adult ones are quite provocative and suggestive beyond what Grandma J would consider a pajama ad.  Of course Grandma J loves her some sweats that take her directly from bed to walking JJ....and maybe beyond to a quick trip to Starbucks.

 

Then we have the family look-a-like pajamas.  No one is left out of this line of pajamas, not even the dog or cat.   Seriously, do cats wear hoodies?

What is your most annoying Christmas Commercial?  Please don't say the Lexus commercial.  I love it and really think one day it will be under my tree.

XOXO GRANDMA J

Weird Wordless Wednesday

It's in the can

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

Grandma J XOXO

Search and Destroy...

..with a twist from a screwdriver.

That's what happened to my old laptop in more ways than one.   It's been almost a month since my cute little dog, JJ I accidentally  spilled coffee on my laptop, causing it to die a swift and painful death.
I tried to save it by following all the suggestions I received, like using air in a can, a blow dryer on cool, and putting it in rice.  OK, this is where I am tempted to say something about certain ethnic groups who live on rice, but I won't.  I didn't try the rice thing because the only rice I have is rice-a-roni. 

After soliciting suggestions on whether to get a desktop, laptop, or tablet, I decided on the laptop due to the level of familiarity I thought I had. 

The newer desktops are nice with everything built into the monitor, but it's not mobile.  Of course with the Internet on my phone I almost opted for the desktop because it was a bit cheaper, and besides, I hate trying to use the keyboard on my phone...my fingers are too fat.

Now I must say, ordering a laptop over the Internet is pretty easy.  I bought it from Walmart, and picked it up less than an hour later.  I was just too anxious to get it out of the box and start using it right away........
Yeah, famous last words. The part I thought I would love would be the Windows 8, but honestly, it was like learning a whole new language. 

This is your start menu.  Don't go looking for the "start" in the lower left corner.

These are your apps.   Once you open one, don't go looking for a little X in the upper right-hand corner to close it.  Closing apps is a deep dark secret.

 Forget using the touch pad (I'm still a mouse girl), but now it's touch screen to boot!  I won't bore you with all the suicidal thoughts I had when I realized my brain was too full to take in all the new info that Windows 8 required.  Oh yes, and the very next morning my new laptop told me to be patient while it loaded Windows 8.1.

Moving on, I decided to remove the printer disc from my old laptop.   You see, I was trying to re-install my printer to my old laptop when the coffee incident happened.  So now, I thought I'd install my printer on my new laptop.   But....you can't get the DVD drive to open unless the laptop has power!!  So I did what any insane woman would do.....

I pried that drive open with a screw driver.  Yes I did.  And yes, I know I could have removed the back of the laptop with the same screw driver but what fun would that have been?

 

 

Now I have to slowly play the tutorials on how to use my new laptop.  Of course I could have done that to start, but that's not much fun either.

 

Stay tuned because Grandma J has so much to tell you about her lasted adventures and movie reviews.

 

GRANDMA J

    XOXO

 

Stuck In The Slow Lane...By Two's

It's been two months since I tried to update my poor iPhone 4. Because I was too cheap to buy one with enough memory two years ago, I didn't have enough memory to update my settings.

It's  been two weeks and one day since JJ destroyed my laptop.  Of course that means its been two weeks since I've blogged....after a two year hiatus.  I've made one lame attempt to post on my blog but since my phone is lame, I can't upload photos or links. I am literally illiterate.

If you are still with me as I cry me a river, that means you are either bored or you love me.

I will be making a decision today to buy either a new laptop, tablet or desktop.  I need your help.  I can only buy one of these options. So, without further adeiu, I am soliciting for advice.  Please keep $$ in mind because ill be spending my grandkids Christmas gifts.

Love. Grandma J

Love, from my lame iPhone .......

Grandma J

It's 4 a.m., where's your laptop?

Yeah, silly question, but if your dog spilled coffee on your laptop two or three days ago you might be able to ask the same question.  And if you had to try to write a blog post on your barely functional iPhone at four in the morning while watching a taped episode of Red Eye while propped up on three pillows you might want to send me a Candy Crush life.
So since this is an attempt of trial and error, and even though Grandma J has a ton of stuff to tell you she will leave you with this tidbit......



It's his birthday.  Happy 33rd birthday Ryan

Time Flies When.....

you're lazy busy

Some of you know that Grandma J took a two year plus hiatus from blogging.  This wasn't intentional, but rather a bad case of brain freeze, or, when taking her age into consideration,  some folks might refer to it as phase I.

I will try to catch you up on some of the shenanigans that Grandma J was caught up in during that lapse of journalistic enlightenment.   The events will be in no particular order, just sprinkled between current events and as  memory allows.

Let's start with the feet and work up, shall we?

 

Grandma J had terrible pain in her second toe on both feet.   She assumed, wrongfully, that this was due to all her strenuous physical activity.  The pain was interfering with her aqua aerobics and especially bad while she slept, so she went to see her doctor her referred her to a toe specialist, or to put it in simpler terms, a podiatrist.  

 

 

 

 The second toe is the toe Grandma J  has often referred to as the "wife" in the family of toes.  On her feet it was always the tallest toe of them all.  

 

The toe doctor recommended surgery on both feet.....at once.  Since Grandma J lives along she felt this was the perfect solution to temporarily put the brakes on her gallivanting ways. She also had her son-in-law back in town to cater to her every whim and keep her drugged.

 

 

 

So surgery it was!  They fitted  Grandma J with some stylish Velcro-closing boots.  She wore these for nine weeks, including her trip to International Blog Fest 2013, the reunion in Richmond VA.

 

 

The doctor put implants, wires and screws in the "wife" toes.  The wires came out with one yank, causing Grandma J to use words that cause people to recoil in horror. 

   

 

She won't show you the "after" surgery pictures that will make you scream out in horror, but she will show you what her piggies look like three months after surgery.....

 

 

Her "wife" toes are shorter....and fatter, and they stick up.  The fatter and stick up part will improve, but they will forever be shorter.

 

 

 

The good news is, she's headed to Dallas this weekend and all her tootsies will be sporting these....

 

 XOXO Grandma J

 



This Week in Pictures

Grandma J has been planning a three day junket to Bossier City, Louisiana for the first time in several months.   It's not far from the Texas border in the northern part of the state.

 

 

  Since her son-in-law is now stationed back at Fort Hood, and his family is still in AZ, she decided to invite him to go along.  Who had a nice piece of chocolate mouse pie for dessert for breakfast.

 

 







The Horseshoe Hotel/Casino is on the Red River, or to be more exact, it's right along the I20......just depends on which side of the hotel your room is.   Grandma J lucked out and insisted  requested that they give her a room along the river....and they did, on the 24th floor.


 

When traveling with others, it's always a good idea to go with someone who likes to iron.  Someone who likes to iron for YOU!

 

 

Grandma J almost had a heart attack with this win.  It wasn't that great but it sure did look good, and of course there are all kinds of sound affects to make everyone think you hit a big jackpot.

Saturday afternoon we went out along the RiverWalk and went to see a movie....Jackass: Bad Grandpa....see the review here.  

After the movie we did a bit of window shopping which is blog speak for not buying stuff.   We did stop at Starbucks inside the Marriott for something to drink.

 

 

Along with tons of shops and restaurants, the RiverWalk has a new hotel Casino......Margaritaville. Since we were already there, sort of, we decided to throw some money away try our luck.

 

 

CSM John was on a mission and activated his Asian magical moves on the screen.   You know the moves.  You spin the reels they rub your hands all over the machine.   Does this drive anyone else crazy?

Sunday we did some more casino stuff, then after lunch we hit the road for home. 

Grandma J decided to dress  up for Halloween so she could scare the Bee Geezus out of the neighborhood kids.  The hat, wig and birds were all from Dollar Tree....which is also Grandma J's favorite store for almost everything non edible.

Her friends and neighbors, are both 1st Lieutenants in the  US Army... Hello Kitty and Joan.   We attended a local afternoon party, then Grandma J had them over for a Mexican dinner.

 

Here they are with another soldier, 1st LT  Vegan Lisa.  Grandma J doesn't know why  all these beautiful Army officers hang out with her, but she has so much fun with them.

But when it comes to pretty girls and cute Halloween costumes, you have to admit, this first baby Astronaut is as cute as it gets.

 XOXO Grandma J

Wordless Wednesday

Photo Bombing......

 

XOXO Grandma J

Movie Review.....From Louisiana

Warning, this movie is rated R......but should be rated X

Grandma went to Bossier City, Louisiana  with her son-in-law, CSM John, to see "Jackass Presents:  Bad Grandpa".

 Just so you know, if you want to see this movie, don't go with your son-in-law or any other male who isn't your significant other.   It can be a tad embarrassing....in a very funny way. Also, this movie is not for kids....and if your teenagers start laughing uncontrollably, that means they probably went to see Bad Grandpa. 

Jackass' Johnny Knoxville stars as Irving Zisman, his old man character.  The movie opens with Irving getting the bad news that his wife has passed away.  At her funeral, attended by only strangers of course, his daughter shows up with his grandson Billy, (played by Jackson Nicoll).  She tells him she has to go back to jail and asks him to take Billy to his father in North Carolina.  Reluctantly, that's what Irving does...

 

 

 

But, before they can actually hit the road, Irving decides to have an estate sale.   Where his demonstration of how his marital bed raises up.

 

Along the way, there are numerous episodes of pranking people.  Because of a disagreement with the funeral home, they have to bring his late wife's corpse along for the ride, comfortably stowed in the car's trunk...most of the time. 

 

The pranks are very funny.....like when they decide to make sandwiches in a grocery store........

 

 

........... they end stash the loaf of bread before fleeing when they get caught.

 

The pranks continue, some pretty raunchy, like when Irving gets his penis, named Leroy, caught in a Coke Machine outside a convenience store.   There are other scenes that display Leroy.....like in a strip club.  No such details are available here.

 

 

Along the way, Irving enters Billy in a children's beauty pageant where Billy dresses up in a Honey BooBoo...ish costume.

 

One hilarious part is Billy doing his talent portion where he sings "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean, which includes a strip and pole dance.  

 

If you go see Bad Grandpa, stay for the credits which includes some very funny take-outs.  Grandma J liked this  movie, even though she thinks her son-in-law laughed way too much.....but so did she.  So, with that, and given the great job of acting by Knoxville and Nicoll, she gives this movie four and a half stars. 

 

XOXO Grandma J