GIFTS FOR BLOGGERS



Let's start with some bling from Gyrlz Lyfe! Not that it's computer or blogger related....it's just classy. I would love one for myself, but with the lack of donut shops in Texas, I'm afraid I would have those cute donuts chewed off in no time.


I know most of you are too sophisticated for some of the gift ideas I've posted. In fact you indicated your disdain for the Chicken Poop lip balm...even though it's free range!

I'm beginning to understand that the readers of this blog are diverse and geographically spread out. One in Florida, one in Philly and the other three in Virginia. Technically, I think all of you live together in Australia, but that's just a hunch.

Anyway, here are some more blogger appropriate gifts.

Here we have an air conditioned mouse. It should prevent your hand from sweating as you blog 12 hours a day.

Next we have the illuminated keyboard. Perfect for the night owl who likes to work in covert conditions....like in the dark. These run between $25 - $100.

How about some replacement keys for those days when the world spins off it's axle. Is the world on an axle?

Some of you are closet bloggers....I know who you are....wouldn't it be nice to have a rear view mirror to prevent suspicious aliens from sneaking up on you?

And, how about my new work station with all the conveniences you could ask for. Let me get up and show you.....

That's right.....a built in loo.

WHO LET THE DOG.....

....play in the toilet?

I know what you are thinking...That Grandma J will use any attention grabbing title just to sucker me in. To that I say...."aren't you insightful"

Now back to the subject at hand. But before we do, I think I have a seed off my ham on rye sandwich lodged under the S key on my laptop. Anyone know how to clean under the keys on a laptop?

Ok, here we go. As you can see, I have writer block today..which is why I'm going to introduce you to some pets who love to waste water. Talk about huge carbon foot prints! Oh...and these are not my pets...they are random pets.

The dog goes first.....



Now these cats get a turn in the bathroom. This can be your new ringtone...



Say goodnight Grandma J....

Goodnight!

When The Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie...
......your career as an astronaut is in trouble.


Lately, some of you have wondered why I've been hanging out with my old astronaut buddy from NASA. Business has been slow for the Space Shuttle, and it looks like there might be some cuts in the Space Program in the future.

You might remember the unfortunate situation he experienced with the unexpected malfunction of the space toilet in June. He was one of the few astronauts who had the where-with-all to have a back-up solution...

the official NASA diaper....

Then, the new Russian bathroom ended up with it's own issues, by issues we are talking gas...gas separation type issues.

With time on his hands and only a few bucks in his pocket, my old buddy has been hanging around the Compound....

.......traipsing along uninvited to the movies with me, and eating like there's no tomorrow all day. The old saying "hungry as a bear" has taken on a whole new meaning.

With cutbacks looming, my friend went job hunting. Looking for a career change. Something to put bread on the table if you will. This is what he came up with.....

Yeah, he's looking for a quick buck....and based on the amount of money he's bringing in, pole dancing just might be his calling......just maybe.

But it attracts the seediest groupies.

SPACE TOILET GOES ON THE FRITZ........
......again!

Zero-G commode fails just when space station is expecting company.

The master bathroom for three astronauts aboard the international space station is on the fritz again, just days before a trio of new spacefliers are due to launch toward the orbiting lab, NASA officials said Friday.

A temporary telemetry glitch also sent the space station into a so-called survival mode earlier this morning, changing the orbiting outpost's attitude and leading to system power downs for several hours.

"It failed late yesterday," NASA spokesperson John Ira Petty said of the Russian-built space commode in televised commentary from Mission Control in Houston. "Russian specialists are troubleshooting. The problem appears to be a [gas] separator issue."

A new toilet, a pair of astronaut bedrooms and a handy new system that recycles urine into pure, drinkable water are on the docket for a fall shuttle flight to the space station, where they'll be tested before the outpost can scale up to six-person crews next year.

This guy is not as prepared for these emergencies.......

.....as this guy!

TEN WORD TUESDAY ON WEDNESDAY
with more words thrown in for flavor

Yesterday was supposed to be a productive day around the old homestead. I had to finalize and customize my cruise itinerary with the Cruise Personalizer online. I want to share my itinerary with Pumpkin Delight because she's going on a different cruise but we dock in the same ports. So I answer all the really important questions like, "do you want a robe in your cabin?" or "do you request a newspaper or a wheelchair?".

I also wanted to get a pedicure, then do some shopping for stuff I will never find in hell Central Texas.

I turn on the shower to get the hot water going, go potty, then jump in the show....la la la la. Shampoo hair, shave...la la la la. I step out of the shower on to a wet floor...a soaking wet FLOODED FLOOR. My toilet overflowed and I had no clue because I flushed and immediately got in the shower.

I don't know what caused it, but I do know how to use a plunger..

and that's what I did. But no matter how hard I try, it doesn't do the job. I call the office here at the compound, and they tell me they will have a plumber out within an hour.

Two hours later, the plumber arrives....it's not Josephine the Plumber but Hobo Kelly the plumber! Imagine that? It made me wonder if Josephine became a clown.


The plumber lady tries to fixes the toilet. Then she tries again. Then she leaves, without saying good-bye. Then she comes back with a new toilet! She installs it with the help of the compound's maintainence guy. This is the guy who destroyed my bird nest. Remember? By the time they finish up...the day is shot! I wash the bathroom floor, then take a nap.

Today, I'm getting a pedicure, then going shopping for stuff that I'll never find here in hell Central Texas.

Big Brother fans, don't forget to vote in my poll. Tonight is week two eviction!

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

I kid you not. It seems the Space Station crew has a new challenge. The four words you don't want to hear in space: "The toilet is broken." Some of you are saying to yourself, does she have to talk potty stuff two days in a row? My answer to you is hey, I don't make the news, I just pass it on. The bit of good news is the problem is only with one of the collectors...no, I'm not going to explain it in detail because frankly, some of you don't have the stomach for that kind of talk, so I will let Nasa explain it to those of you that need to know. Pretty extravagant potty isn't it? Thank goodness they have a back up supply of these diapers made famous by this astronaut.

I have my own little astronaut to model one for you so you get an idea about how they fit. See what I mean? Being an astronaut is not all fun and walks in the park on Mars.
I get a great sense of satisfaction when I can bring something educational and newsworthy to y'all.