ask grandma j

Don't Hurt Me Bro!

or as they say in Chinese... 不要傷害我好朋友!

Tonight, I took my neighbor, (no not that neighbor), Donna, out to dinner for her birthday. We tried a new Mexican restaurant in our local tiny mall, called Hornduck Tavern. It's so fancy shmancy, the only thing I found on the Internet was their Temple Texas location, and a karaoke singer with them featured on her Facebook page. I'm serious. It looked the same but the menu wasn't Mexican....or as it's referred to here...Tex Mex.

The food was great, and the place was packed on a Tuesday night. The main dining room was still being remodeled, but the accommodations in the lounge bar were just fine.

Another event to celebrate was Donna and I both signed leases on apartments in a brand new adult complex gated compound that offers amenities more fitting our lifestyles. Only a few units are ready and we will be the first to move in. For me, I get an actual garage and a kitchen with a granite counter top. The granite part isn't important, it's the whole counter top concept that had me sold. I won't have to roll out pastry on the bathroom floor my dining room table.

Donna likes the sprinklers over her bed in the event one of her boyfriends gets too hot to handle...she seriously told me that.

We both like the idea of the pool being heated year around, and the concierge service that includes coffee and pastry on the house every morning. Oh yeah, and someone named Huey will come collect my trash off my front porch three days a week at 8 a.m. We will have a movie theatre which won't stop me from going to the theatre with the hand dip ice cream counter for first run matinees.

There's a ton of stuff that I probably won't partake in but it's nice. I took my daughter and the kids over on Easter Sunday to see if we could get in one of the units. As soon as my daughter walked in, she said "and the reason you have to think twice about moving here is....?"

OK, so Donna and I finish our double whammy celebratory dinner, and decide to get one of these Chinese massages in the mall. You've seen them, right? They usually set up next to the people who sell the beauty products from the Dead Sea. Grandma J told you all about her experience with the Dead Sea people...remember?

Donna goes first.......

..... and I wait because the other masseuse is in the middle of molding this man into her new sex toy.

Yeah, of course you think I'm kidding...but she was really getting physical and scaring Grandma J.

In the end, twenty minutes of a good Chinese massage was worth making a spectacle of myself in the mall. Have you ever had one of these mall massages?